General Question

PredatorGanazX's avatar

How long can one survive an unrequitted love?

Asked by PredatorGanazX (222points) September 9th, 2008

Loving a girl who don’t love you back how long can you wait . can you really make someone fall for you ?

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12 Answers

AstroChuck's avatar

With enough duct tape and a crawlspace you can get anyone to fall for you. Believe me.

breedmitch's avatar

At least with unrequited love, you know it will last forever.

ciripet's avatar

does it work on a man ? then i will try the duct tape

PredatorGanazX's avatar

Just in case it creates a miss communication ,, it is suppose to falling in love with someone.

PredatorGanazX's avatar

Last forever ? Isn’t love suppose to meet half way ?

sndfreQ's avatar

I’ve referred to this term before in other discussions, but a friend originally turned me on to the concept (seems applicable to your question):


PredatorGanazX's avatar

Thanks a bunch mate really appreciate that. How bout the rest that can share the experience here that will be more valuable ...

Les's avatar

@predator: No, no, and no once more. All you will get is pain and sadness whilst waiting for her. Believe me. I have been in this situation. Twice. Both times I was the one who was smitten for the guy, and he obviously had no interest in me, though he had an odd way of showing it. There is no reason for you to pine over someone who doesn’t love you back. And yeah, maybe the person will eventually fall in love with you, but is that what you really want? Wouldn’t you rather have someone who loves you for who you are? Someone who smiles just thinking about you? Someone who can’t wait to see you at the end of a long, hard day? Or do you really want to be with someone who eventually thought maybe she could be with you?

I don’t know. Sounds like a pretty miserable situation if you ask me.

PredatorGanazX's avatar

Fully noted Les but it is not that easy just to let go entirely.

Les's avatar

@predator: No, I know that. But you asked for someone’s opinion who experienced something like what you describe, and that is who I am, and why I responded. Believe me, I know it is very, excruciatingly difficult to let go. I’ve done it, as I said, twice. You’ll feel like you will never love again, and you’ll feel foolish for feeling like you’ll never love again. And then you’ll feel depressed that you feel foolish for feeling like you’ll never love again. And best of all, you’ll get angry that someone made you feel depressed, foolish and lovelorn. But you will prevail, and I promise you, the grass is greener, and the sky is clearer on this side.

dalepetrie's avatar

I was head over heels with a girl from about 3rd grade until I graduated college. She and I became great friends, but never brought it any further than that. Long story short, after graduation, I moved on to my career and met someone. I’ve been with her for 14 1/2 years, we are married and have a 7 year old son. At times I couldn’t imagine a life without this girl, now I don’t even think about her, I’ll probably never see her again, and I’m OK with that.

What I found was that my unrequited love was an idealized version of reality…I wouldn’t have believed that at the time, but if I could go back and get together with her, that would change the future, I’d probably not have my wife and son and THAT is a LOT more painful to consider than it EVER was to think about my unrequited love oh so many years ago.

The other thing I realized was that out of fear, embarrassment or whatever, I never acted, and I am not 100% convinced that she wouldn’t have gone out with me if I’d have asked. But I was so worried about the consequences that I didn’t realize that some day, either my actions would have paid off, or they would not even be a factor in my day to day life. If I’d asked her out and she’d shot me down, my life today would be no different than it is now, and this is the life I want. But if time were put in reverse, and all memory of what I was losing (my wife and son) were wiped from me, and all I retained was the sense that no matter what I was scared of, there really WAS nothing to be scared of, I’d have gone for it.

It’s a heavy concept, but essentially, whether you make a move or not could or could not impact your future, and that could be good or bad, and there’s just no way of knowing what the best, ultimate path would be for you, but chances are, no matter what, it will all work out. What you need to know is, the love will never stop being unrequited if you don’t take action, period…it’s not likely to just all fall into place some day. And number two, if you never fulfill this need within you, some day, something will make you forget.

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