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MacHacker's avatar

How do I break up with my girlfriend?

Asked by MacHacker (71points) July 15th, 2007 from iPhone

Ok, so I have been dating this girl for about 7 months. She was a close friend prior to us dating (yes I know, first mistake). Nothing is wrong in our relationship except I am bored. Nothing against her but I'm thinking the feelings are no longer "love". Any ideas how to let her down easy?

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21 Answers

GD_Kimble's avatar

Sorry. There's no easy to do it. She'll be hurt regardless of what you say, but I think the best way to go about it is total honesty. You have to face the fact that you're GOING TO BE the bad guy here, and she will be hurt and angry with you, but if you do what needs to be done with respect and as much kindness as possible... at some point she will be OK, and you can begin to rebuild the friendship.

Perchik's avatar

Just be honest.

(and i dont think being a good friend was a mistake at the beginning)

MarkHeftler's avatar

I'd have to agree with Perchik on both points there. The girl I'm currently with and I started off as friends, and I can easily see myself being with her forever, something I've never felt with any other girl...

sjg102379's avatar

I disagree with GD on one point--I don't think that you can count on her wanting to be friends after the break-up, and if that is the case, part of the whole respect/kindess thing is respecting that need, too.

intrigued's avatar

tell her honestly how your feel, at the same time don't be surprised if she no longer continues to be your best friend specially if she has strong feelings for you. The friendship angle might take a twist after being in a relationship..

clari0n's avatar

I just recently had a very similar situation, only I had been dating this girl for over 2 years. What ended up happening was that we both ended up feeling the same way. Perhaps your girl is just as bored as you are. I would suggest that you talk to her about it. You might be surprised to find that she agrees, and perhaps you can still salvage the friendship.

kneck's avatar

Curious: is boredom the only reason you want to break up? Because I think any relationship goes through periods of boredom.

MacHacker's avatar

Boredom and an overwhelming feeling that something is missing. Like i have come to terms that the love i feel is out of friendship, not a romantic attraction.

zina's avatar

Just honestly talk to her about how you're feeling - maybe not even getting to any conclusion (like breaking up) right away, but just discussing the subject matter, and how you feel, and ask how she feels, .... You can see how the conversation goes and where it leads to. You both deserve clear communication about it in any case, and you may (or may not) be surprised. Unless you have some time-sensitive reason to run out, there's no reason to. Eventually (after a few conversations/days/weeks/whatever feels right) if you are sure you want to break up, she'll hopefully understand because it wouldn't be good for her either to be with someone that isn't feeling that special somethin toward her. And as others said, you can't predict how she'll feel and deal with it afterward, and the best you can do it be respectful and a good friend and see what she wants.

MacUser's avatar

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE TRY HONESTY! Here is the best way... Get HER to dump you! It's s-o-o stinkin' easy! This is what you do... Get extremely clingy & needy. In short order, she'll be saying "Look, this just isn't working out... Let's just be friends." The beauty is this: she'll think it's HER idea!

txcub420's avatar

Wow MacUser. That's some terrible advice for too many reasons to lie. Life isn't a Seinfeld rerun.

txcub420's avatar

"...for too many reasons to list," I meant.

MacUser's avatar

Oh really? Well just start with the first five then.

It is excellent advice. Life is not a "Sleepless In Seattle" sequel.

MacUser's avatar

and, for the record, I didn't say "lie". I merely stated "don't try honesty"... A subtle, yet important difference.

gailcalled's avatar

A useful poem (that is a parody of Wm Carlos Wms' THIS IS JUST TO SAY)

%u201CThis Is Just to Say%u201D
Erica-Lynn Gambino
(for William Carlos Williams)
I have just
asked you to
get out of my
apartment
even though
you never
thought
I would
Forgive me
you were
driving
me insane

gailcalled's avatar

Wm Carlos Wms' poem: http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15535

(For the record, usually the hot and fierce sexual attraction in a relationship mutes after about 36 months. It turns into something calmer and comfortable but nice, JTS.)

MacHacker's avatar

this one already muted after 3

gailcalled's avatar

Oh, dear. Time to deal w. your feelings. [Predictings hers will be impossible, but, I assure you, she will let you know.) Maybe you let this go on too long; don't torture both of you any longer. We all have been both the breaker-up-withs and the breakees.Neither is pleasant, but is a part of life, like a good job or a terrible one.

gooch's avatar

got to make her break up with you by being boring not wanting to do anything

weaselope's avatar

no wine and no cunnilingus

Islandbrother77's avatar

If you want to do it and not be confrontational, you may want to consider using a site called BreakUpEasy.com. It’s free, not too over the top, and they send the break up themselves on your behalf. Check it out, it’s pretty hilarious.

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