Social Question

tinyfaery's avatar

Do you think a man can be hot but not sexy or sexy but not hot, and can you name and/or post pics of examples?

Asked by tinyfaery (43118points) June 8th, 2020

I’m having a debate with a few coworkers about hot (attractive, gorgeous, esthetically pleasing) v. sexy (that je ne sais quois that makes someone beddable) men. I think a man can be one and not the other. Some agree and some don’t. Do you agree with me or think the two go hand in hand?

Also I think sexy is more of an opinion and attractiveness is more about symmetry.

David Duchovny is sexy not hot

Brad Pitt is hot and sexy

I get hung up on hot but not sexy, because admittedly, the two often go hand in hand.

Help me out my fluther peeps.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

24 Answers

ragingloli's avatar

Sexy and hot in that context are synonyms.
So the answer is no.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I totally agree that a man can be physically attractive and I won’t necessarily be sexually attracted to him. If I’m understanding the question correctly? Sexual attraction is a complex thing, looks are one factor (and not even necessarily one that has to be in the equation if the rest is right.)

elbanditoroso's avatar

Wow! Women objectifying men! Who would have thunk it!!!

Dutchess_III's avatar

I do think a man can be hot but not necessarily sexy.
And, also, as a woman, sexy is really not on my mind when I’m checking guys out. I look for things like a good personality, someone who is intelligent and funny.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Also, FWIW, I didn’t find David Duchovny either sexy or hot. Maybe the pose would appeal to a gay guy. It didn’t appeal to me.

And Brad Pitt is HOT!!! But it’s not just his looks. It’s that he is so irreverent and casual about his looks!

janbb's avatar

To me, hot and sexy are the same. I would say a man could be handsome but not sexy or hot but sexy = hot, i.e. beddable.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I do think that.
Johnny Depp,Lenny Kravitz and Jason Momoa are hot (handsome) but not sexy (beddable) to me.
Howie Long, Dolph Lundgren, and Robert Shaw are both.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Johnny Depp! I found him beddable! He was like, the sexiest man EVER.

ucme's avatar

All I will say is this, women are more about aesthetics & so handsome is as handsome does.
As far as finding a bloke sexy, I mean, do your nipples harden when you look at him? :D

Mama_Cakes's avatar

Brad Pitt is attractive, but not sexy to me. Pete Davidson is sexy, but I wouldn’t say that he’s great looking.

Ameer Adbullah is both. :)

SEKA's avatar

There’s 3 that pop into my mind. In his younger days, I would say that Fabio was hot yet I didn’t see him as sexy. Michael Bolton was the same. Rod Stewart is the third that I’d put in that category

Dutchess_III's avatar

I agree with all three of those @SEKA

tinyfaery's avatar

Oh my god, @Mama_Cakes coming out of obscurity for this questions. I think Pete Davidson’s personality is sexy, which makes him appear sexy. ¯\(ツ)

@janbb so it’s more the wording you find problematic?

We concluded that yes, a man can be one or the other or both. Sexy is an extremely subjective and tricky topic.

janbb's avatar

Yes, I see hot and sexy as virtually the same but that a man can be attractive or handsome and not be either of the former words.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Fred Mcfeely Rogers. From mr. Rogers Neighbourhood.

Jonsblond's avatar

Do you have more pics of Brad Pitt?


gorillapaws's avatar

I would think there could be a guy who is really good looking but has some very deep personality flaws that would make him “unbeddable.”

I wouldn’t be able to have sex with a white supremacist, no matter how good she looks—as an example. Or a hot girl with bad hygiene? Or gross personal habits?

JLeslie's avatar

I think of hot and sexy as synonymous, but if I really think about it, a man can be sexy and not physically drop dead gorgeous, and it’s the drop dead gorgeous that makes a man hot. Sexy can be more about how the man carries himself, even bough smart or funny he is, I guess hot can be more associated with looks, but I personally would use the two words in the same way.

I don’t use either term for men though. Not with any regularity. I don’t know if I ever use those terms for men? I use, gorgeous, beautiful, attractive, and good looking.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Physical looks are not as important to me as personality. So a guy can be drop dead gorgeous, but I might not be at all interested in bedding him, even if he was willing….which, in my experience they always were.

josie's avatar

My avatar

Hopefully one way or the other?

Strauss's avatar

I haven’t been called hot or sexy in a long time!

Dutchess_III's avatar

Little bit of both @josie! ♥

deni's avatar

Great example – David Duchovny is not maybe traditionally hot, but he is SOOOOOOOOOO SEXY. Damn, I mean, wow, don’t even get me started on that man. Mulderrrrr yes please!!

Overall though no, they are not the same thing, and I agree with you. I can think of lots of people I personally know, who are hot or sexy or handsome or whatever, but that I am not really interested in having sex with. It’s a pretty fascinating thing really, the distinction between the types of attraction. Great question.

Dutchess_III's avatar

During my dating years, I actively avoided the really physically attractive men, mainly because they all seemed so conceited and cock sure (ha ha.) I gravitated toward men who were into athletics. I found athletic men to be the sexiest.

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther