General Question

gimmedat's avatar

Would you let your teenager get a tattoo for this reason?

Asked by gimmedat (3951points) December 21st, 2008 from iPhone

A freshman in high school got a cross with the name of her deceased sister tattooed on the inside of her wrist. I was shocked when my daughter told me the story, and my daughter was equally shocked that I wasn’t as impressed with this permanent devotional ink. I can’t justify, for any reason, letting my teenager get a tattoo, let alone one in such a prominent spot.

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41 Answers

srmorgan's avatar

Not at all.
None of my three have tattoos, as far as I know, the youngest was 18 on Saturday.

I am not paying for it and if I see one, some amount of money will be deducted from college tuition or added to what they pay for their autos.

It is a short-term decision and short-term waste of money with long term implications.

SRM

mrdh's avatar

I don’t think the inside of a wrist is a prominent spot, you could easily hide it with a watch or bracelet.
And if there’s a deep meaning behind the ink, I don’t see why not. If it’s a tribal band or flames or something equally tacky, no.

skfinkel's avatar

Nope. Better they might write a poem about the lost sister.

SoapChef's avatar

<—That is on my ankle. Coming from someone that has been inked, I find it to be a tremendously personal and permanent form of self expression. When I was a teenager, I would not have dreamed of getting a tattoo. In fact that thought process prevailed until I was about forty five years old. I am now fifty and thinking about having one removed. No to inking teenagers. They don’t know it yet but they will thank you for it someday.

rossi_bear's avatar

I can understand why she would have wanted it, and be able to see her sister at any point in time. but at that age it is really not a good idea. maybe when she was older but at that age anything can change and she might not like it there. she could have put it in a different spot maybe. But just don’t think at that age is right to put something so permanent on her.but again i do see her point. she misses her sister and is sad that she is gone.It might be her way of rememberance her sister. and thought that it might be a sweet way to do just that.

laureth's avatar

At that age, you have no idea what’s going to happen in the rest of your life, although they often think they have it already all figured out. If they still feel that way at 18, or thirty, get the ink then, but be aware that a big enough, prominent enough tattoo is a career-limiting move.

Perchik's avatar

Why does it matter what someone else’s child did? They’re not your child.

laureth's avatar

It doesn’t, at least to me. However, the question was if I’d let my kid get a tattoo for that reason. I don’t think I would.

gimmedat's avatar

@Perchik, in the bigger scheme of things, it doesn’t matter, you’re absolutely right. However, I thought it was an interesting decision on the part of my daughter’s friend’s parents and am looking for some insight from others.

Judi's avatar

The employment stygma is diminishing. If it didn’t there would be no one to work anymore.

tiffyandthewall's avatar

though i guess it depends on the parents’ personal preferences, i think that kid had a much better reason than some of the kids at my school who get tribal tattoos or whatever just for the hell of it.

EnzoX24's avatar

When I was a sophomore or junior in High School my friend got a tattoo to remember his deceased father. I think people are keeping the wrong mindset about tattoos. I see them no different than a memorial painting, its just a different canvas.

jessturtle23's avatar

I got a memorial tattoo when I was a teenager for my best friend. It’s a good reminder for me but it gets old when strangers read it and ask what happened. Some have even said that she was going to hell when I tell them she committed suicide. Stupid bible belt. I consider a memorial tattoo a form of mourning.

PupnTaco's avatar

No, she can memorialize something like that in another way.

desiree333's avatar

@ soap chef, that tattoo, on your ankle. Its a squid or octapus right? Is that dedicated to fluther? Do you love fluther that much? Enough to get a permanent tattoo on it??

Vincentt's avatar

@desiree333 – you don’t have a Fluther tattoo? How did you ever get to be a member here? You’re obliged to have one if you want to be part of the Fluther sect! ;-)

judochop's avatar

I am covered in tattoos (http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=63264907&albumID=7159&imageID=33842351) so I will do my best to not be bias.

