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eeyore200343's avatar

Fluther?

Asked by eeyore200343 (175points) January 9th, 2009

why do i ask a question and then minutes later the whole thing has gone?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

49 Answers

augustlan's avatar

Was it removed by a moderator?

robmandu's avatar

How do you mean exactly?

I envision two scenarios:

1. You post a new question. But it takes a couple of minutes to actually show up on the main Fluther page. That’s fine and is to be expected. No worries.

2. You post a new question. But it’s tragically flawed in some way, failing to meet Fluther’s guidelines. In that case, it may be intentionally removed by a moderator. If so, you’ll also get an email asking you to rework the question so that it can be reposted.

qualitycontrol's avatar

this happened to me before but I received no email. I think it’s a conspiracy.

eeyore200343's avatar

why would people remove things that i need help with?

augustlan's avatar

What was the question?

eeyore200343's avatar

it was about my boyfriend had a fetish bout adult babies

augustlan's avatar

Ah, well that explains it…probably not the place for that question!

Ort's avatar

@augustlan: You mean it was deemed pornography?

eambos's avatar

I don’t mean to be prying but, what is an adult baby?

eeyore200343's avatar

why not? there is worse questions than that! and its when an adult likes to dress, act, be fed like a baby

Snoopy's avatar

@eeyore200343 Your best bet is to contact the moderators and ask them directly….the rest of us would only be making educated guesses….

eeyore200343's avatar

why? fuck the stupid moderators! i needed help with somethin

robmandu's avatar

@eeyore200343, make sure you peruse the Fluther guidelines.

And then, if you feel the need to followup, use the Contact page.

Finally, note that the chatroom mentioned on the Contact page is monitored by the Fluther owners and mods. Even if the room is empty, you can still post your message there and it will be read by a real person later.

bythebay's avatar

Eeyore, you probably just answered your own question.

gailcalled's avatar

@eeyore; Your charm is winning us over.

augustlan's avatar

/stops following.

Vincentt's avatar

/starts following :P

eeyore200343's avatar

yeah well why cant i just have the same chance as anyone else. annoyed with fluther bastard moderators

cwilbur's avatar

You started out with the same chance as anyone else.

Your inability to follow the Fluther guidelines and your bad attitude and insults directed at moderators drastically reduced your chances.

eeyore200343's avatar

they deserve insults after what they did. sorry if i offended anyone here im just annoyed. the one thing i could turn to for advice has fucked me off!

robmandu's avatar

@eeyore200343, it’s a temporary rebuff… that’s all.

Whining here ain’t gonna fix it. Contact the mods.

I can tell you from personal experience that they will bend over backwards to help get your question into a suitable form that meets the guidelines and helps you find the answer you seek.

El_Cadejo's avatar

“fuck the stupid moderators! ” “annoyed with fluther bastard moderators” ohhh yea, reallll good way to get help on a site your new to…..

eeyore200343's avatar

wats it got to do wiv u?

robmandu's avatar

@eeyore200343, what’s it got to do with any of us here? You posted this (poorly named) question and now you’re getting replies.

EmpressPixie's avatar

Okay, so: You asked a question. You probably worded it poorly and violated terms somehow. You can re-write it to make it conform, while still getting at your question. Once you find this out, instead of saying, “Oh, that sounds good!” and doing so, you decide to mouth off at the moderators.

Mouthing off won’t get you anywhere. Re-writing your question will. I get that you’re annoyed, but take a breath, count to tend, do whatever to calm down and then just re-do your question.

There was a CSI about adult babies.

eeyore200343's avatar

all i wanted was a bit of advice and fluther removed everything. like i said before sorry if i offended anyone

EmpressPixie's avatar

Also: By “worded it poorly” I don’t mean you didn’t get the point across. I mean your question was probably a little too in-depth. Make the question something general, put the details—politely and properly—in the space after that.

bythebay's avatar

Your distress rings untrue. “the one thing i could turn to for advice has fucked me off!” I doubt Fluther is your one and only source for advice. You’ve got a computer, you’re sitting at it, go and Google baby adult fetish. I’m sure there’s a plethora of information. Chill out, now you are just annoying.

robmandu's avatar

Tangential: more on adult babies:

Paraphilic infantilism is a paraphilia characterized by the desire to wear diapers and be treated as an infant or toddler. One who engages in infantilistic play is known as an adult baby (AB). About one in three adult babies is also a diaper lover (DL), so they are collectively known as AB/DLs. The majority of infantilists are heterosexual males.

eeyore200343's avatar

i know what it means ive read all the websites i just wanted to know what normal people would do about it in my situation

EmpressPixie's avatar

Well your choices are basically 1. play along, 2. refuse to play along but tell him you don’t mind if he seeks a playmate outside your relationship, or 3. tell him you will never play along and if it is that important to him, he may leave you.

