Social Question

janbb's avatar

Would you bring the soup?

Asked by janbb (55357points) October 30th, 2015

A close guy friend is moving homes today and I’ll probably stop by to see the new place. His girlfriend is helping him move. I thought I’d bring a tin of cookies from the freezer and a six-pack. Thought of bringing some homemade minestrone for him too but is that too much? Too girlfriendy a gesture? As I write this, I’m thinking it is but would be curious about other opinions.

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28 Answers

Seek's avatar

If they’re moving house, they likely don’t have plans for dinner beyond pizza and Chinese takeout. Homemade soup would be a godsend, in my opinion.

If you’re concerned about appearing gauche, you could call ahead and offer to bring dinner over, rather than springing it as a surprise. Then you’re helping, not gifting.

janbb's avatar

Well, I know he goes out to a gig tonight where he’ll be fed so they probably don’t need supper for tonight. But that’s a good thought. (GF doesn’t live with him.)

elbanditoroso's avatar

I don’t know you or your friend, but after a hard days work, minestrone seems, well, not hearty.

A big thick bowl of chili… that’s hearty.

Seek's avatar

I’m the opposite. After a hot day at work, I prefer light meals. But I’m weird.

janbb's avatar

@elbanditoroso He’s a vegetarian and the minestrone is made. My question is more about whether it’s an appropriate gesture or too much rather than the menu.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

It sounds like a very thoughtful gesture. The only thing to consider is if he will have access to bowls and spoons. If you have any disposable ones handy, it might be worth tucking them in as well.

ibstubro's avatar

You know what? Please yourself.

If it will bring you pleasure to make a pot of minestrone and and share it, do that.
He’s a close friend. He’ll know that you enjoyed the making as much as the giving.

It’s cool here. I imagine it is where you are too. I can’t think of anything much more satisfying than making a steaming pot of soup.
You’ve convinced me. I’m off to the store.

jca's avatar

Is the gf cool or jealous type?

janbb's avatar

@jca Good question. I’ve only met her a few times. Not sure.

Turns out it’s “no soup for you” anyway. Old tenant is not actually out of the place so he’s not in yet so not going down.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Take the soup. It’s nice. If the girlfriend acts weird, that is a reflection of her and not your gift. (And yes, I know the question is moot now.)

Adagio's avatar

@janbb in my opinion you’re overthinking this, it’s a friendly gesture, go for it. Oops, it pays to read to the end of the thread first : ^)

janbb's avatar

@Adagio I overthink everything!

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t think you have to worry about it being to girlfriendy if that’s your concern.

I probably wouldn’t bring soup, I’d more likely bring pasta of some sort, but if you brought me minestrone I’d be thrilled. Yum.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I have a good friend who cooks soup professionally at a natural food store in LA. He’s very good at it.

I think I know what’s for dinner.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Next time, if you get the opportunity again, but you’re worried about what his girlfriend might think, hand it to her and say you thought they could both use it. Or just don’t worry about it and hand it to him, anyway. I think, because he’s a close friend, it won’t be a big deal.

janbb's avatar

@DrasticDreamer Since I didn’t go today, that’s a good idea if it does come up.

ibstubro's avatar

Thanks, @janbb. I’ve got chicken boiling on the stove for chicken and noodles tomorrow.

No, I don’t eat chicken, and won’t partake of the noodles. Like you, I’ll be gifting them to friends.

A whole chicken, an onion, a carrot and a stalk of celery on boil. Damn, it smells nice in here!

janbb's avatar

@ibstubro I’ve eaten no meat for a week now. I experiment with vegetarianism at times. Not ready to say I won’t eat meat again – I will – but looking to seriously cut back.

ibstubro's avatar

I think that’s a healthy choice, @janbb.
I stopped eating meat for both digestive and morality issues. I’m not a ‘save the world’ type that feels like that makes me superior to everyone else, however. I cook and serve meat and try to make as responsible choices as possible when buying it.
It pleases me that I’ll be using 4-H project eggs in the noodles.
Amazing how hard it is to buy local milk, here in the heart of the heartland.
Also known as the buckle of the Bible belt.

Buttonstc's avatar

@ibstubro

Are you familiar with

www.localharvest.org

If you put in your zip code, it brings up a listing for all the family farms, farmers markets and other sources for locally grown/produced products in your area.

There might be a small family farm near you that you might have been unaware of.

This is the site which I’ve used every time I’ve moved to locate fresh farm eggs near me. The ones sold in most supermarkets are tasteless. Yuk.

ibstubro's avatar

Thanks, @Buttonstc.
I plugged in and there were some I was familiar with, some I was not.

Eggs seem to be the easiest thing for me to find…there are roadside signs all around. I like the 4-H eggs especially, because it’s helping farm kids, too.

Buttonstc's avatar

How do you find where the 4-H eggs are sold? Do they put up signs or advertise in some way? I don’t think I’ve ever sen any signs specifically for 4-H anywhere.

ibstubro's avatar

Oh, no.
The antique mall where I have a booth bought a little dorm-sized fridge and they keep it stocked with 4-H eggs. They pay $2, sell them for $2.25.

I’m in a rural area and there are general “Eggs for sale” signs all about. Just people that keep chickens. Sometimes the neighbor gives me a dozen free. :-)

Buttonstc's avatar

Lucky you. Around here eggs from the farmer are around $4 per dozen (but still worth it)

Seek's avatar

Hell, around here a dozen eggs from Wal-Mart are $3. $4 for farm eggs sounds like a deal.

jca's avatar

As for would I bring the soup, unless I were friends with the girlfriend, I would steer clear. If she’s the jealous type, I wouldn’t want to be the cause of any tension. Not that you can’t all be friends in the future, but I wouldn’t just pop in under those circumstances.

janbb's avatar

@jca This had been an invite from him but your point is well-taken.

ibstubro's avatar

I know people paying $1.50 for farm eggs. I just like the 4-H angle while it lasts.

Take the soup.
“I hope you two enjoy it half as much as I enjoyed making it.”
You’ve made it a selfish gesture. Just don’t take something you’re not willing to share the recipe for.

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