General Question

charliecompany34's avatar

Who do you think you are?

Asked by charliecompany34 (7793points) July 25th, 2008

Hmmph! the audacity! well, are you audacious or are you destined or determined? you conquered the odds to get where you are today. you raised eyebrows as you pursued your dream. does “thinking” who you are make you who you are?

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83 Answers

sndfreQ's avatar

I’m not sure in my case, if it’s somehow related to my astrological sign (Gemini-if for nothing else than the entertainment value), or due to other external issues, but I always seem to believe that I have two sides to my self-perception (which ultimately influences my personality): the extroverted, “orange”, “out of the box” adventurer type, always vying for dynamism; and an introverted, sometimes morose worrier and indecisive analyzer (OCD for sure)...

I find that with my energy level, my two “sides” are sometimes at odds with one another, while sometimes are in a rhythmic “ebb and flow.” At any rate, I feel it’s what best describes my “rhythm” for life. I’m just now learning how to deal with this (35 years into the journey), and learning to just breathe and go with the flow.

BTW, great question and wording (which drew me in to your discussion! Keep ‘em coming!) Thanks charliecompany34!

rockstar's avatar

I believe thinking who you or where you want to be does effect your future. If you invision accomplishing something in the future then you are more likely to work towards that goal. Even if present situations try to bring you down or may discourage you. I think when people stop dreaming about their future that is when they give up on life.

qashqai's avatar

I love to think by objectives. That’s why I don’t like to think to who am I, rather I concentrate on who I want to be in the very next future. Then, if I am good/lucky enough to reach my objective, I move on to the next.
Always looking ahead, as rockstar underlined, is vital. And I believe most of us do it in the everyday life. Think about driving your car. If you focus on the nose of the car you are certainly going to crash at the first curve. Instead you should always look towards the end of the curve itself, and the car will go in the exact same direction you are looking for.

AstroChuck's avatar

I’m a Superstar!

wildflower's avatar

I’d like to think I’m original, but after reading sndfreQ’s and AstroChuck’s responses, I realize I am not (sob).
But I am an ever-changing, indecisive, ambitious, driven, lazy, opportunistic, pessimistic, critical, open and utterly confusing weed…..

: I don’t mean “weed” in the pothead sense (despite what my current avatar may suggest), but as in stuff that grows in the weirdest places without roots

Traveosa's avatar

I can be a bit a bit hyper-active at times.

flameboi's avatar

“you raised eyebrows as you pursued your dream”
This is exactly what describes who I am, everyone is like this crazy kid, what the hell is he doing then after I accomplish what I was chasing, specially the crazy stuff, everyone is like how far is he going? My dreams become in short and mid term objectives that will lead me to long term objectives, I do everything in my hands to reach my objectives, I reward myself for doing that and if I have to keep going and falling and start over again, I’ll just do it :) “Live the dream, all the way to the end” (r).

Harp's avatar

“does “thinking” who you are make you who you are?”

I find that for many people the opposite is true, namely that ideas about who they aren’t keep them from being what they could be. For every person who has a grandiose vision of their destiny, there are several who are constrained by self-imposed limitations, notions of what’s beyond their abilities, and fears about exploring those limits.

Even if we don’t approach life with the assumption that we can do anything, we owe it to ourselves not to assume that we can’t until we give it our best shot.

Dog's avatar

I think I am dual.

The part of me that is most visible to those who know me is a private person of passion and determination. I focus on goals till I meet or exceed them. I keep my exhibit obligations though at times public exposure is aided by a drink to take the edge off.