Memorial tattoos have their place and yes I believe it is a great way to honor family, friends and memories. I do not believe that any tattoo has a spot on anyone’s body when they are only 14/15 years old despite how much meaning it has behind it unless it is a religious tattoo. As far as the location, the inside of the wrist is not such a prominet spot. You can easily hide this. Even with tattoos from both my wrists to my shoulders and knees to feet and stomach, etc.. You would never know that I had any of these when I wear a suit. It also helps that I do not dress like a biker and don’t talk like a drunken sailor. Tattoos in my opinion do not have any place on your body until you are at least 18 years old but when you are dealing with the loss of a child and the loss of your sister how are you as a parent to not give a little in this very special situation? Just as long as she does not start getting flaming skulls wrapped around a dead naked body and she keeps it clean with things that mean something to her I am sure she will do just fine in the professional world. SO in short, to answer your question….No I would not let my child get a tattoo but I would help her find a great artist I would help keep the idea alive and yes, possibly take her for her 18th birthday.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

eh tattoos really depend on what background you have. if you’re really religious or traditional then tattoos are not acceptable, if you are the opposite maybe you want your kid to get a tattoo. Personally if I was a parent, I wouldn’t let my kids get tattoos either. when you’re 14 forever is 18, and then once you realize its not, you realize you were a dumb kid and wish your parents would of been stricter about certain things.

SoapChef's avatar

@desiree Nope I’ve had that jellyfish for four or five years. I laughed when I happened across fluther.I love fluther, but not enough to get a tattoo for it.
Sorry to disappoint you Vincentt, didn’t mean to take the wind out of your snarkey sails, :0)

galileogirl's avatar

The Victorians made Pins, necklaces, brooches made from the hair of the deceased loved ones hair as memorials. That has a certain euuww factor but at least it doesn’t mark the wearer for life. I feel that tattoos are distinctly meant to scream “Look at me” more than honoring anyone. If it was about honoring it would be more private. How does a tattoo show more respect than say a bracelet with the name inscribed. Isn’t it interesting that one poster doesn’t like it when people are interested in his/her tattoos? What do you expect when you become a living billboard?

90s_kid's avatar

That must be emo because don’t they use some razor thing to make tattoos. Let her get a tattoo, but I wouldn’t let my kids get it in their wrist.

I personally think tattoos aren’t bad. I just have a fear of them because they never come off—what if I want one to come off?
I’ll only get a tattoo later in life if I am sure I want it. And I will not end up being like a person with tattoos all over their arms. haha :D

judochop's avatar

Whoa galileogirl: You could not be farther from the true meaning behind tattoos. Most of my friends do not have tattoos and there are tons of people that I deal with on a daily basis that do not even know that I have tattoos. I don’t think (all) people who love tattoos are screaming “look at me.” I think you are generalizing and are really being brash with the “living billboard” comment. The day I ever get an advertisment tattooed on to my skin please shoot me. With all that said aside. I started getting tattoos while in the military. When I left the military I wanted to cover my tattoos up with something non-military which has now left me covered in wonderful artwork that I love, based off of some of my fave artists in the world as well as a few amazing memorial tattoos. What shows dedication and love for someone more than putting it in your skin for the rest of your life? Having something put into your skin shows more respect to me than a bracelet for a few reasons.
1. It hurts to get.
2. You can never take it off.
3. It is a unique and special way to remember someone.
4. There is also a unique bond and story you can share in remembrance of the honored loved one.
This tradition dates back, way, way back.

judochop's avatar

Check this stuff out:

While there are no records and no one can be entirely sure, the history of tattoo seems to show that tattooing probably first made an appearance almost 40,000 years ago, in the Upper Paleolithic era (the Stone Ages). Evidence of tattooing – bone tattoo tools and pigments – occurring this early has been found in a cave in France during a recent excavation.From then on, tattooing was most probably present in almost all cultures around the world, to some extent or other. The rise and fall of tattooing doesn’t seem to have followed a particular pattern, but some highlights of the trend have been broken down below.
The oldest mummy every found – dated back to the Bronze Age of Europe – is also the oldest example of tattooing. The mummy had 59 tattoos, including stripes, lines, and cruciform marks on various parts of his body, and thus began the history of tattoos. No one is sure of the meaning of the tattoos – some may have been marking from his tribe, others may have been from rituals or even from medical procedures. Speculation abounds, but true reasons will be difficult to determine unless new evidence is found.

