Social Question

janbb's avatar

If you had the choice, would you rather have a circle of good friends or one "soul mate"?

Asked by janbb (62973points) 3 weeks ago

Or nobody close to you at all?

Just an interesting question I ponder from time to time.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

21 Answers

jca2's avatar

Soul mate meaning a lover that I am also deeply connected to?

ragingloli's avatar

Friends are exhausting, and I have no room for a cat.

SnipSnip's avatar

Life is not all it can be without both.

janbb's avatar

@jca2 Yes, a lover/partner.

zenvelo's avatar

A Small Circle of Friends as described by Phil Ochs.

Forever_Free's avatar

I have Always preferred a circle of good friends.

filmfann's avatar

A soul mate!

smudges's avatar

A lover/partner cannot fulfill all of anyone’s needs and it’s wrong to expect that of them. It puts too much responsibility on them. To be psychologically healthy, one needs both.

chyna's avatar

I think good friends.

canidmajor's avatar

I’m with @chyna, good friends.

LadyMarissa's avatar

Since you specified If you had a choice, most definitely one Soul Mate!!! Good friends come & go. Lovers come & go. But, you only get ONE Soul Mate!!!

I know firsthand what it’s like to have both good friends & a Soul Mate. The Soul Mate was more dependable & reliable. I know what it’s like to lose that Soul Mate & keep the good friends. I just didn’t get to experience what it was like to keep the Soul Mate & lose the good friends. I have lost a few good friends in my lifetime. Going off that, I miss the good friends but it wasn’t life changing where losing my Soul Mate was devastating!!!

seawulf575's avatar

I don’t believe there is such a thing as a “soul mate”. To me, a soul mate is someone who feels the same as I do, who wants the same things, etc. I don’t believe that exists anywhere and to me, I think that would be boring. I believe there are really good friends. If they are of the opposite sex, that makes for a much better romantic relationship. But the differences in people can add a joy to life.

janbb's avatar

@seawulf575 I may have been using the term more loosely than your definition. What I meant is that you have an intimate loving relationship with one person.

seawulf575's avatar

@janbb I have a lot of acquaintances, a few friends, and really only a couple really good friends. And what is funny, or at least how I differentiate between the friends and the really good friends is how we get along and for how long. Example: I have a really good friend that I met when I was 18. He was the best man at my first wedding. We might go years without seeing each other, but when we do, we both look forward to it and we basically interact the same way we always have. We haven’t missed a beat. That is rare.

But loving relationships are likewise rare. I married a woman I loved and she ended up being someone I had never met. She was borderline psycho. It made me question “loving relationships”. I dated quite a few women after the divorce but all of them were missing that spark. I narrowed my criteria for a woman to get serious with down to 3 things. It was amazing how few women could meet those 3 things. I eventually met my current wife who is a great woman. She met the 3 criteria and I knew she was for me. I love her, she loves me, but it isn’t what most people call a soul mate.

I consider the very good friends to be loving relationships, though with the guys it isn’t sexual in nature.

cookieman's avatar

When I was young, I valued a group of good friends.

Later, I really appreciated having a ‘soul mate’.

Now, I just want to be left alone.

janbb's avatar

^^ No cookies for you then!

chyna's avatar

@cookieman. I totally get that!

cookieman's avatar

@chyna: Right? It’s not that I dislike the friends I have and I certainly love my wife and daughter, but more often than not, I’m looking for quiet and peace.

@janbb: One cookie?

janbb's avatar

@cookieman OK, but one only!

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