Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Do people truly put less thought into choosing their mate as they would a vehicle, residence, job, etc.?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26821points) October 27th, 2015

Based on some of the responses to this question, it appears to me some people put more discerning into which vehicle, residence, or job to take than who to share a life and go boinking with. To say ”I want someone who is kind, likes animals, has a sense of humor and can make me laugh” sounds good, but all that nebulous poppycock sounds like someone who would make a statement or comment along those lines either don’t know what they truly want, or not admitting who they want, if they are not even in denial. To choose someone who makes you laugh and has a good personality but he is only 5ft 3in, does that meant you will settle for the lack in height when you really wanted someone 5ft 10in are taller? Because she is witty with a nice smile and cooks good, are you going to settle because has two missing teeth, or a prosthetic leg? When have you known someone to go house hunting and they said if they see something that looks nice from the curb, they will buy that taking no account it has only three bedrooms and they need five, or it has no AC or it backs up to a plant manufacturing gypsum so every day the house will get powdered in white dust if you open the window? If you take into consideration the long haul in a home or vehicle shouldn’t you get to the brass tacks with a relationship; I mean it is more important than something you drive, right?

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12 Answers

Seek's avatar

Most of us test-drive our cars before buying them. Marrying a list of demands of what you think you’ll love is all well and good, until you find out your contortionist has a joint disorder and loses that magical ability 6 months into the marriage, or gets breast cancer and loses those perfect pencil test tits. Will you still love Checklist Babe when she no longer fulfills the requirements?

And there are people who literally do not care what a person’s outer appearance is, when it comes to romance.

Human sexuality and love is a very broad spectrum. Some people can only love people they are sexually attracted to. Some people can only be sexually attracted to people they love. Still others may feel sexual attraction without any thought of love, and some may love without any thought of sex at all.

Seek's avatar

And if you’ve ever spent any length of time in the sex industry, whether as a participant or a consumer, you should know that literally goddamn anything is someone’s kink. Missing teeth and amputations are way on the vanilla end of that game.

Stinley's avatar

I think a lot of people buy big stuff on impulse. You even hear them saying that they just fell in love with it. I guess there is no rationalising love whether for your new car, house or lover. I wouldn’t say that it’s sensible and personally, for a big decision, I would spend a lot of time thinking before making a final decision.

jerv's avatar

You forgot to mention those who split the difference and have sex with cars. (That link is a news article; it’s safe)

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Seek Most of us test-drive our cars before buying them
That used to be called dating or courting, it has changed greatly from what it was.

Marrying a list of demands of what you think you’ll love is all well and good,…]
Had I injected marriage someone would surely have asked me what century I am living in. These days people are content to test drive the car until the wheels fall off or they tire of it; so long as the dealer never ask if they are ready to buy, they seldom are.

[…until you find out your contortionist has a joint disorder and loses that magical ability 6 months into the marriage, or gets breast cancer and loses those perfect pencil test tits. Will you still love Checklist Babe when she no longer fulfills the requirements?
You get the car of your dreams, you drive it, you personalize it, lock in your favorite stations, then you park at the big box and when you come out you find someone as creased your car from front to back while backing out. The car still functions but the appearance suffered. If you really cared, or it was an easy fix, you correct it. If you don’t have the money you are not going to ditch your car, but you may not find as much excitement looking at that side of it or washing it. Once I put a ring on it, I am all in, the only way out is when I have a toe tag.

If (God forbid) hubby passes away or has an accident and you are not a widow, and somehow you also land a job where you telecommute; you conduct business by phone, email and such. One of the men you deal with in the course of a job appeals to you by the way he speaks on the phone and through emails and text. You take the leap and as him for lunch or something because he will be traveling through. You get to the diner or wherever and you see him, he is 5’ 6” tall, all but 135lb, bald with a unibrow. Does his conversation still leave you excited no matter how he appears?

And there are people who literally do not care what a person’s outer appearance is, when it comes to romance.
Honestly now, is that you, or how he looks will come into play? But going with that, it means I can appear as a troglodyte and as long as I stimulated her mind, I could be a 2 and she a 10 and land her hard.

Human sexuality and love is a very broad spectrum. Some people can only love people they are sexually attracted to. Some people can only be sexually attracted to people they love. Still others may feel sexual attraction without any thought of love, and some may love without any thought of sex at all.
The days we live in (at least here in the States) sex is mostly a commodity, something you do as part of the dating process; it has little bearing to the success of a relationship. It is maybe why so many fail, because it is anchored off sex, and when it goes, so does the relationship. Again, going with that train of thought, no matter how detailed I am, there is a she out there who has only very few areas that need be satisfied and I am in like Flynn, it matters not if I equal her in societally perceived attractiveness. I would be after a relationship first, sex would just be a part of it. If it were just about sex, I could care less about her personality, or even how she looked, as long as she was not mud duck ugly and had a decent enough banging body that would be all that mattered; not like I will spend much time with her doing ”people stuff”. To approach it any other way would be……illogical.

@Stinley I think a lot of people buy big stuff on impulse.
The biggest stuff, home, car, boat, etc. usually get scrutinized no matter how much a person loved it when they first see it. They do consider mileage, maintenance cost, safety, interest rates on the finance, the utility of how it serves their need, etc. I don’t care how cute that two bedroom two car garage house look, if a person KNOW they need a 5 bedroom, three car garage house with An ample back yard for their two dogs, they are not going to take the small house that won’t serve the need are matter how quaint it is and how much they like it.

Stinley's avatar

@hc. Some people do scrutinise, some people definitely don’t. It’s a broad spectrum.

Seek's avatar

I’m a statistical outlier, Hypo. I’m demisexual. I cannot feel sexual attraction – for anyone no matter how pretty – until I have an emotional attachment. It also means that I can be sexually attracted to a wide range of people. If I love them, they are sexy. End of story.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

Well, I think we rationalize our relationship choices in very complex ways. In the end Biology with a capitol “B” rules the day. There are outliers but overall men look for fertility and women look for resources. It’s a shallow game that few of us will win at.

ragingloli's avatar

I am sure there are people who categorise people as things to own.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

I think they are more objective about buying some thing than choosing a mate.

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

And why not, where I’m from cars seem to outlast relationships by a large margin

ucme's avatar

So long as she looks good & is a good ride, but enough about my car…

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