Women (and only women) were tattooed in Egypt in 1550 BC. While tattooing seems to have been around in Egypt before this time, this is when the simple dot and dash designs began to morph into recognizable forms, although most were still largely stick figures.

In 316 BC, the first known written ban on tattooing is found. Constantine, recently converted to Christianity, prohibited tattooing on the face as it was disfiguring that “which had been fashioned in the likeness of divine beauty.”

Much of the tattooing done during this time period was often to identify tribes or families, mark criminals and spies, ward off illness or injury, worship in various religions, and show status. While it is possible that some tattooing was done for artistic purposes, the tattoos were often simple and primitive, making them more simple marks than the artistry we see today.

In Japan, the Yakuza, an organized crime syndicate, used full-body tattoos as a way of both identifying members and making members prove commitment to the group. In Great Britain, the Danes, Norse, and Saxons tattooed themselves with family crests to show their own familial affiliations until the last eleventh century when the Normans invaded and put an end to the practice.

William Dampher and Captain Cook were both responsible for re-introducing tattooing and garnering interest in tattooing in the upper classes in England. Both brought tattooed men back from their travels – Dampher brought the Painted Prince from Polynesia, and Cook brought Omai from Polynesia. The Painted Prince was a curiosity, but it wasn’t until Omai came to England that tattooing began to surge in popularity.

The history of tattooing is by no means restricted from nobility. Over time, kings, queens, and czars have had tattoos. King Harold of England (1020–1066) was identified after his death on the battlefield by a tattoo over his heart – “Edith.” King Edward VII of England had a Jerusalem Cross on his forearm, and King George V of England had a dragon on his forearm. Other members of royalty with tattoos include Czar Nicholas II of Russia, Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany, and Queen Olga of Greece.

Early American tattoos tended to be memorial tattoos. During the Civil War, tattoo artists often worked near battlefields, creating tattoos in memory of fallen soldiers and comrades, the military life, and American patriotism in general.

*It wasn’t until 1891 when Samuel O’Reily patented his tattoo machine in New York that tattoos truly grew in popularity among the general public in America, however. Using Edison’s “electric pen” design, O’Reily’s creation allowed everyone to get a tattoo. This was both good and bad – the average man was more likely to get tattoos, but tattooing in the upper class began to become less popular as it was no longer a status symbol. *

gimmedat's avatar

I have five tattoos, three of which are pretty easily seen. I am a tattoo person, I don’t have tattoos so that people notice me. I just don’t think it’s a great idea to let a teenager get a tattoo. I understand wanting to memorialize someone, but making that choice as a kid seems a bit extreme.

desiree333's avatar

@judochop, OMG enough information?

desiree333's avatar

Personally, I think tattoos are kind of unneccesary. If you want to make some art about your deceased family member etc, make a painting and hang it on your wall. Why would you want the art on your body? I guess some really small tattoos are okay, some peope can pull it off, others can’t. But people with tattoos all over their entire body just look like clowns..

SoapChef's avatar

Thanks for the background on tattooing judochop. It was informative and interesting.

tinyfaery's avatar

I just have to laugh every time the word “let” is used when it comes to teenagers.

And yeah. Every single tattoo I have is so someone will look at me; especially the tattoos that no one can see.∼

judochop's avatar

@desiree: I agree, why not make a painting and hang it on your wall? For me it really is something different and for other cultures it is something different. I believe in honoring a past friend or family member or even a pet in a much different way than you. Does that make me a clown because I wear the memory of them on my skin? Does this make the young girl who got a memorial tattoo for her sister, a clown? That just seems silly to me and very closed. If people were to shun folks based on what they look like or because they don’t feel the same way you do then you are going to miss out on a world full of beautiful and interesting people.
I do agree that some people have some pretty silly tattoos but who am I to tell them how to live or how to be viewed?
Sorry for the mass amount of info, this just happens to be a subject that really gets me going. I love tattoos and I hate how people still to this day view people with tattoos as a lesser part of society. I just don’t get it. I’m not saying that any of you do this at all but I am sure those of you with tattoos know what I am talking about.
example: I consulted for FedEx and Kinko’s during their merger. I wore a suit to the office everyday. Gave presentations to the owner of Kinko’s and the head CEO of FedEx. We had laughs together, dinner together and with a large group even had a paperball fight. You would think (if you had walked in on us) that we were all cut from the same cloth. Months later at the gym, in the locker room I ran in to a counter part of mine who made such a huge deal about me having tattoos that I actually had to have a sit down with my boss and his boss about how important it was to never let the client know. I am happy to say that I walked out of my job the very next day, after wiping my client folder clean. Judging a book by it’s cover is something that we are taught to never do. In church, in school, from our parents. It just amazes me folks still do it. c’est la vie.