But part of me is- and always will be- still 18 and driving all night in the first car I bought chasing adventure and daring fate completely un-caged.

marinelife's avatar

I am passionate. I am a leader. I care deeply for others. Many people miss my sensitive and vulnerable side. I am at my best when I just do it and do not let my inner fears hold me back.

elchoopanebre's avatar

I like to sit around.

poofandmook's avatar

Each one of us is a brain… and an athlete… and a basket case… a princess… and a criminal. Does that answer your question?

heehee

loser's avatar

I’m a loser.

marinelife's avatar

@loser Oh, no. Really, you are not. I read your posts on Fluther, and I can tell that you are not. I can see that you are a thoughtful, bright, caring person. Please work on not viewing yourself that way.

tinyfaery's avatar

@poof Nice

I, again, agree with harp (I have to start getting up earlier). I hate compliments, because they never coincide with how I feel about myself. I think people see me very differently than how I see myself. They don’t know all the fucked-up-shit that goes on inside my head, or maybe they just ignore it. Unfortunately, I can’t.

scamp's avatar

What’s my name again????

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

I think that I’m obsessed with Tim Curry

loser's avatar

Yes. Yes I do believe you are.

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

@loser: So do I. I’m really not ashamed to admit it.

charliecompany34's avatar

and at the end of day, the saying still goes “you are who you eat.” same applies when you strive toward your dreams. live them out in real life and in real time and you will become “the goal.”

wanderer's avatar

I know who I am. I’m just a tiny cog in the wheel of life. I do my job (RN) as best I can and try to go the extra mile. I dont give a s—- what any one thinks of me, I know that it is pointless to sit around worrying about yourself, rather get out and help others and you wont have time to try that self- analysis crap. Besides, we only live once so do try and have fun rather than sit around angsting.

wildflower's avatar

@wanderer
Your philosophy is interesting. Not giving a sh!t what others think – yet wanting to get out and help others. You don’t want any self analysis, but want to have fun – how do you know what you consider fun, if you don’t take the time to listen to yourself?
I’m confused….but then, I often am!

poofandmook's avatar

@FranknFurter: My good friend kissed Tim Curry. LOL

sndfreQ's avatar

@poof: you don’t realize what you just got yourself into!... ;)

poofandmook's avatar

@snd: Should I hide under my desk?

sndfreQ's avatar

Futile ;). Prepare thyself…

poofandmook's avatar

@snd: It was strictly business, if that helps soften the blow. or if it even makes any sense LOL

scamp's avatar

Oh God!! here we go!!!

poofandmook's avatar

@ Mrs_Dr: My friend is an actor who has done Broadway. His first show was called “The Goat or Who Is Sylvia?” By Edward Albee, and he was cast first as the son, Billy. Tim Curry was audtioning for the part of the father. Part of the audition was the scene where the son and the father kiss. So, my friend had to kiss Tim Curry. The part was given to Bill Pullman instead, however. My friend is Jeffrey Carlson, and he did indeed do that play… check the website. http://www.jeffrey-carlson.com. LOL if you don’t believe that, it’s not my problem.

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

@Scamp: who said that I was going to get into this.
@Poof: Ok. Great. I honestly don’t care

scamp's avatar

@Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter You just did!

poofandmook's avatar

@Mrs_Dr: What is your problem? That was just flat-out nasty. Get some manners.

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

I told you I’m not interested in what you have to say. I’ve bet you’ve done that quite a few times Poof and don’t say you haven’t because I know that everyone has. So don’t dish that out to me. End of discussion for me

poofandmook's avatar

I bet you really get off being young and rebellious and nasty, but it doesn’t really impress anybody.

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

why are you being so rude to me?

scamp's avatar

That’s a question you should be asking yourself. You have done this several times. You jump into a thread, jack it with your nonsense about Tim Curry, then when someone calls you on it you put your nose in the air and run away acting like the victim. Enough is enough already.

richardhenry's avatar

[Fluther Moderator:] Let’s be nice. Yay! Everyone is getting along now.

