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H426279N's avatar

I need relationship help. What should I do?

Asked by H426279N (14points) 1 month ago

I texted this guy so much and we were really close. He asked me out a lot but I said I wasn’t ready for a relationship. He seemed fine with it and said he would wait but kept pressuring me and taking up all my time. Eventually, I had enough and told him I needed a break. Now he’s really depressed and said he wants to die. What do I do!? Am I even over him?? What should I think and feel?

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6 Answers

snowberry's avatar

It may be true, but the “depression” because you needed a break is a huge red flag. He’s unstable and you absolutely do not want him for a partner at this point in his life. If you want to, tell him that you will help him find help. But beyond that I don’t recommend staying around.

You dodged a bullet!

kritiper's avatar

What @snowberry said!!!
If you try to stick around more and more, the more he will try to hang on, the more drastic he will become, and the harder it will be to pull away.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Red flag warning! That’s emotional and psychological manipulation, and it’s not okay. Run and don’t look back. Women often get suckered into being with these guys and end up regretting it.

gorillapaws's avatar

I agree with the above, but also be sure you’re not stringing him along either.

I’ve definitely been in situations where women in my life strung me along as very flirtatious friends for a long time. Maybe they enjoyed the attention from me? They liked having a “reserve” guy? Whatever it is, it’s not kind to the guy. So if you’re not interested in him, make it 100% clear that you have no—and will never have any—romantic feelings for him.

As for helping him find help, that a different thing completely and you should offer to do that. Just make it clear.

Inspired_2write's avatar

“I texted this guy “So Much” and we were really close”

Well that would make a person believe that you wanted more time with him, wouldn’t you say?
Perhaps discuss THAT reason to him and get back on track to just acquaintances or friends with firm boundaries.

H426279N's avatar

Hey, thanks for all the answers, they helped me make my mind up. It’s still hard though, especially because he blocked me and reduces to talk to me IRL. I have to see him everyday which can also be hard as we have classes together and takes so much effort to avoid each other.
To answer you, @gorillapaws ; yes, he definitely knows I’m not interested. When we texted, I thought I might be stringing him along which was why I made it clear we were JUST friends and then he left and didn’t text me anymore. I felt bad that he believed it was more, but I swear I never intended or tried to make him feel that way.

And as to @Inspired_2write ; I wanted to spend time with him as friends, but when I made sure he knew that, he left me and wasn’t interested in talking anymore. It was kind of hurtful, but I guess if maybe it was too hard for him then I respect that.

But thank you all! <3

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