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SilentlyLogical's avatar

Help for a friend...

Asked by SilentlyLogical (134points) July 16th, 2008 from iPhone

Alright… So my friend is a shy guy. And also totally blind on the eyes of love. He never realizes someone has a crush on him until the opportunity has passes for him to ask them out. And of he does realize it, he’s too shy to ask them out… Do you have any tips for him that I can give him about overcomming his shyness, and how to impress a girl??

he’s a smart, funny guy once he opens up to you… He’s just extermly shy around people he doesn’t know.

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12 Answers

marinelife's avatar

Well, if you are his friend, you can alert him if someone is showing interest. You could also bring that person into his circle without any pressure. Once he relaxes a little bit around her, you could tell him then and suggest he ask her out.

scamp's avatar

Good idea Marina. Maybe you can arrange for a double date with your friend to help him out!

stevenb's avatar

@silentlylogical, you’ve got my twin for a friend apparently. That is me exactly. I’ve been working on that for 37 years. My biggest tip would be to tell him what you think, bolster his confidence, and maybe a little help to recognize when someone likes him. I still don’t have a clue and my wife will look at me and say that someone was totally flirting with me, but I just don’t see it. Best of luck, and great question. I will watch to see if I can learn something myself!

SilentlyLogical's avatar

@stevenb, you have an 18 year old twin…

Well he was confident about this one girl. She kept staring at him at lunch. I decided to check with one of her close friends, and indeed she was crushing on him. So the day I was gonna tell him, she made her move, walked over to our table, said a nervous hi and quickly retreated to her lunch table. That sent him into his shy shell. Three weeks later he had worked up the guts to ask her out. I watched him get up from our lunch table and start the walk towards hers. As soon as he kept on walking and sat with a friend woo tables away from her, I knew something was up. When he came back to our table, he said he saw the friend mouthing the word “abort” and went to see what’s up. The friend told him that she had been asked out THAT MORNING. He was crushed.

Three months later, her relationship with the guy appeared to be on the rocks. My friend noted that she had started to stare at him again. He asked aloud if he should see what he could do to secretly make them break up, so he could ask her out. He said he would be mercily killing the relationship instead of watching her go through this heartbreak. Our friend sitting next to me said if he skrewed with the relationship, she’d tell the girl that he saboutaged it. So he gave up on the girl.

SilentlyLogical's avatar

** continuation**

And now, 5 months later, we’ve learned that 11 people would have stood up to this friend for him if she got in the way if he attempted to speed up the break up.

stevenb's avatar

Yuck. I feel for you, and him. He needs to try what I do sometimes. Just ACT confident. Pretend if you will. When I get in situations now that make me nervous, I cat confident, and people take it as real confidence. He just needs to practice this and in time he will start to BE confident. It has helped me, even though I still am my shy self a lot of the time.

sndfreQ's avatar

Watch the movie “Swingers” with your friend :) It’s a good study into this problem, which is not uncommon.

srtlhill's avatar

#1 Dont try to impress anyone, be yourself that way if she does like you it’s because of you. You can’t rush love someone is out there for your friend and he will meet his one. Keep helping with his confidence though maybe you could try role reversal to show him skills he could use to break the ice.

SilentlyLogical's avatar

@sndfreQ: His kind of movies are either fast paced action or comical. I don’t think I can get him to willingly watch a documentary.

marinelife's avatar

@SlinetlyLogical It’s a comedy. Here is the IMDB reference.

SilentlyLogical's avatar

Srtlhill: I seriously believe she was the one. She was dead perfect for him. And now that we’re freshmen in college and she’s in highschool, he has no way to see if she becomes single.

srtlhill's avatar

No problem. This is the true test. Distance and inconvience will make it or break it. Remember they are the ones that have to believe this is meant to be otherwise it’s a big world out there. If something is truly worth fighting for those two will over come all obsticles to be together. I’d say time will tell but you shouldn’t have to fence a loved one in, they always come home. Best wishs

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