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thewied's avatar

My best friends girlfriend...

Asked by thewied (31points) August 10th, 2008

has been flirting with me alot, in a very…promiscuous way. I like her a little and I’ve noticed that since she met me, she’s been trying to end her relationship with my best friend. What do I do? Im assuming i should talk to my friend about it. Am I right?

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19 Answers

jlm11f's avatar

Whatever happens, don’t do anything with this girl. Your best friend’s friendship is a LOT more important. If you like her, forget it…not worth the drama. As for what you should do, I wouldn’t discuss it with your friend quite yet. Stay away from the girl, try to make sure there aren’t occasions where you are alone in a room or anything. If she makes a big move on you or says she likes you outright, tell her you aren’t interested. And then tell your friend. Good Luck

TheHaight's avatar

I 100% agree with PnL. Be a best friend, and stay away from the girl.. She’s bad news. your friendship comes first, and is way more important.

thewied's avatar

I thank you both VERY much =) something that annoys me is that i completed post-college level on the Problem Solving section on the SATs but i have so much trouble with relationships/friendships =P

tinyfaery's avatar

Be careful about telling your friend. Like PnL said, wait on it. Even though you have his best interest at heart, he might not take it well. Tell him only if she makes an obvious move.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

keep distance.
Your bestfriend comes first over this chick.
So imagine what will happen when she finds another guy and does the same thing.


joeysefika's avatar

Bro’s Before Hoes! remember this and all will be well

jrpowell's avatar

A word of advice.. If she will drop him for you she will drop you for the next flavor of the week. Nothing good can come out of pursuing a relationship with her. You might have sex a few times but you are going to get hurt.

sinscriven's avatar

I’m not one to think that telling the friend is a good idea, not unless the situation reaches critical mass proportions. it’d be pretty nasty to throw a wrench in someone else’s relationship because of flirting.

If she’s tried multiple times to unzip your pants, then that’d be a warning that you should tell.

But in any instance, stay away from her. She’s poison. Even if your friend breaks up with her and she’s single. It’ll just breed huge resentment.

cyrusbond's avatar

Been there done that…however, contrare to the excellent advice that’s been given, I found it best to tell my friend what’s going on…if she’s flirting with me, then why is she with him? Hmmm?

mamasu's avatar

I think the choice to tell your friend depends upon how intense the flirting is. If your friend’s well being and happiness are at stake, speak up. Just remember, you won’t get a thank you. Emotions are funny. Your friend will likely be more angry with you than her, initially.

You should, however, tell the girlfriend that you don’t have any intention of reciprocating and that her betrayal of your friend’s trust is not cool. Tell her to stop flirting. She’s not just disrespecting your friend with that behavior. She’s showing a lack of respect for the friendship that you and he share.

SeekerSeekiing's avatar

All advise above is great. My only contribution is making sure you give NO double messages to this girl. She needs to know that you are not at all interested in her.

MrMeltedCrayon's avatar

I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but stick with the friendship. I can’t say I have any personal experience with it myself, but two of my best friends used to be best friends themselves until a girl got in the way. It was a lot of senseless drama, believe you me.

allengreen's avatar

You have described typical “HO” behavior——I’d run like hell and never talk to her again. One cannot have a health normal relationship with such a person, she is the definition of evil and misery.
She will for sure do the same thing to you. (I have done this dance before, and the result is always the same)
Or, get with your friend and set up a “sting.” Play her for the ho she is, and if your friend is in on the plan, after wards both of you will be free from this “She-Devil”.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Ugh. ^^^^

Without knowing her, it’s really difficult for any of us to judge her intentions or what she might do in the future. It’s entirely possible she’s a great person who was dating someone she liked, but after meeting you, she discovered you are a better fit. It happens all the time, guys and girls alike. This doesn’t automatically mean she’s the devil. We honestly don’t know.. you would know this better.

I do agree with the advice to not make a move. If you happen to be interested back, I wouldn’t pursue this until way down the line, once your best friend is well over her, should they break up.. If your best friend really likes her and she breaks up with him to start dating you, then your friendship will definitely suffer. Just based on what you’ve said here, I would be loyal to my best friend. I would avoid being alone with this girl, and if it got to the point where I felt comfortable doing so, I would tell my friend.

marinelife's avatar

Her behavior is so unethical, there is no predicting what she may do. If you tell your friend, she may lie and say you came on to her. If you confront her too harshly, she may tell him you came on to her anyway (before you have had time to say she has been flirting).

Until their relationship is resolved, I would avoid being around him if she will be there. Ask him just to do guy things for a while.

If she has really been acting badly, or you think she is the type to cause trouble with your friend, you might carry a pocket tape recorder one time and record her come on. Only use it if necessary to save your friendship. Consider it last resort insurance.

I hope things work out. Let us hear.

El_Cadejo's avatar

MY BEST FRIENDS GIRLFRIEND…. she used to be mine

jca's avatar

remember some people are just LETHAL and best to be stayed away from. no guarantee she is not just looking to do you (or have you do her) and then run to her bf (or ex-bf, whatever) and tell him, and you look like the bad guy.

thewied's avatar

Okay thank you all! I confronted both of them at the same time and we are clearing things up! She admitted to it and he forgave me. But now he broke up with her =P

TheHaight's avatar

right on thewied! You did the right thing. That’s good she admitted it.

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