General Question

JackAdams's avatar

Seen any funny signs lately?

Asked by JackAdams (6492points) September 2nd, 2008

Here are some real ones that I have seen in my lifetime.

On the door of a restaurant:

“SORRY! WE’RE OPEN!”

On the front door of a hard-of-hearing person:

“KNOCK LOUDLY!”
(You are making 5 copies!)

On a residence:

“SALESMEN & PROSELYTIZERS BY APPOINTMENT ONLY”

In a Veterinarian’s Office:

“SIT! STAY!”
(The Doctor will be with you, shortly.)

“UNRULY CHILDREN WILL BE GIVEN A FREE KITTEN”

Outside the entrance to Hugh Hefner’s Chicago apartment:

“IF YOU DON’T SWING, DON’T RING!”

On a Freeway Overpass:

“IGNORE THIS SIGN”

So, what signs have you seen lately, that made you smile or laugh out loud?

September 2, 2008, 6:09 AM EDT

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

30 Answers

stratman37's avatar

TOUCHING WIRES CAUSES INSTANT DEATH
$200.00 FINE

stratman37's avatar

THIS VEHICLE PROTECTED BY ANTI THEFT STICKER

JackAdams's avatar

@Vincentt: I like that one! It reminds me of this one I saw, in an old Warner Brothers cartoon, featuring, as I recall, Pepe LePew, the skunk.

He was in Venice. Italy, and someone was riding on a gondola and there was a bridge on which one of the characters smacks his noggin. The sign on that overpass read:

“DUCKA YOU HEAD”
(Lollobrigida)

September 2, 2008, 6:48 AM EDT

Jax's avatar

Road sign:
STOP hammer time

shrubbery's avatar

This one. Too bad they washed it off with a power hose the other day.
It definitely isn’t the sign outside my house. And it definitely wasn’t done by bluemukaki and myself. Honest.

Scrumpulator's avatar

I was in Siene, Italy, and I saw a direct translation into english from an Italian sign,

“to hold hands of children” it was referring to a gangway, so children did not fall. It was funny at the time, does not seem so funny right now

Vincentt's avatar

Oh, I almost forgot, one on the wall of a McDonald’s in Luxembourg.

Open
Monday-Thursday: 10:00 – 1:00
Friday: 10:00 – 1:00
Saturday & Sunday: 10:00 – 1:00

Bri_L's avatar

Private Parking
Violators will be towed at owners expense.

But the “Private Parking” part had that circle with a line through it like they use for no dogs, or no smoking.

So really it meant the owner couldn’t use his own lot.

dalepetrie's avatar

Didn’t see this one in real life, it was in a magazine article about funny signs about 20+ years ago, but it’s always struck me as the best sign ever.

On a Dairy Queen billboard:

“Scream until Daddy stops the car”

In real life the one that really cracked me up was on a Popeye’s chicken restaurant in a very “urban” area in Minneapolis, announcing that they would indeed be open on the 4th of July:

“ID4 We B Open”

Lee_27's avatar

in Oklahoma there are signs everywhere that say: Wanted clean dirt.

augustlan's avatar

On the Central Tractor sign in my town, since about March of this year: “It’s Sping time… come check out our line of Moers.” It’s still there, today.

JackAdams's avatar

There are signs all over America, outside of dry-cleaning establishments, that read:

“DROP YOUR PANTS HERE”

September 2, 2008, 1:11 PM EDT

JackAdams's avatar

I mentioned in another thread that there was a sign at a business (I believe it was a delicatessen) where the owner wanted his customers to speak only English to his employees, when ordering food, etc.

He had the following sign posted:

ENGLISH ONLY!

(and right beneath that)

INGLES SOLAMENTE!

September 2, 2008, 1:43 PM EDT

scamp's avatar

Here are a few I got a chuckle from. Click the arrow to see more.

JackAdams's avatar

@scamp: Thanks! Those are terrific!

September 2, 2008, 2:16 PM EDT

scamp's avatar

You bet! I saw more, but I can’t remember the site. I’ll post them if I can find the time to look.

scamp's avatar

Try these. There are over 100.

buster's avatar

In Chattanooga Tennessee there is a business and the sign says “Stubbs Prosthetics and Orthotics.” They make fake arms and legs.

dalepetrie's avatar

My childhood dentist (no joke) had a sign in front of his office with his name,

“Dr. Skull, DDS”

…though to be fair it was pronounced “school”.

We also have a convenience store on the corner that advertised a sale on cat litter for many months…

“Tity Cat, $4.98”

JackAdams's avatar

@scamp; The sign shown here could be interpretted as saying, “Hitchhikers May Be RUNNING AWAY FROM Inmates”

September 2, 2008, 5:26 PM EDT

Tantigirl's avatar

There is a doctor who works for The Department of Veteran’s Affairs in Canberra (or did, he may have retired by now), Australia, whose name is Dr Death (pronounced deeth), and there is also an orthopedic surgeon called Dr Kneebone.

There is also an asian restaurant in Canberra called Phuket which was pronounced “fuckit”!! I’m not sure if it is still there.

On Main Street of the town where I live in Massachusetts, is a podiatrist called Dr Franger. Being an aussie, I was on the floor in hysterics when I saw his office sign. I should explain that in the land of Oz, a franger is slang for a condom!!

scamp's avatar

@JackAdams true, but I think the focal point was the bullet holes. ha ha!

JackAdams's avatar

Agreed!

Thanks for the 126 sign photos!

September 2, 2008, 5:49 PM EDT

scamp's avatar

You’re very welcome!

JackAdams's avatar

When I was going to college in MN in the late 60s, early 70s, there were a lot of kids who were going around the Twin Cities, protesting the war in Vietnam.

One morning, people awakened to discover that almost every STOP sign had the word “WAR” spray-painted directly underneath the word STOP.

Those kids must have been very busy, and there must have been a lot of them, because in my neighborhood alone, there wasn’t one STOP sign that was untouched.

September 2, 2008, 11:01 PM EDT

Sueanne_Tremendous's avatar

The best sign I ever saw was a sign directing people where to park at a Planned Parenthood clinic:

Please Use Rear Entrance

Best way to prevent pregnancy….

Bri_L's avatar

@st-classic!

mamasu's avatar

One of my favorites is a furniture shop down in Sperryville, VA. It has a big sign that says
Antique Tables Made Daily

Another that tickles my funny bone was one I saw when I pulled off the highway to fuel up somewhere in PA. It said:

Daves Drive Thru Barber Shop

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