General Question

Dutchess_III's avatar

Would you participate in a "sexual harassment" Fluther poll?

Asked by Dutchess_III (39545points) September 21st, 2018

The stats suggest that 1 in 6 women will be the victim of rape or sexual harassment in their lives. I think that the figure is closer to 100%.
That 1 in 6 number is not fair because it could it lead some people to think “See, it’s not so bad. 5 out of 6 women aren’t affected.”

If you have been a victim of rape or sexual harassment would you just chime in with a yay or a nay? This is open to men, also. Any details are optional.

This is a poll. I’m out to gather information only, not to start any fights.

Note that this is in General. Has Hell frozen over?


I will start:

Yes, I have experienced sexual harassment on multiple occasions. It was pretty much never ending. I was almost raped on on 3 different occasions. The first time I was 12 years old.

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27 Answers

KNOWITALL's avatar

Yes. I chose not to file charges as it was friend-drinking rape while I was basically passed out. I was 19 years old.

mazingerz88's avatar

Yup. I was in elementary in the 70s and the Children’s Bible Stories book series seller groped me.

notsoblond's avatar

Raped at 15 by two boy friends, then again at 18 by another friend.

Physically hurt at 16 for denying a boy’s advances.

Workplace sexual harassment at 18. Forced to watch another employee masturbate after he asked for a bj and I said no.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

All of them happened during high school. Verbal sexual harassment? Very often. Some boys have repeatedly invited me to be raped by them. Some have hugged me from behind and touch me in an appropriate way. I never watch porn during that time so I easily feel flustered and act antagonistic toward their advances. After I graduated from highschool I discovered porn on internet and have watched several rape scenes, and should I say, I felt real dirty. I have even imagined the scenario of me allowing those guys to have their ways with me. Perhaps I would have enjoyed that had I give in to their relentless demands? Oh boy, such temptation. Until these days my secret fetish ask me to get raped but my rationality tell me that I will regret it. I don’t even know if that should be categorized as shamelessness.

snowberry's avatar

Yes. It was a boss twice, and several random other people. First time was being groped by my neighbor at age 16.

Edit: I forgot to mention I have been raped too.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

I was groped by my dad in front of my girlfriend in thanksgiving 2000. Also several more times. No one believed me.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Was hugged by a Priest (in preparing for my wedding)when he tried to turn it into kissing on the mouth!
I rejected his advances and told my intended and the next encounter he stepped in and told that priest off! Apparently in his Culture this was acceptable as he came from a friendly Scottish community in his past.Poor excuse though as he was much older and should have known better.
I reported him.
I notice a odd familiarity of women allowing men that they don’t even know hug and kiss them upon meeting the first time? I know some Europeans are used to this, but I do not allow them in my personal space. I am in Canada and tourists come here all the time with their Culture as a guideline and NOT learning another countries acceptance of what is appropriate?
Too many women allow too much too soon so no wonder men are confused?

Dutchess_lll's avatar

Remember guys…no debating! Just the facts ma’am.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Very recently, by a teacher. PM me for more details.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Guy here, never have been harassed in any sexual type, nor have I done it to anyone, geeze I must be a freaking saint.

JLeslie's avatar

Never raped and never had any problems at work.

I have been grabbed and touched. I been held down against my will by someone who I thought was possibly going to rape me, but I got him off fairly quickly.

Verbally, I have had men cat call me to the point that I was worried for my safety.

gondwanalon's avatar

This is more like sexual assault.

When I was 5 years old a big boy tried to make me give him a blow job and he demonstrated how to do it on me. When I refused to do it he just left me sitting behind piles of Christmas trees behind the YMCA. I lived just 2 blocks away and never told anyone about it. Didn’t understand what had happened to me.

MrGrimm888's avatar

Dozens of times. Maybe closer to a couple hundred. I was around drunk females a lot. But some of the worst stuff was from women in the medical field. When I look back, it seemed like they would have been the last girls to behave that way. I suppose it’s the same for females. Always the last person you would suspect….

Kardamom's avatar

I have never been raped, but I have 3 friends (that I am aware of) that have been raped.

My first experience was in elementary school when one boy repeatedly grabbed and pinched my back side. The same wretched kid did this to multiple girls. None of us ever went to the teacher, because we were mortified.

I have had men, total strangers, shove their erections into me (we all were fully clothed and this was in public) at multiple concerts, and once when I was on a crowded train. It was scary and awful. I learned to carry a large purse to use as a barrier. Once, when I confronted a jerk after doing this, he screamed obscenities at me. Finally a security person at the concert hall made him leave, but he screaming “bitch” at me as he was lead away.

I have had multiple men over the course of my life yell ugly obscenities at me for simply turning down a date, or a dance, or the chance to “fuck them” (his words not mine) all of these incidents were in public, by total strangers. I dress pretty conservatively, so my clothing was not provacative. Some men, even in 2018, think it’s perfectly acceptable to demand that a woman do stuff for/with them and won’t take a simple “no thank you” for an answer.

Over the course of my work life, at different jobs, I have had several creepy bosses, multiple co-workers, and random male clients/customers who have said dirty awful things to me, and one specific coworker who groped me. One of my bosses slept with multiple female co-workers at one of the places I worked, and this same douche sexually harrassed and groped one of my friends who also worked there. When she went to HR to complain, she was promptly fired.

She asked me if I would testify as a witness. She was going to take him and the company to trial for wrongful termination, and sexual harrassment. Her lawyer told her that unless she had videotape of this guy doing his dirty deeds towards her, that she would most likely lose her case, and have to pay his court costs, and have her reputation ruined in court. He recommended that she didn’t persue it.

This is why women don’t come forward.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

Scary a lot of men are complete pigs, just please realize all are not.

JLeslie's avatar

@MrGrimm888 You reinforce a point I made either here or on another Q, men don’t say anything either, I don’t know why they expect women to. I don’t mean you expect women to, I just mean it’s hypocritical that men (in general) don’t understand when they are harassed and hazed and even abused in so many ways and it’s not like they always go tell someone, or tell the authorities.

ItalianPrincess1217's avatar

So many times, I’ve lost count. If I actually think back about how often it’s happened, it’s actually pretty disturbing.

MrGrimm888's avatar

@JLeslie . I told a female manager at a restaurant I worked at, about a female bartender who was constantly groping the guys, and saying VERY inappropriate things. She laughed at me. I have not reported anything since…

Some of the women who assault me, are powerful people. I always just kind of let them do whatever…

KNOWITALL's avatar

@MrGrimm Women can be pigs, too. Sorry.

JLeslie's avatar

@MrGrimm888 That totally sucks. The manager should be fired, and the bartender. The manager is incompetent and puts the business at risk.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^Should be, and reality, are two different things. I’ve talked to a few of my friends who worked with me, at the time. We have thought about bringing a law suit to the chain restaurant. But even in this era, we have little faith in it going anywhere…

It’s a massive double standard. Honestly, most women think men should be happy with being groped. Not ALL, but in most cases where I’ve discussed it publicly.
I.don’t want droves of women to lose their jobs, or be imprisoned. I just want them to respect my boundaries. I wager that’s what most females prefer.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Kardamom…you summed up my whole life from about the age of 12 on!

@SQUEEKY2 MOST men are not like that. The problem is the ones who are can be terrifying, even physically painful, and that emotion sticks in our minds, rather than the memory of the 20 others who didn’t do anything.

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