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Inspired_2write's avatar

Are Flutherites obligated to be on here everyday? What do you think is reasonable?

Asked by Inspired_2write (12783points) November 5th, 2016

I had been recently attacked for “popping my head ” in Fluther Forum once in a while?
Who said that I was obligated to “dance to another’s tune” so to speak.
How often do you go on Fluther, and why, and why not?
What is reasonable , what happened to free choice?
Tell me what you think in a positive frame of mind .
Please “no” negative answers, as these types never help anyone.

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25 Answers

Seek's avatar

I can’t even fathom who would suggest anyone is obligated to do anything around here. But if you’re having a private message tiff with another member, or someone is being a general abusive ass to you, report them to the Mods.

I’m here nearly every day, save for the year and a half or so hiatus I took, but I would say that’s more than I’d expect of anyone else. This should be fun, not work.

Jeruba's avatar

No one is obligated to be here, ever, for any length of time, great or small. It’s strictly voluntary and up to the individual participant.

Attacked? That makes no sense. I would just mentally tag that person as a jerk and avoid him or her in the future.

(If there were any development going on, I would still be keeping a blocking feature at the top of my wish list. There are some members whose comments I’m just better off not seeing.)

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Whenever you feel inclined to be here or are physically able to participate. Nobody is obligated to log in or contribute, and nobody should be harassed or denigrated because of their level of interaction.

ucme's avatar

It’s just a quiet corner of the internet, no one’s business but your own how often you or anyone else spends here, very odd.

zenvelo's avatar

There are no obligations. People come here to participate in a community.

Long time members, though, who are away for a while (as when they are on vacation or busy for a weekend away from the computer) are generally polite enough to ease back into conversations instead of barging in excoriating everyone, even though they have not been part of the evolution of collective thought on a subject.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Come when you feel like it. Don’t let anyone shame you.

Usually I’m here once a day, but when I’m traveling I can be absent for a week or more.

No obligations except what you put on yourself.

Berserker's avatar

There is no such rule. I hope whoever said that was joking, because if not they’re a veritable jerk basket.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@Inspired_2write “I have been recently attacked for ‘popping my head’ into Fluther once in a while.”

No, you weren’t. The answer you are referring to is here, and it is quite obvious that your anger caused you to misread it. You were not criticized for the infrequency of your visits to this site. In fact, you weren’t criticized at all. You were asked a question: what efforts have you put in to helping your son? The reference to you “popping in” from time to time was just a framing device to point out what the author seems to consider a discrepancy in your priorities. You berate people here for giving your son honest answers, but you won’t say what you have done to help him (or how other jellies might be better able to help him).

“Who said that I was obligated to ‘dance to another’s tune’ so to speak?”

No one has said that—not here, and not on the other question. Again, you have completely misread the answer you are responding to and have overreacted to it as a result of that misreading.

Sneki95's avatar


You come and go whenever the hell you want.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Asking me what I have done or not done is a personal question.
I do not feel comfortable giving this personal information to anyone is none of their business.
It just gives the viewer more fodder to get into personal issues .
I have spent years and continue to support my son .
How and when is of no concern to Flutherites.
My son has Professional assistance that is supporting him.
I am not enabling my son, but rather remain supportive in many ways other than just advice…and that is all that anyone should be privy too.
He requires supports that are positive and uplifting and those that can’t muster up that type of support are then not appropriate to resonate to his needs.
Respectful comments are required not recriminations.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Thanks for the affirmative support from most.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@Inspired_2write “I do not feel comfortable giving this personal information to anyone is none of their business.”

Then why don’t you say that to the person who asked instead of attacking him and presenting false information about what he said? Your son asked a question, and the jellies gave him their honest answers. Would you prefer that we lie to him? Would you prefer that we deceive him? Would you prefer that we contribute to his delusions when he seems to be working so hard to overcome them? You seem to interpret everything that is different from what you would do as negative. But one can be helpful without being soft.

Also, I think you owe @Darth_Algar an apology. You misinterpreted his answer, got angry at him for your own misinterpretation, and then asked a question targeting him based on that misinterpretation. I understand your drive to protect your son, but sometimes it leads you to make mistakes. This is one of those times. Be a good role model and show that you can be gracious when you are wrong.

Inspired_2write's avatar

@ Darth_Algar
I am sorry for the rant .
I however took offence when you asked “What I have done to help my son”?
It was a personal affront that assumes that I have done nothing to assist him when I have spent a lifetime and continue to support my son. Of course I will take offence to that.
My gut reaction was to counterattack and for that I am sorry.
I should had asked you questions instead.
Such as ” why would you assume that I did not help him?
I was hurt and felt shamed in public for something that I should not have felt , especially from some who are but strangers and know nothing of the lives we lead and the hurdles that we have to overcome and how difficult at times that it is.
I hope that we can understand reactions and I feel that I will react differently if another gut reaction happens again.

janbb's avatar

@Inspired_2write That was very graciously done.

SavoirFaire's avatar

Indeed, it was. To be honest, I didn’t think she’d do it. Much respect, @Inspired_2write.

MrGrimm888's avatar

I judge flutherites by their words, not the frequency of their attendance.

jca's avatar

I’m obligated to go to work if I want to keep the job. I’m obligated to take good care of my daughter unless I want CPS to come take her. I have a few obligations and although I love Fluther, Fluther isn’t one of them.

ragingloli's avatar

Of course you are. You all signed that contract, right?

ucme's avatar

Ahem, Treaty of Versailles

Cruiser's avatar

Whimsy is what dictates when or if I check in.

chyna's avatar

^And when you start missing us.

Coloma's avatar

We are all free to Fluther or refrain from Fluthering, it’s that simple. I am usually here every day, mostly early mornings and evenings. Sometimes I am quiet and just browse, others I actively participate. there are no rules.

Jeruba's avatar

^^^ There are rules. Just to be clear.

There are no rules that say someone must be here and participate. But there are other rules.

Kardamom's avatar

You don’t need to be here everyday, but if you want to participate in a thread, and not look like an idiot, it makes sense to know what has transpired before the last post above you. Sometimes there is more, often lots more, to a story than what has been mentioned in even the particular Q you are on.

Come and go as often as you like, but don’t be surprised that people will point out to you “the rest of the story” if you seem not to know.

jca's avatar

Good point by @Kardamom. Also, if you post a question and Jellies are looking for more info, and days go by without your checking in and responding, it’s not too helpful to the post.

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