Social Question

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

When is it ok and not ok to touch someone? (SFW)

Asked by RedDeerGuy1 (20675points) 4 weeks ago

Like a hug or a back pat?

How does one learn the skill?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

11 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

It is a matter of consent. Never assume it is okay, always ask if you can hug someone.

It only takes four simple words: “Can I hug you?”

Blackberry's avatar

You shouldn’t even be asking the question.
Don’t touch strangers or co workers at all.
Only touch family and friends you’ve known for decades, and even then you better read body language.

It doesn’t matter how nice and well meaning you are.

I’ve been physically and verbally abused growing up and sometimes I don’t even want my wife touching me.

janbb's avatar

I agree with @zenvelo. Asking and receiving consent is the way to go.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Thanks @all You where all very helpful.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Yeah that’s tricky. I’m a hugger but only with friends or family- unless the other person reaches for me first, then I can usually tolerate it briefly.

Be careful though, it’s tolerated in women far more often than men. Especially full frontal hugs, those can make many people cringe.

canidmajor's avatar

Even asking can be a bit fraught. It puts a burden on the askee who may feel obligated to say yes, even when they don’t want to.

janbb's avatar

Personally, i would hate to live in a world where no touch ever is allowed but I agree it is a very “touchy” topic and probably best to be very sensitive to the vibes or needs of others. If you aren’t good at picking up cues or asking with some grace, it’s best not to engage.

YARNLADY's avatar

My son hugged a woman he thought was a good friend at a club event and she reported him to the organizers as “sexual assault” and got him kicked out of the club. His wife and her husband were standing right there. Always ask first.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I always ask my grandkids, since they were very small, if I could hug them or hold them. At 18 months my grandson would back into me to give consent. At 7 years old he still does it!

LostInParadise's avatar

The rule for men is to avoid anything beyond a handshake. Society gives women much more latitude in the forms of touching that they are allowed to do, including hugging and even a kiss on the cheek.

Nomore_Tantrums's avatar

I ask my grands to give old PawPaw a hug now and then..and we have a ritual that I have to hug them all and tell them bye when I go to work. They act like I’m going to China. I even ask my wife if I can get a big hug when I need one. Otherwise I’m not a huggy feely type of person.

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