tinyfaery's avatar

Wow judochop. I wear long sleeves to my not too conservative law office job. I always wonder what would happen if they saw my upper arm sleeve outside of work. I always make sure to keep my tattoos covered even when I am in the parking structure.
Part of me thinks I’m really overreacting, after all, my co-workers and bosses are cool, and I do live in L.A. But I still wonder.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

Yeah whats up with all the hating on people with tattoos? It doesn’t make anyone a bad person, unless they are affiliating with a gang or something. But that doesn’t make all tattoos bad.

Jack79's avatar

I really wanted to get a tatoo as a kid. Glad I didn’t. I had this cousin who was full of them, used to spend tonnes of money on new, really elaborate and very beautiful tattos. Now he’s spending even more money to remove them.

I’ve always said that it’s one of the things that would drive me nuts. And I’m pretty sure my daughter will get one as soon as she finishes kindergarten, just to piss me off.

galileogirl's avatar

It is interesting that LK considers a disagreement about tattoos is “hating” The original question was about letting a minor girl get a tattoo. The fact that the parent is required to give permission in itself answers the question. If the girl is so moved to permanently mark her body as a memorial or any other reason. then she can wait a couple of years when she doesn’t need to get parental permission. She should also think about if this is an appropriate way to remember family and friends, If one is going to tattoo a wrist for a school friend, what parts will be tattooed when parents, grandparents, siblings and friends pass away over the years. And do you really want to be wearing long sleeves to work, church and formal occasions when you get past this stage of your life?

judochop's avatar

It was not her school friend that died. It was her sister.
Over the heart is traditionally reserved for mother/father memorial tattoos.
As for answering the question, you never answered it.

galileogirl's avatar

So with 4 grandparents, 2 parents, ? siblings and at least one spouse, how long will the list trail down the center of her torso? (One’s heart is to the right and below where one places the hand during te pledge) And isn’t the gluteous maximus traditionally reserved for hot boyfriends? lol

judochop's avatar

LOL, I can have a laugh with you. I really need to lighten up on this topic. As with anything there is a limit. I have three memorial tattoos.
2 birds (called rise and shine birds) that my cousin had on himself before he died several years ago.
1 Day of the Dead Skull dressed in gold that represents fallen soldiers, family members, and friends.
I reserve my heart for my parents and god forbid, my wife and daughter. As for making a list down an entire body, I have never seen that but I am sure that it has been done. Mexicans traditionally (if in to tattoos) place a tattoo on their body for every dead family member.
As for tattoos on the gluteous maximus, I believe that spot is reserved for names of people you don’t like, roflcopter.

galileogirl's avatar

If nothing else tattoos are an incentive for keeping fit. Imagine all those skulls and flames stretching out then collapsing in on themselves as skin loses its fight with gravity and breasts start their inevitable movement toward the equator.

judochop's avatar

well I have no flames and the skull I have is a sugar skull. Mostly swans, birds, fu dogs and butterflys wrapped around cherry blossoms and a pendent from my daughter. Nothing very macho goin on here.

galileogirl's avatar

As you pass 55 expect those birds to be dragging more than soaring…Things your mother never told you…

judochop's avatar

Yeah. I will have to make the joke that they are all flying south. My father has military tattoos as did both my grandfathers. I’m 34. I know what they look like at 90. With the new inks and great art you’d be suprised.

augustlan's avatar

I would not let my daughters get a tattoo for any reason until they are of legal age to make that decision for themselves. Their father is tattooed, so we don’t see it as a ‘bad’ thing, just a permanent one. It’s a big decision to make for one so young.

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