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josie's avatar

Were you upset and frustrated as a child if you did not get your way, or what you wanted?

Asked by josie (29503points) 1 month ago

Did your parents seem defensive if you were unhappy, say when you did not get the Christmas present you wanted or were otherwise disappointed?

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8 Answers

Dutchess_lll's avatar

I don’t remember any particular frustration over being denied. It was like “Meh.”

To your question tho, Mom hated to see us cry, even if it had nothing to do with her, but all she’d do is snarl at us to quit crying.

Patty_Melt's avatar

I grew sort of accustomed to not getting what I wanted at a pretty early age.
I remember when I was three or four I wanted an oven for my playhouse, which had been a chicken brooder house converted. It was super cool, with a cot, table and tiny chairs, tea set. I got a STI VG e for Christmas, but it was homemade. It was plywood. The burners VB were painted on, and so were the knobs and timer. There were no gizmos for me to adjust. There was only the oven door to open.
I cried, even the there was a still warm, enormous cheeseburger on one of the burners for or me. That sucker had to be a two pounder. The bun was home baked to fit monsterburger.
I didn’t appreciate the workmanship of the stove until years after it was gone.

That was my only meltdown. After that I was old enough to understand my parents were poor. I was actually surprised each holiday at how much my parents managed to come up with.

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t remember ever asking for a gift for a holiday or birthday and being upset if I didn’t get it. I never asked for anything unreasonable, and I don’t think I even got gifts every year once I was about 10 years old, I barely remember it. Mostly, I received money, and I put it all in the bank.

I can remember one time really wanting a pair of jeans, and I cried in the store, and so my parents relented and gave me the money for them. I think I was about 7 or 8 years old. I tried them on, and then in the end I didn’t buy them.

As a teen I remember having big fights at times about wanting to go out somewhere, but it was rare, because my parents overall weren’t very strict.

I once asked my mom if I used to fight with my little sister a lot. I don’t remember fighting with her much at all. In my memory she was very cute, and we would play together. We are 2.5 years apart, I’m older. My mom answered, “oh no, you didn’t fight a lot. When your sister wanted something you had, if she started to whine about it, you would just give her whatever she wanted, and tell her to shhh, mommy doesn’t like a lot of noise.” Lol.

I don’t think I was a very possessive child. I shared willingly, and I rarely thought to ask my parents to buy me anything.

Dutchess_lll's avatar

^^ all that.

raum's avatar

My parents like to tell me that the neighbors didn’t even know they had a baby until they saw my parents buying diapers.

Don’t know if that’s truly a testament to me not crying as a kid. Or that my parents were just incredibly antisocial with their neighbors.

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KNOWITALL's avatar

No, I was pretty easygoing until the teen years.

If I didn’t like something, I didn’t dare say anything, mom would have slapped me upside the head and reminded me to be grateful.

longgone's avatar

When I was eight, my little sister was supposed to get a hamster for a birthday surprise. I came along to pick him out at the pet store, then proceeded to cry about how my guinea pigs couldn’t do any tricks. We ended up walking out of there with two hamsters – the shop owner felt so bad for me, she insisted I should have one as a gift from her.

So, yes. I did get very upset at times. It mattered whether I understood the cause. I always accepted when my parents didn’t have the money to pay for something I wanted. I was also very happy to be denied access to things that would scare me – I trusted my parents to know how much I could handle and relied on them to keep me safe from nightmares. I also knew they would help me stay healthy, and I usually accepted when they said I had enough ice cream or chocolate for the day.

I did not react calmly to being told I was too young to be responsible. I wanted a dog ever since I was five, and I was convinced I would take good care of it. My parents did not think I could be trusted with that job, and this topic caused many arguments. When I finally got a dog (at age 13), I surprised my parents by training, walking, and feeding her without prompting.

My parents seemed defensive when they denied me something that would, ultimately, be good for me. They did not like to stop me from inviting friends over, for example. They were very supportive of my reading, getting me mountains of books. For birthday wishes, they tried to find what I wanted or clearly explain why it wasn’t an option.

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