General Question

shrubbery's avatar

Can you please help me think of a joke or funny analogy or metaphor or something catchy for a pitch for Head Girl?

Asked by shrubbery (10232points) August 18th, 2008

I have to write an A4 page about myself to be read by the girls in the senior school before they vote upon Head Girl for next year. There are about 25 candidates and I really need mine to stand out.

I don’t want it to be the generic ‘I am organised, friendly, hard-working blah blah blah blah’ because they are all like that.

I need something different and funny, maybe making an analogy about the school or something funny like that.

Can you please help me?

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40 Answers

trumi's avatar

School is like a car. The principal is like the steering wheel, the staff like various parts of the engine, and the students are the drivers. The gas of the car is your driving force to make it through and succeed in life, and the oil is like the student infrastructure. It makes the task easier for all the working parts, and every so many miles it gets changed. The head girl is kind of like the dipstick. Hey, don’t laugh! The dipstick is a very important part of maintaining your car! The dipstick is the most important part of keeping the oil in check. Without a head girl, the infrastructure would fall apart! To keep the students running smoothly is to keep the car running smoothly, and if the car runs smoothly than it stays on track for a long time.

So vote for me; The dipstick.

And then put up posters of your face with the word DIPSTICK underneath :D

girlofscience's avatar

LOL, I always thought shrubbery was a middle-aged man. Not sure why.

One of the only things I dislike about fluther is how, for the most part, users are too gender neutral. I’d really prefer to know if posters were male or female.

tinyfaery's avatar

What are the duties of the “head girl”?

gailcalled's avatar

I could help you, shrubbery, but then I might be elected Head Girl and I am too busy now. (Besides, been there and done that.) This has to be your work; otherwise what will happen when you have to wing it? Deep breath; think of why you deserve the position. Don’t use clich├ęs. Good luck.

*(I am woman.)

girlofscience's avatar

I know you are, gailcalled! I think you are so funny. I was laughing the other day when I thought of how you once said, “Back in the Dark Ages, when my husband and I got married, we had not yet had sex (according to Bill Clinton).”

trumi's avatar

Try to remember that the whole thing is a popularity contest. There is a good chance that only a few people have a real shot at winning, so be confident but don’t get your hopes up. Unless you are one of the popular girls, in which case you’ve got a good chance!

Humor has always helped me win such elections, but I’m pretty extroverted and most people know me. Some people go for a joke like that and totally miss, and others make it work. You’ve got to sell it.

Good luck! I hope you come up with something :)

gailcalled's avatar

We still don’t know what a “Head Girl” is, or at least, I don’t. Tell, trumi.

trumi's avatar

Haven’t you read Harry Potter?

trumi's avatar

I believe it is similar to a class president.

gailcalled's avatar

Yes, but I think of supercilious Percy Weasley or sardonic Draco Malfoy. Class presidents in my day and in my high school were titular jobs and held no real power.

trumi's avatar

That is my impression of the duties of a Head Girl. Sort of a teacher’s pet and a sheep herder? Percy is exactly my take on it. Except, chosen by peers instead of teachers, so Fred and George would be more like it. That is, if they had stuck around for their N.E.W.T.‘s

If I’m on the right track, a gimmick is the perfect (or Prefect?) way to win. The smart girl with the well thought out plan will probably fall to the side. It’s probably about popularity.

However, Dipstick may be a little low-brow… :P

cyndyh's avatar

I always thought it was like a residents’ assistant in a college dorm—but elected. But I’m living in America so what do I know about it? Isn’t it an actual non-paid job with real duties?

Poser's avatar

On a whim, in high school, I decided to run for student council president. When I found out the guy running against me was “Mr. Touchdown,” I went all-out. I assigned all of my friends positions in my campaign staff, and pretty much made a huge joke out of the whole thing. I won, not so much because I was more popular or better qualified, but because I was having the most fun. I think people just thought that I’d make things a little more interesting in my sleepy little high school.

gailcalled's avatar

And did you? Or were you a figurehead President?

Seesul's avatar

At my HS we had uniforms, but the Seniors picked out Senior blazers (wool, in San Diego no less). Supposedly, as a class, we picked out the fabric and the style. It was only YEARS later, that my sisters, both quite a bit older than I am, were listening to me complain about how ugly ours was. Their answer to me; “we thought you knew, the nuns picked them out”. To this day, I haven’t found anyone in the class who voted for them.

We also voted on a Senior trip. The choices were Disneyland or a place called Elfin Forest, an undeveloped park out in the boonies. It was also very hot. Again, we couldn’t find anyone who voted for Elfin Forest, but that’s where we spent the most boring, miserable day of our Senior year

The only thing our that ever happened to our Senior class president was being reprimanded for allowing us to portray the 12 Days of Christmas in a humorous form. She picked it so the entire class could participate. I was one of the 5 golden rings. We came out dressed in gold wrapping paper covered truck inner-tubes. One of our favorite nuns came out dressed up in full traditional habit with swim fins feathers and a bird bill. She was also admonished, but we loved her for it.

meethinks gail is right on track

Poser's avatar

@gail—Well, I’d like to think I did. I had fun, anyway.

shrubbery's avatar

Haha just letting everyone know now, just in case they thought I was, I AM NOT A MIDDLE AGED MAN! :P

Trumi is pretty much right, I mean I guess it’d be a mix between Percy and Fred/George, if that’s possible. Like what would you call it, a student body representative or something?

I know it has to be my work, but it’s not a very good system as far as nominations and voting goes, the short list is pretty much all based on the posters and only those girls will go on to make a speech. I’m a good speech writer, but I just have to get that far and I needed to stand out against all the other posters to even have a chance of being shortlisted.

I would really love to get the position but it’s not such a huge deal if I didn’t. We have so many amazing people in our grade who deserve the position so really I will win either way. I will also have an insanely busy year next year already so maybe it’s a good thing if I don’t get it. We also get to run for various other ‘smaller’ prefect roles so I’ll probably go for one of those.

Thanks anyway everyone!

gailcalled's avatar

Fred and George were too funny, irreverent and smart to be Prefects. And I am in the middle of the last book, so I don’t know how everyone ends up. Presumably, Fred and George will have happier, more fulfilling and less selfish lives that poor old Percy.

trumi's avatar

AHHH!!!

Gail you’re gonna make me cry!!!!!!

Finish the book. No more talking about the Weasleys.

gailcalled's avatar

Oh, dear. That was ominous.

trumi's avatar

Shhh. Read. I don’t want to give anything away.

cyndyh's avatar

@ gail and @trumi: Yeah, I can’t even read more of this thread until I hear Gail’s finished that book. I’m too tempted to say something. Read.

gailcalled's avatar

Reading – I have to take some time off to water neighbor’s plants and pick up his mail, go to dentist tomorrow and take a friend out to lunch to celebrate successful breast reduction surgery, shop for my mother, go visit her on
Thursday and help her with shower and on Friday, spend afternoon with a shut-in with severe chemical and environmental allergies.

And the litter box and His Magnificence, of course.

cyndyh's avatar

@gailcalled: I get you. I get you. Maybe send a message when you’re done.

The year before the last book came out, Dr. Who said he read it and cried. :^>

gailcalled's avatar

I will send a message couched as a question when I have finished. It may be another week or so. Dr. Who reads? Dr. Who is on what reincarnation?

cyndyh's avatar

Well, I was going to say 11, but I just checked and it’s 10. This latest one is the best so far, though. Prrrrr

Yes, he reads. I don’t remember which episode, but one of the companions mentions Harry Potter, and he say, “Wait ‘til you read the 7th book. Oh, I cried.” Which is funny because no one had read it yet.

shrubbery's avatar

Well I absolutely bawled too. She did a good job though.

cyndyh's avatar

@shrubbery: Yes, yes. I’m trying so hard not to say too much, though, since Gail hasn’t finished the last one yet.

gailcalled's avatar

@All: So, how about them Mets?

cyndyh's avatar

@gailcalled: Let’s just not talk about the Mariners right now. :^>

shrubbery's avatar

Make sure you let us know when you’ve read it. I don’t mind if you keep using my thread haha.

shrubbery's avatar

Speaking of prefects and Harry Potter, our head prefects performed a dance version of this to our whole school today. (The first half anyway haha) It was bloody awesome :P

If you haven’t seen them before the rest are here haha enjoy

gailcalled's avatar

@shrub: That was absolutely charming (altho they looked like puppets to me.) A good reason to get either appointed or elected prefect.

I am now half-way thru last book. Hold off on those spoilers.

shrubbery's avatar

Are you done yet are you done yet?

gailcalled's avatar

Almost. Gone are Dobby, Snapes, and (boo hoo) Fred. I’ll ask a question when I finish, since this has nothing to do with the question.

I am somewhat muddled about Horcruxes and Hallows, but I don’t think that matters. And the snake, locket, ring, diadem, wands, Harry, snitch, – it’s all a bit much.

I am listening on CDs, and have heard 16 of the 17, although I have to listen to #16 again.

trumi's avatar

AHHH FRED!!!!

sobs

shrubbery's avatar

It is a bit confusing, it took me a while to get my head around the wand thing! Hope you enjoy the end, have some more tissues near by.

shrubbery's avatar

Gail, have you finished yet? Terribly sorry if you have and I missed your question.

gailcalled's avatar

@Shrubbery; Yes, I did. The character development of the Weasley family I found a lot more interesting than the stick figure fantasy characters. I did not understand the action rigmarole, but it seems unimportant.

The questions and answers here come and go too rapidly for me. I like to dwell and brood and cogitate..maybe I am confusing Fluther with school.

shrubbery's avatar

I agree, I loved it when Mrs Weasley let loose on- is it Bellatrix Lestrange?. Though I did not fully understand the whole wand…‘thing’. I’ll have to go back and read it again.

I agree with that, too. I have a hard time keeping up and don’t end up answering a lot of questions I would like to.

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