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Amish_Ninja's avatar

How to get over love?

Asked by Amish_Ninja (225points) October 4th, 2008

I’ve been head over heels in love with this guy that is around 3 years older than me. Sure that may not seem bad for some people, but I’m 16 and he’s 19. If I tell him I’ve liked him for over 3 years now, I will mostly get rejected since he’s in college. I wish I could get over this love for someone that will never love me back for now.

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13 Answers

trumi's avatar

I’m trying to get over a close friend right now. Two weeks ago I told her how I felt after about a 2 years of waiting, and she just wants to be friends. So I’ve been pretty depressed. And I know that she just wants to be friends, but I have this little voice in my chest that keeps giving me hope that she’ll change her mind. I need to snuff it out. In the meantime, we’ve decided to stop talking. Gone from 100 texts and a phone call every day to nothing. I can’t tell if it hurts worse talking to her and wishing for more, or not talking to her and missing her.

But it will work. Time and distance are the two biggest factors in getting over a person. But what comes first is the acceptance that it will never happen. If you don’t do that, you can leave for ten years and still be in love when you get back.

If you find out how to kill the little voice of hope, let me know. ASAP. I’m going crazy here.

Anyway, time and distance. Get some space when he goes to college, try to forget about him.

And just because everybody goes through this stuff as a teen doesn’t take away from how you feel. Don’t let anybody tell you you’re just a dumb kid.

susanc's avatar

Don’t get over it, darling, save this feeling, it’s essential. Save the feeling and
the acting-on-it may actually happen with someone more “appropriate: that you’ll
feel a similar feeling for in the future. Sorry this hurts. Feel the hurt, you can stand it – learn from it. Don’t try to kill the love. Love is good. And you’re not dumb (see above).
You’re wise and kind.

Amish_Ninja's avatar

I want to do the time and distance thing, but it’s going to be hard for me. My best friend’s his neighbor and her brother and him are friends. We often go to the school by her house to play some sports and he tags along. I really don’t want to give away my enjoyment to get away from him.

I’ll try my best to learn from the hurting and I figure that things can only get better from here.

queenzboulevard's avatar

Offer him something he can’t refuse…

Amish_Ninja's avatar

Such as? It better not be what I think it is…

trumi's avatar

Yes, he means sex. Which most of Fluther would advise against, myself included.

Amish_Ninja's avatar

Yes, no tempting with sex, thanks. I don’t want him to get in trouble anyway.

skfinkel's avatar

I was going to say something like what SusanC said: Savor the feeling of love. Treasure it. It is sacred. And rare. If it becomes years of grief, that’s something else, but a sweet crush—just be there.

susanc's avatar

Oh Amish Ninja, you are doing SOOOOOO well.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

Infatuation and not love.
Love is shared by two people not just one way.

TheCouncil's avatar

I will say the one thing that has helped me through this same thing. It hurts the least and should hopefully help. If it is meant to be it will be. Maybe not right now. It could be in a year or five. You could lose touch and run in to each other five years from now and if it is love it will work out. If it isn’t then I am sure you will find it.

loser's avatar

Time and retail therapy.

lovable's avatar

The feeling is worth savoring. Don’t you get that good feeling that makes you want to just fly or the butterflies that just seem to tingle in your heart?? Keep the feeling and be happy that you feel this way and be even happier in the future when you get him in your arms snuggled in a couch watching a movie.

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