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

then stop talking! I’m sorry to all fluther moderators, but I have had enough with you lot (not the moderators but everyone else)! Have you looked at some of my threads? do you see Tim Curry mentioned? NO!!! Look, I get enough crap at my OWN HOUSE let alone with you lot! Do you know how much it hurts to hear you say this to me? Do you know what I have gone through my whole life? constantly being harrassed by other kids, even in kindergarden I was harrassed. 1st grade, it got worst, thencame 2nd and 3rd AWFUL! Then I switched schools. It got better, but it still never went away. then it followed me to the 6th grade. I almost committed suicide because of it. I was in the councler’s office EVERYDAY because of the torture I went through. My parents thought that maybe if I went to a Christian school it would go away. So I did, but they were WRONG It was still there. now I am in 9th grade going into 10th and it’s still there. I have had to tell the principal numerous times because of it. I go to a shrink because of it. I have a hard enough time with the other kids, and now I have you so called mature adults doing it to me!!! Do you know how hurtful that is? Do you know that it makes me want to trust people even less? My bus driver (or as you know him, Cardinal) even teases me. I will NEVER EVER get away from it! you know maybe I’ll just quit this site. how do you delete an account?

scamp's avatar

Thank you richardhenry for jumping in.

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

Just thought I would let you know that I am crying right now

richardhenry's avatar

[Fluther Moderator:] I didn’t mean that in a derogatory manner. I just think that if you didn’t respond to flammable comments, then things would be less stressful. I’m being serious; ignore people sometimes. You are you and nobody can take that away, and you don’t need to answer to them either.

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

I just can’t take it. how do you delete an account?

richardhenry's avatar

[Fluther Moderator:] Perhaps you should take a break to think about it…? If you’ve really made your mind up, use the contact link to speak with Ben, Andrew and Erik. They will take care of your request. :(

richardhenry's avatar

[Fluther Moderator:] :(

tinyfaery's avatar

@Mrs. From the small snippet above I’d say you need to seek some therapy. My quick diagnosis is OCD along with a social disorder. Trying to kill yourself is never ok. This addiction to Tim is not a positive in your life, it actually seems to be alienating you from your peers and your family. Please seek help.

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

richard. I know that apparently you are sad, but I think it is best for me and the other lot

Didn’t you read it all? I AM going to a shrink because of it. and it isn’t alienating or whatever from my family. My sister just hates me and my parent are just…I don’tknow. Anything that I do to my sister, whether it’s asking how her work was or just starting a conversation, it always ends up in a fight. she has hit me before leaving a red mark that lasted for three days.

cage's avatar

@ Mrs, I just GA’d your outburst… reason, it’s not a piss take, I understand how it feels when you reach a head, I had a massive go at my mate last night, and about how he knew nothing about me, trust me I know how it feels when you get people making assumptions about you. I’ve done counseling. It works, you should do it too :)

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

I’m past that. I’m just going to leave this site

tinyfaery's avatar

@Mrs You can’t blame your reactions to the world on other people. Your life will never get better until you realize you are in control, and take responsibility for who you are, and the actions you take. In other words, its not others, its you.

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

I know it’s the others, that’s why I want to get away from them

tinyfaery's avatar

Its you. Its very hard to stop blaming others and start looking at oneself; personal responsibility is a bitch. But I am not your therapist. If you want to leave go ahead. You can run away from everything for the rest of you life, or you can stay and fight for yourself; dare to be great; dare to live a life that’s satisfying and happy; dare to to fight your demons, and come out victorious.

Good luck!

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

No I just dare to help get rid of at least SOME of the people that are rude to me, and if I leave this then I am

cage's avatar

@tinyfaery, I don’t think saying its you is strictly true.
When I was at counseling I eventually discovered, it is those around me, and even if I don’t like what those people are saying, then I just have to deal with it in my own way. I’t hard to describe, because I know that sounds like it’s me, but it really isn’t and I can see where Mrs is coming from.

scamp's avatar

Please read how things progress in this thread and tell me you don’t see the same pattern.

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter , I’m sorry you are troubled. I really am. But if you have tantrums because someone said something you don’t paticularly like, it won’t do much to help your cause. Please re-read this thread, and the one I reference with the link, and you will see what I am talking about.

People can disagree, and quite frequently do here. It doesn’t mean that you or anyone else is being picked on or singled out. When you were rude to poof by saying Ok. Great. I honestly don’t care after she told you a story about Tim curry, things went downhill from there.

