General Question

erin's avatar

How do you deal with haters?

Asked by erin (65points) January 10th, 2009

Having a bit of a web presence, I’ve found myself the victim of a bunch of personal attacks by a group of people who clearly have a lot of time on their hands. I’m not sure how to handle the situation. Acknowledge them or ignore them? I thought I’d extend the question to offline as well, and see if you guys have some advice on the best way to handle negative feedback and criticism (especially when it’s unconstructive!)

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18 Answers

90s_kid's avatar

I don’t know, but I am one of them. :)

Elumas's avatar

Pshhh I tell dem hatas to back da !@#$ off ya heard. DAWG.

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

Sometimes it’s a wake-up call to go back and re-read what I’ve written to determine if my communication of ideas could be clearer or misconstrued. If the negativism is due to a difference of opinion, then I tend acknowledge their right to their opinion, and move on. I find that some things I say need more context and more introspection.

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

If it’s in person, then I would either press the person for specific feedback to make it more constructive. As an example, if you play in a band, and someone says “you guys suck,” you could question them to determine what specifically they don’t like. Vocals, too loud, lead singer can’t sing, mixing, lyrics. With that feedback, “you suck” turns into ways to improve the band.

Most people do a poor job of articulating emotions or feelings and fall back on name-calling or generalities. If you can push them to correctly label the emotion, then it becomes better for you,. This is where a cultivating a good vocabulary comes in handy.

airairariel's avatar

if it’s poorly worded/grammatically wrong/riddled with spelling errors, i question their intelligence.
if it isn’t, then i just ignore it.
especially if it’s on a website like youtube or public message board. you tend to get a lot of immature 14 year olds running their mouths for no reason…

tinyvamp's avatar

I’ve been a victim of cyber crimes, lol. i’ve had many personal attacks where people send me instant messages threatening to kill me and cut my head off and i’ve even had my site hacked into and things deleted.

i learned to just ignore them or to laugh at them, they eventually just stopped because i wasn’t giving them the ammo they wanted.

Blondesjon's avatar

You need to understand that it’s your decision alone as to how a ‘hater’ affects your feelings. As I have stated on here before, everyone has a right to speak their mind. Just as you have the right to ignore it or take it to heart.

judochop's avatar

There will always be people with more time on their hands than you. It helps to ask them to be specific and if they are unable to point to anything of significance then ignore them. If you keep feeding the bears they will keep coming back for food getting deeper and deeper in to areas where you do not want them.
If it is something of significance than offer to make it better if you can, if you can’t then so be it.
There are always people who are going to rain on you no matter what. Cliches extend there way to people young and old and if they feel you do not fit their criteria then they will find a way to slam you. It’s too bad really, most of these people end up missing out on some really good people.
Last but not least, look at yourself thoroughly to see if you are in fact the problem and are not admitting it to yourself. That is always the hardest one to do of course but it provides the biggest pay off in the end; self awareness.

shadling21's avatar

I actually had a user respond to one of my Youtube videos with the comment, “You smell bad.” When people don’t care if a comment makes sense, they don’t care about what they are saying, and I don’t care about what they have to say.

It’s when their comment is well thought out that I step back and review what might have gone wrong. If they are just insulting my words, I argue for my words, and sometimes (rarely) that starts up a meaningful conversation. If they are insulting me, I ignore them or ask them “What do you really know about me, anyway?”

Haters who hate on anything and everything do not love. Not really. It’s not worth it to try to please them.

mcbealer's avatar

I have found this observation to be helpful in dealing with haters:

That, which we hate in others, is really something which we fear may be true of ourselves.

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

@mcbealer, very true. Also, happy, secure people do not say hateful things to others.

Jack79's avatar

ignore them

bythebay's avatar

Consider the source. And though you may actually have very little background on said source; clues such as vocabulary, typical posts/questions/responses, validity of response in correlation to your post or presence, will give you clues as to whether or not it’s even worth your time to read. A very wise fluther member reminded me not that long ago…“It’s just the internet, it’s just the internet.”

Mizuki's avatar

get the moderators to suspend their accounts

cwilbur's avatar

Respond once, making your points as clearly and comprehensively as you can. Then ignore them.

maybe_KB's avatar

haters can’t be choosy

gymnastchick729's avatar

these haters just want some reaction out of you… if u give them what they want, then they are satisfied and continue to do it again. usually, as hard as it is, i just ignore them. good luck

raven860's avatar

Isn’t their presence funny enough?... if not their need to make illogical statements and berate you with illogical compliments…turning them into despicable, unwanted, un-needed individuals. If they are doing it in public just laugh…i mean seriously its so hard not to. Also be proud that your thoughts and actions make these completely destroy their public image. Personally, I classify such people as A grade losers. Also, learn to ignore them…I mean their measly annoying attempts get boring after a while. There are some who might insult you covertly through a PM or something…you can make those public and lol & lmao as appropriate.

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