Social Question

Kardamom's avatar

Do you know anyone who is notoriously late?

Asked by Kardamom (33254points) November 6th, 2017 from iPhone

If so, how do you handle that situation?

I am currently sitting in a cafe waiting for a friend. She is a favorite co-worker of mine, and we have been planning a day (outside of work for the first time) since last week. I even confirmed the time with her last night, and I chose a place to meet that is close to her house, even though it is about a half hour from my house.

I got here early. She is now 20 minutes late. I should have expexted it, because she is regularly late for work, but since there it doesn’t affect me, I didn’t really think about it.

I’m just slightly irritated, and I probably won’t mention it to her. We’re going to have a nice day anyway.

What is your experience with chronically late people?

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21 Answers

canidmajor's avatar

I really only have one chronically late friend that I tolerate anymore, as the benefits of being her friend far outweigh the drawbacks. My time is valuable to me and chronic lateness is disrespectful. I get that stuff happens and that we are all late from time to time due to circumstance, but I have no patience anymore for those adults who simply can’t be bothered to respect me enough to show up in a timely fashion.

How do I handle it? If it happens more than twice, without good cause, I don’t make plans anymore with the person. If they ask why, I tell them that the lateness bothers me, then they usually get angry and/or defensive. Great awkwardness ensues. Oh, well.

Lots of people either tolerate or are genuinely not bothered by lateness, I am just not one of them. Not any more.

janbb's avatar

I have one chronically late friend. We usually walk a few times a week. When she tells me she will be over in 15 minutes, it is usually 30 or even 45. I keep working until she comes and then get ready to leave. I have challenged her on it once or twice in our long friendship but it has never helped. I will not make plans with her that are time dependent and if I need to be home by a certain time, I don’t wlk with her that day. It does annoy me though.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

I know someone who doesn’t get ready to go outside until he is late.

si3tech's avatar

@Kardamom My sister in law was “notoriously late”. If we planned dinner for 5 pm we’d tell her it was at 4pm. Then she would not be AS late.

janbb's avatar

@cookieman The suspense was killing me. And I was kept waiting!

filmfann's avatar

Both my sister and a friend of mine are notoriously late.
My sister is the most wonderful person in the world, and we adjust by telling her the appointment time is 30 minutes earlier. She is always still late, but now only 10 minutes past the intended time.
My friend is so reliably late, my other friends and I developed a mathematical formula to forecast how late he will be.

ragingloli's avatar

Yeah. Erectile Dysfunction Man. He never comes.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

The white rabbit.

NomoreY_A's avatar

“I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date! No time to say hello, goodbye! I’m late I’m late I’m late!”

imrainmaker's avatar

I have some relatives who are always late. It’s like in their blood i.e. true for all family members! Similar to your incident we had to be there at a ceremony which was near to them and half an hour journey for me. Still they managed to arrive late by an hour!!

Kardamom's avatar

By the way, sorry for the texting typos. I should stop asking Q’s on my phone.

Call_Me_Jay's avatar

I work closely with a guy who gives a time and typically arrives one, two or even three hours late. Now when he says, “1PM” I say, “you mean 4PM, correct?” and give him a chance to revise his estimate.

If he is 30 minutes late, and I have work I can do outside the office, I leave.

johnpowell's avatar

My sister is always late. To the point where I never trust her. The best way to be on time with her if we are doing something like going out to dinner is to go to her house and then drag her and her slow kids along. Twins are a nightmare if you need to motor.

A few years ago I had to go in for a operation. A serious one. A general anesthetic would be applied. It was in a real operating room. I thought I would play it safe and tell her the operation was at 9AM (it was at 10AM)... She was not there at 9:15AM so I got a UBER.

She did manage to pick me up.

CWOTUS's avatar

Ronald Reagan must have always been late.

Every time I hear him mentioned it’s “the late Ronald Reagan this” or “the late Ronald Reagan that”. So, yeah, the guy must have been hella late to earn that kind of adjectival modifier to his name.

marinelife's avatar

Yes, I dealt with it by stating a time that was equal to the time she was always late earlier than the start time. It sometimes worked, sometimes didn’t.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I had a boss like that. When we were traveling (usually in another country) I would tell him where and when we were to meet. I said if he was not there by 5 minutes after he should not bother arriving. as I would leave without him. He said “You SOB! You’d leave me wouldn’t you!” “Yep. I promised the customer I would be there on time and I will – with or without you.”
I never had to leave him.

Dutchess_III's avatar

My husband. He is chronically late. I rarely set set times because of it. However, I once had an important event with one of the grandkids. I needed to be there at 1:00, an hour away. I told my husband I would be leaving the house at noon and not a second later. If he wasn’t ready to go I would leave without him.
He started getting ready to go at about 10 till 12. It takes him 30 minutes to get ready to go anywhere.
I left promptly at noon, without a word.
He has actually gotten a little better since then.

I, personally, think it’s a passive aggressive way of controlling things around him. He’s a control freak.

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