Maybe the best thing to do is leave a thread and cool down if it bothers you too much. But if you are going to throw a tantrum in a thread, you should prepare yourself for the fallout. tinyfaery gives you some excellent advice here. Spend some quiet time and reflect on it. I wish you well.

loser's avatar

@frank: I swear I didn’t mean what I said in a bad way. Sorry, if you’re still here to read this…

poofandmook's avatar

You know, I had a pretty troubled life myself. Which is exactly why I act in here the same way I would act to anybody in my physical presence. If someone says something snobby that isn’t called for, the gloves are off. I will then tell you exactly what I think and why I think it. I sympathize with you, I really do. You’re a freshman in high school; I could tell you stories about my freshman year that would curl your hair. But don’t blame other people because you haven’t been able to cope with things the way you would’ve liked to. Self responsibility is the hardest and most important thing about growing up. You don’t become an adult the day you turn 18. You become an adult the day you realize that while you can’t control what happens around you, that you and only YOU can control yourself and the outcome of your life.

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

@scamp: I’m not throwing a tantrum. Does this honestly sound like a tantrum? to me it sounds like I’m leaving for good and not a tantrum. A tantrum is temporary. what I’m about to do is forever (leave, not commit suicide).

@Loser: Thank you but it doesn’t change my mind

tinyfaery's avatar

@Mrs. Sorry, but you keep saying you are going to leave, but them keep posting. What gives?

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

I thought I would finish up this conversation.

tinyfaery's avatar

Ok. Its not just because you want us to convince you to stay?

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

hell no. even if you wanted me to stay, you’re chance is over

richardhenry's avatar

What a silly conversation this turned out to be.

Dog's avatar

I agree Richardhenry.

sndfreQ's avatar

@Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter: First of all, you are the one that chose to respond to this thread (in case anyone forgot, it was asked by charliecompany34, “Who do you think you are?”). As in many other threads, you have made it abundantly clear who you are to us, and you need to understand that no one here is judging you for it. Yet somehow, this thread is now all about you

Whether you see this as advice, a rant, or just a response, or whatever…I’m not speaking to you or the community as a mod, but as a (somewhat concerned) fellow Flutherer here. Whatever happens to you, me, or whatever, I’m prepared to take the heat (I’m a big boy). I hope that you take what I’m about to say to you with an open heart and mind though.

You should know that, in cyberspace and in real life, you get what you give; in the case of this thread and many others here, it’s you that chooses to bring your self-proclaimed Obsession with Tim Curry to a venue where people are naturally going to talk and be openly critical of your pathological issues; naturally, you have to be prepared to deal with the consequences of this…it’s just the way of the world. It would be the same for a 13-year old as it would for a 39-year old; your age or maturity doesn’t single you out.

You and I (and others) know that today’s rant is not the first, and it’s not the first time you’ve threatened the community with leaving. I for one regard this as a “poor me” kind of response, and it’s a pattern that you seem to exploit and amplify it into some sort of witch hunt on you, when it’s just a conversation to begin with, and that’s all it is…seriously. It just seems that here, you take these opportunities when people interact with you (almost always in the spirit of light-hearted humor) and turn them into these witch hunt scenarios, which is in the end just a real downer for everyone involved.

In this thread for example, everyone involved has taken great pains to point out that NO ONE was attacking you for your interest or for who you are; yet, you managed to turn the thread to appear that you’re being made to be a victim, by turning something innocuous into a rant that places you as the victim and makes everyone out to be attacking you. Frankly, it’s pathetic to see others back paddling, coddling you with apologies and explanations, and massaging your ego, for what?

Then you bring the issue of suicide, and guilt us into believing that somehow we’re accountable for your feelings and thoughts? I think this is extremely unfair and judgmental, and it troubles me to see that it gets to the point of becoming harassing to others who are merely trying to support you and make you feel welcome to the site and community. It’s just not a healthy way to deal with a situation, and it makes me uncomfortable to see it happen time and time again.

In this thread, that you said that you never talk about T.C. in your own threads; come on, really? The dreams and aspirations of celebrityhood and all that goes with being the future Mrs. Curry is something that you flaunt quite openly and frequently, in your threads and in others (this one is a perfect example), and people call you on it-that’s just how I see it. Most of the time, we’re going along with you and having fun, but it seems that somehow, depending on the weather, or a whim, you seem to take offense to seemingly innocuous comments that are not attacks (in most cases).

Just playing devil’s advocate (for a moment), and let’s say that, one day, you do become the significant other of Mr. Tim Curry. If constant criticism, judgment, gossip, trash talk, and rumor-milling is not your cup of tea, then maybe your aspirations of living a life in the celebrity limelight are not in your best interest? All celebrities and their personal lives, preferences, feelings, communications, and outward expressions are “fair game” for the paparazzi, the press, and anyone willing to dish out some dirt. Are you prepared for that kind of lifestyle?

Getting back to my original point, that of you’re decision to leave or stay-I think that if you do decide to stay, you need to take a look at how you treat others on this site…it’s a community and I’d like to think that ideally, we tend to look out for each other. I have on a couple of occasions been there for you to support you in threads, whether tech oriented or otherwise, and I have to say that your communication style (with me) is a real turn-off; after spending time researching, explaining, assisting, all I get from you are smarmy, short quips like “that doesn’t help me” or no thanks or acknowledgment at all…I’m not bringing this up to upset you, it’s just my observation; you and I just don’t seem to “click” socially, but I’m not going to lose any sleep over it, and I certainly don’t take it personally.

Truth is, ultimately, we’re just a bunch of strangers here on this site, and no one is any more or less important, or better, or worse for the wear. Yet, you seem to think that your particular interest in Mr. Curry positions you in both of these states, to the point where you turn the impersonal into personal, to the point where you make others feel unappreciated or that they’re targeting you for your beliefs. It’s not a healthy outlook and certainly not productive for anyone involved.

You and I both know that people come and go on this site, and even for a moderator like myself, in the end, it’s just a way to share the experience of communing with others and sharing knowledge and having fun. On a personal level, it’s not any skin off my back to see you go (or for me to go for that matter), but if you choose to stay, you’ll just need to grow some thicker skin and learn to deal with it, or else you’ll continue to view yourself as a victim and people will continue to call you on it…it just becomes cyclic, and people tire of it rather quickly.

Maybe it would be best for you to take some time off from the site (a little breather), if participating in it seems to make you feel alienated or misunderstood or somehow provokes anxiety for you; maybe where you’re at in your personal and social development is a place where you’re not ready for this level of socialization.

Also, don’t rule out the possibility that maybe you lack the maturity to be able to parse out the difference between sharing of knowledge/information and having lighthearted conversation; there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s the reason why there are social groups in real life and on the internet that are aimed at narrow groups and demographics (for example, teen-oriented sites, or fan-oriented sites). You should know that here at least, it isn’t anyone’s intent to judge you for who you are or who you believe yourself to be-especially not from me.

That’s why I say you get what you give. Whether you learn that lesson here or in real life, you better get used to the idea, as it’s a big part of life. It’s something I’d tell my little sister (or daughter in your case, as you’re almost old enough)...hopefully someone in your face-to-face, day-to-day life can tell you the same.

Feel free to PM me if you need to chat or want to continue the conversation; I’ll try my best to be supportive.

~sndfreQ

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sndfreQ's avatar

@Comedian: You know I have taken this conversation private with you now; if you and your friend wish to discuss the matter further, that is the appropriate venue to continue.

To the rest of the group-please forgive my imposition on this thread. I still think it was a great question to begin with despite this unfortunate turn. My apologies to you all.

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richardhenry's avatar

Okay, let’s raise this Titanic two and a half miles and try to steer it back on topic.

I like qashqai’s response, about objectives. I tend to think like that. I’m sometimes lazy (and have terrible time keeping), but often have clear ideas about certain things I want to achieve and pursue them relentlessly.

It’s worked so far, which is good. But I’ve always managed to pursue the right thing. Being only 18, that might not last forever.

onesecondregrets's avatar

I have no idea, and it scares me.

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