In the CSI I mentioned, the wife chooses number two.

eeyore200343's avatar

to be entirely honest i really dont think i could word my question in any other way i did

eeyore200343's avatar

i think i would pick number 3 i do love him though

EmpressPixie's avatar

But the question is really: Do you accept him as he is?

From what CSI said, and I know it’s not a top source of information, but it’s my reference at the moment, this kind of play doesn’t have to be sexual. I assume you don’t participate in all of his hobbies. If he had a lady friend that he went on intense hikes with, would you complain? If it’s not sexual, it’s weird, but basically like any other hobby of his that you aren’t into.

If it is sexual and it is important to him, well, you can tell him you aren’t interested now, cross that bridge when you come to it in hopes he’ll lose interest or you’ll gain interest, or try it once with him to give it a fair shake and then talk about it with him. Find out exactly what he likes about it and talk about exactly what makes you uncomfortable with it. Maybe there is a compromise.

eeyore200343's avatar

i cant compromise with it. i have no intention of ever doing anythin like this. i will not even try i refuse. it isnt sexual he said it a comfort thing i want to be a girlfriend not a mum. there is no way i can do anything like this and still have a healthy sexual relationship

robmandu's avatar

Okay… so the Question is: What would you do if your s.o. wanted to engage in some adult baby play?

And…

@eeyore200343‘s answer seems to be that she’d just say No. No way. No how.

@EmpressPixie‘s answer seems to be that s/he’d try to find a compromise.

Anyone else willing to weigh in?

bythebay's avatar

If someone I loved proposed a sexual situation to me that I could in no way entertain and/or tolerate, I would hope they would understand. If they weren’t willing to give up their dream and I couldn’t persuade myself to participate in that dream, on any level – that would be a deal breaker.

eeyore200343's avatar

i cant see him or talk to him or anything

bythebay's avatar

You can do whatever you want to do. Good Luck.

jlm11f's avatar

[mod says:] Your question about fetishes was removed due to the vague question title, which was “Fetish?” According to guidelines, a question title should let the reader know what the question is about, so they can decide whether it’s one they want to participate in answering. A good question title would have been “What should I do about my boyfriend having a fetish for adult babies?” and then in the details you could have further explained the scenario. This question should also be removed for the same reason. Your question should have been something like “Why was my previous question removed?” Though, next time you have a moderator related question, I suggest you PM one of the mods with your question since others will not know why your question was removed. If a question is removed you are sent an email explaining the reason and how you can edit the question. The Fluther support email probably went to your hotmail junk filter and that is why you didn’t see it. Add support@fluther.com to your Safe List in your hotmail, and you shouldn’t have this problem again.

We typically do not respond to mod complaints publicly and do it via PM. But since we are going to let this question stay, because of the exemplary answers provided by the other jellies, I am responding to your concerns here instead of PM. If you have further questions regarding this matter, please feel free to PM me and I’ll try my best to help you.

Vincentt's avatar

See, the mods aren’t that bad ;-)

andrew's avatar

Isn’t PnL great, everyone?

Nimis's avatar

I am totally amused that Fluther is dispensing advice via CSI.
[lurve for EmpressPixie]

cwilbur's avatar

It’s like any other kink. There are a few options.

He can give up on it. It doesn’t sound like this is an option for him.

You can participate in it. It doesn’t sound like this is an option for you.

You can decline to participate in it, but allow him to do it with other people. This doesn’t sound like it’s something you’re willing to do.

And you can split up. It sounds like this is where you’re going, and if his interests are in the “it disgusts me” range rather than the “it isn’t my thing, but whatever” range, it’s probably for the best. Also, if you’re asking what “normal” people would do, there’s an implication there that he’s abnormal, and if you really do think that, then he’s probably better off single.

PupnTaco's avatar

Goo goo ga ga Fluther moderators!

eeyore200343's avatar

i just found a bottle and a dummy in his bedside cabinate!

robmandu's avatar

A “dummy”? Like one of those full-size realistic life dolls?

eeyore200343's avatar

no a dummy pacifyer soother whatever you call it

augustlan's avatar

Ah, a pacifier (binky?), and a baby bottle…well there are worse things, I suppose.

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