General Question

Dannyfanpooch's avatar

Have you ever liked someone but not wanted a relationship?

Asked by Dannyfanpooch (63points) 3 weeks ago from iPhone

I guess this stems from another question I posted but just out of curuousity and part of my decision making I’d like to know if you’ve ever dated someone that you enjoyed dating but wanted to take it slow and not rush into a relationship? in my experience when someone says they like you but don’t want to rush it means they’re having a good time but they don’t want anything more. I told the guy I’ve been dating for the past month and a half that I liked it him and wanted to be “official” his response was he liked me too but didn’t want to rush into anything because there’s a lot we don’t know about eachother. Should I just move on? I don’t like to waste my time and I feel this was an excuse and I would feel weird brining it up again and I doubt he will ever say he’s finally ready to make it official .

Sorry this will be the last question of the day thank you for your advice .

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

10 Answers

chyna's avatar

In my opinion, the whole reason for dating is to get to know each other. So while dating, each person may date others at the same time to weed out the people they are not compatible with. If you are not having sex with him, why not continue dating and see others? If you are having sex, stop so you won’t feel that you need to commit so early in your relationship. A month and a half is not that long to be getting to know another person.

Dannyfanpooch's avatar

we did agree not to see other people.. and yes we are sleeping together, we text every day of the week.. and we go out on a date saturday nights for the past 6 weeks and i typically stay the night there or vise versa.. its just confusing, You would think you could still make a relationship like.. official? while getting to know eachother but who knows, you never really know someone entirely.

Unofficial_Member's avatar

“The faster it happens, the faster it’ll crumble”. I always expect friendship first before I’ll consider moving forward to a more romantic level for relationship. The world is not going to end if you take your time properly, rather than regretting your premature decision. It’s not about the official status that matter, it’s about the real connection you are able to build with this person.

zenvelo's avatar

I am curious about your term “official”. Short of marriage or a documented partnership for fianncial reasons, there really isn’t anything tha makes it offical. The fact that you are both understanding it to be exclusive is enough. Six weeks is too early to be engaged.

And, it may be time now to have a discussion over what each of you are seeking in a relationship.

Any ongoing interaction with another person is a relationship; that includes everything from friends with benefits or your regular movie date to full on marriage. The parameters of the relationship are defined by agreement by both people.

From reading this and your other post, it seems you are not at the same place as he is. If you are okay with the way things are, then stay; otherwise, pursue your own happiness by saying goodbye to him, and moving on.

Dannyfanpooch's avatar

official to me means we agree to be in a relationship together where things are progressing to more than just seeing each other one day a week, meeting his kid, his family, going to family events together, things like that. I do enjoy his company and I think he’s an amazing person but I just kind of feel silly not knowing if him saying he “likes me but there’s still a lot we don’t know about each other” was just an excuse or if he meant it, my intuition says it was an excuse. ):

janbb's avatar

Six weeks seems awfully early to be pushing for more of a commitment from him. I think you need to slow your expectations down; it sounds like he has a lot on his plate. I think he’s being honest with you.

ananya1111's avatar

Looks like you really like him. Pursue if your heart is in it but not too much. Do what your heart says.

KNOWITALL's avatar

If this is the man with a child, of course he wants to take it slow. Parenting meansyou dont bring home randoms around your young child. I respect him more for that actually.

Dannyfanpooch's avatar

It is, yes I suppose you’re right.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther