General Question

lakersfuture's avatar

What do you think makes a good relationship?

Asked by lakersfuture (69points) February 28th, 2009

I think my boyfriend and I have the best relationship. It started out as just good friends and then a month later we were dating. Five days later my sister passed away and he was there with me through the whole thing. I think one of the reasons that I love him so much is because we NEVER go to sleep angry and always talk things out… We have gone through some of the hardest things that couples will ever have to go through… what makes a good relationship for you?

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34 Answers

Vinifera7's avatar

One in which you can stand to be in each other’s presence for more than five minutes.

Darwin's avatar

Communication, mutual respect and common goals. Those are the things that last even when the body wears out.

Ownage's avatar

To me a good relationship is a nice ass and a great set of tits :)!!

bythebay's avatar

@lakersfuture: Wow, you got some really intelligent answers above ~ Anyway, a good relationship constitutes many things to many people. Congrats on finding and maintaining one yourself!

Blondesjon's avatar

Just find someone who shares your interests. I can’t count the number of couples I’ve seen break up after the “newness” of the relationship wore off and they realized they had nothing in common. I would also recommend not keeping secrets even if they seem harmless at the time. They will always come back and bite you in the ass.

and yeah…oral is a major plus for both parties…

lakersfuture's avatar

@bythebay yea well I kind of expected for some sick people to leave those comments. I personally don’t think that some of those people above have been in good relationships because if they did those things would have been secondary or not even an answer…

zephyr826's avatar

It’s also important to have your own lives. It’s so tempting to spend all of your time doing the same things, but you also need your own interests, if only to have new things to share with each other.

bythebay's avatar

@lakersfuture: To each his/her own. One girls prince is another girls pig – just be happy you’re in a good place.

lakersfuture's avatar

@bythebay I think that was the best way you can put it… and I am very thankful that I am in a good relationship…

tinyfaery's avatar

Mutual respect. In other words, NO double standards.

Acceptance of who the other truly is, with no desire or hope for change.

A good sense of humor, so small issues do not become unmanageable.

Sexual compatibility. We are sexual creatures, and the need should be satisfied.

This is a goo start.

marinelife's avatar

For the long term, I think common values are important. Supporting each other’s goals for the future. Enjoying some activities and interests together. Having other activities and interests of your own.

Being able to laugh together.

Having a good physical relationship.

bythebay's avatar

@tinyfaery: was the “goo” after the sexual satisfaction a subconscious slip? ;p

tinyfaery's avatar

Too hard to edit on iPhone.

galileogirl's avatar

That thing about not going to sleep angry gets harder after 40 when you can’t stay awake all night any more.

Blondesjon's avatar

This also sounds snide at first but my grandfather always said, “Cookin’ lasts, fuckin’ don’t.”

LKidKyle1985's avatar

err I started typing what I thought made a good marriage but then I realized we were talking about regular dating.
Anyways I think a good relationship has a good friendship as a foundation, thoughtfulness and openness to learn from each other. Also honesty is important, not just about being honest to the other person but with yourself and what you want. A good relationship can go bad pretty quick if it isn’t lining up with what you want and you are just too afraid to say something or end it.

lakersfuture's avatar

@LKidKyle1985 I agree I think that you have to find your best friend… I think that being able to relate and open up to someone is a great foundation for a great relationship as well… I think that one of the MOST important things is trust and honesty, if you can’t trust the person then what’s the point?

aprilsimnel's avatar

Good communication, which consists of both putting yourself aside enough to truly listen to what the other person is telling you, asking for clarification when things aren’t clear and putting your self out to the other person as clearly and honestly as you can.

Adina1968's avatar

A Mutual Sense of Humor

dragonflyfaith's avatar

@galileogirl Yes! We made that promise to each other in the beginning of our marriage and it’s really starting to come back to bite me. Since the birth of my son, I’ve been going to bed a lot earlier and I don’t want to stay up all night talking it out sometimes.

I agree with most of the serious answers above. It helps to be able to talk freely and equally. My husband and I no longer share as many interests as when we first met, but we have enough respect for each others individual tastes that it doesn’t matter.

AstroChuck's avatar

Honesty has to be at the top of the list.

Blondesjon's avatar

Best friend
On the same page
Walks in the park
Just be yourself
Open displays of affection
Be there for each other
Satisfy each others needs

galileogirl's avatar

@AstroChuck Are you OK, honey?

Yes, when things are tough you can deal with a lot more if you know your partner is honest and ethical.

tinyfaery's avatar

In my relationship we keep secrets, but only for something good, like surprises. A little mystery is titilating.

galileogirl's avatar

We are all hoping you mean secrets like a special meal or a secret account for a big birthday present, not a lover in the closet or a gambling addiction. lol

tinyfaery's avatar

So far so good, galileo.

tocutetolive90's avatar

It’s about being able to talk about anything and share anything. Just be able to lay around play games or do nothing and having the greatest time ever. And just be there for each other when things are bad and cheer each other up and to encourage each other for things they think they can’t do.

nebule's avatar

when you are both at a stable happy place in your life when you meet. Anything else is just a load of shite.

Jack79's avatar


what you mention is a very good recipe though. I had a gf like that once, all of her relationships have worked out because of this. No matter what happened during the day, she’d always make sure to get it sorted out by bedtime, and always end up having sex before sleep. The importance of this is that a fight is contained in one “off day”, rather than being drawn into the next day (and also registered in your dreams that night as a more permanent state).

No relationship can be constantly perfect, but if you have 25–28 good days in a month, that’s about as good as it gets.

My current gf is great in that she also tries to make up, even if it’s not her fault, and doesn’t keep a grudge. She always backs up, sometimes more than she needs to though. She’s been hurt in the past because of that. She values the relationship far more than her own individuality and self-esteem.

I have a different approach, though similar too: I may keep a grudge until the end of the day and spend some time alone or something, but the next day is always a fresh start, and no matter how it goes or how serious a fight may have been, I’ll always start anew every morning and act as if nothing’s happened. Usually we’ll sit down and try and resolve the issue quietly, but even if we can’t, I can isolate it as a minor exception to an otherwise great relationship and just accept that there was this one issue that wasn’t resolved and move on.

kevinhardy's avatar

loyalty, respect,treat one like they are only found in that moment,little things

BBQsomeCows's avatar

mutual interest AND mutual values
love (no, not lust, I wrote love)

bean's avatar

trust and respect, making each other as happy as you can. When you love their bad sides and good sides it will work.

thesuperherotwins's avatar

When you both trust each other not to be controlling and you love them enough to at least be nice to their kids. Oh he buys your favorite stuff when you sprain your ankle.

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