Social Question

yaya0822's avatar

Should I text him first?

Asked by yaya0822 (0points) September 4th, 2016

So me and my boyfriend are in long distance relationship. Recently, I feel like he’s avoiding me? We used to text everyday, and before he goes to bed, he’ll say “goodnight i love you” etc. But a few days ago, he stopped saying “i love you” and when I text him, he says “I’m just about to go to bed.”
Now, he hasnt contacted me for 2 days. I get it if he needs space, but I’m not sure is it because he needs space or not. The last time I texted him, I told him I was going out with a male friend, I asked if he minded, he said he didn’t (however they are not in good terms tbh). I’m not sure if I should update him about what happened?
Should I text him first, or should I wait for him to text me first.

P.S. We contact each other through skype, so I know when he’s online or not… Thanks :)

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11 Answers

janbb's avatar

I’m fairly direct so I guess I would just come out and ask him if something was on his mind.

Mariah's avatar

^ Seconded, games are torture for everyone involved, just ask.

chyna's avatar

^I third that. Life is too short for games.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Ditto the above. Confirm your all too probable suspicions. You’ve already validated any that he might hold. Why not provide yourself the same clarity you have doled on him. Ask him the obvious question and get on with your life.

gorillapaws's avatar

I know this may sound like a radical idea to some, but why not CALL him? You can tell a hell-of-a-lot more by having a phone conversation with someone than texting…

jca's avatar

I agree with calling him not texting. Maybe he’s hiding something, who knows. I’d bring up the subject by saying “I feel like we’ve not been texting so much lately and I wanted to make sure everything is all right. You seemed a little distant.” Let him explain. Maybe he has something to tell you and it has been hard for him to bring it up. Maybe he wants to break up but instead of waiting around for him to tell you, be forthcoming and ask him straight out.

Inspired_2write's avatar

I suggest that you NOT text him.
He is either devestated that you included him in your desire to date another or he is thrilled tht you are finally moving on?
Reverse the situation and see yourself in his situation and he texts you about a girlfriend
( not you)?
How would you perceive that?( being dumpted?)

The two of you should had ironed out expectations before you entered into a long distance realtionship , of which by the way not many work out.

Telling someone that loves you that “Gosh, I love yu, but just in case…I am dating another?”
How would you feel?

janbb's avatar

@Inspired_2write She didn’t say she was dating someone else; she said she was going out with a male friend. That doesn’t mean a date.

Inspired_2write's avatar

yes I understand that..but wonder how he perceived it? That is the real issue.
She should wait until HE communicates, and stop chasing/pestering him..some take time to formulate an answer.

si3tech's avatar

@yaya0822 She said they communicate on skype. Could be just audio or video too. @janbb @Mariah @chyna all had good answers.I wish you well. Welcome to Fluther!

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