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rojo's avatar

What would be the thing that pushes you over the edge?

Asked by rojo (24176points) February 8th, 2018

Yesterday, for a while, there was a question on Fluther regarding suicide. I opened it and saw that the person didn’t want to talk, didn’t want advice, didn’t want sympathy, just advice to make it easier or less painful. I clicked out of the website. I was not sure what else to do.

The day before an acquaintance had committed suicide. We were not close but knew each other through soccer coaching. He was the president of the kids league here in town where I occasionally coached and had been for six years. My daughter coached one of his kids for a season. Family man, four kids aged 11 to 16, good job, involved in both his church and community, no overt drug or alcohol problems, outgoing, never seemed to meet a stranger, no prior warning signs that anybody noticed. And then he ended it. I will probably never know why.

But these two things, coming so close together got me to thinking about what it would take for someone to choose to end his or her life. I cannot say that doing so has not fleetingly crossed my mind in the past but never seriously and mostly as an mental exercise to something that has happened to someone else and what my reaction to similar circumstances might be.

For me, I would consider it if incapacitated enough for me to be unable to care for myself or to continue life as I now enjoy it.

What would be the limit for you? At what point might such an action become a viable option? Or would anything ever drive you to such an act?

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16 Answers

Aethelwine's avatar

Feeling hopeless and seeing no end in sight to my suffering. Being clinically depressed exasperates the situation. I’ve had these thoughts as recent as this time last year. The one thing that saved me was having children. I could never do that to my children. My mother threatened suicide several times during the last ten years of her life. It was very difficult to deal with. It still hurts to think about.

stanleybmanly's avatar

unbearable suffering with no hope of improvement.

kritiper's avatar

Contemplating suicide is normal; everyone does it in one way or another. Actually doing it is going over the edge, so to speak.
What might drive me over the edge would be having to move out of my house permanently, like because of an illness or injury, health insurance/hospitalization being out of the question for monetary reasons.
(Life expectancy for a male is 76.6 years and I am 64, so time is getting short anyway…)

SergeantQueen's avatar

Well, I’m going to talk from an extremely personal perspective, because I’ve felt that way before, and tried it.I’m not going to get super specific in details for obvious reasons and I can tell you it wasn’t just one specific thing. For me it was a lot of things, changes mainly, happening at once.
I have a very bad anxiety disorder, and that was one cause of it. There was a lot of family issues going on, which was another. On top of that, I was at a new school and a lot of kids were very, very bad to me and it just all kind of crescendoed into this very large, burden that became unbearable for me. I was 11, didn’t have a good grip or understanding on things and it all just seemed like the end of the world.

Now, and to answer your question more specifically, there probably wouldn’t be a “thing” that would push me over the edge. That time in my life was the lowest I’ve ever been, and I’ve had some sucky terrible things happen since then, but I’ve been able to cope with it better. I’ve found that life is worth living no matter how bad it gets and I am going to fight through it no matter what. Although I guess if I was like convicted of a murder I didn’t commit and had to spend my life in jail I probably would. But that is a low chance of happening.

I hope I don’t come across a thing that’ll do that to me.

rojo's avatar

@SergeantQueen so despair was the main cause for you? No hope or no way to combat those things that you couldn’t control?

SergeantQueen's avatar

Yeah, I guess it could be grouped into that.

Darth_Algar's avatar

Old age and the decline of my physical and mental faculties.

janbb's avatar

Degenerative illness, looming dementia

longgone's avatar

Being alone. I know what sadness feels like, but I’ve always had family and friends to rely (and be relied) on. I think being truly alone would be unbearable.

stanleybmanly's avatar

Do you mean being isolated? Like desert island alone?

longgone's avatar

^ Me? It’s not so much being alone physically… I might enjoy a day on a desert island. I’m fine being alone, but I need to know that I have people to turn to.

MrGrimm888's avatar

I suffer from anxiety issues. I have had a few attacks land me in the ER. The feeling during the attack, is basically unbearable. The issue comes, and goes. Sometimes I have weeks, without a problem. Sometimes, I have an attack that won’t respond to my medication. If it were to go on, for too long, I would have to do something. It does not please me to say, but that would probably push me off of my fickle edge…

Dutchess_III's avatar

Having let my kids or grandkids down in a horrible way, even if it was unintentional.

NomoreY_A's avatar

What, me worry? Suicide is not an option for me. Might be painful and I don’t like pain…pain hurts.

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