General Question

kevinhardy's avatar

How can I get help for my problems?

Asked by kevinhardy (520points) February 24th, 2009

having kids, losing everything that matters to me.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

53 Answers

chelseababyy's avatar

Can you elaborate on things a little more?

kevinhardy's avatar

well Im homal day cleaning and protecting my things, people in my nighbrohood , brother included are telling me to stay out of my hobbies by telling negative things like I have no life,like I cant my property in my room.
they also bug me because i use the internet every evening, or watch porn or do something else in the private area of things.

Its a struggle to keep my sainity every day. To many people tell me ot buy a life when I rather achive my goals and dreams instead, I hate everyone against me regardless of who it is.
please help.

chelseababyy's avatar

Honestly, it’s your life. Do what makes you happy. They’re not the ones living your life, are they? Just because you have hobbies, that maybe people don’t think are cool, doesn’t mean you should stop doing whatever your doing. Maybe they’re jealous they don’t have a hobby. Do what makes you smile.
If you wanna watch porn, watch porn. I’ve watched it with my boyfriend in the room. There’s nothing wrong with it, as long as you’re doing it around people who aren’t comfortable with it. If you’re doing it on your own private time, who cares what they say.
Ignore them, if you want to achieve your goals and dreams do it. And when you do, everyone who ever put you down will be taken back by it. I used to be told by my mother that I would never amount to anything. In the almost two years I’ve been out of her house, I’ve traveled, met amazing people and have had incredible experiences.

Just do what you feel is right, for you.

Nimis's avatar

Yes, I’m all for trying to achieve your goals and dreams.
Though maybe you could clarify what those are, because I’m not sure
you’ll get there by sitting on the internet every evening and watching porn.

And I think your things and the people in your neighborhood
will be just fine without your vigilant watch.

kevinhardy's avatar

well Im being told to stay out of everything highlander and that Im crazy. My family ( panrets and bros) rahter support someonelse not me. My neighborhood tells me to buy a life. They say i cant have my things, since i dont go out. I get support from nobody. I get told i watch too much tv, to read a book , They(people in my neighborhood say read a book or write a book.

I have to lock myself in my room for safety.

they say I cant be myself or buy my things.

kevinhardy's avatar

I have no interest in wrtining a book or leraning thats life, I have my own interst and rahter pursue fame my own way, not someone elses, not someelses way, my way. regardless of money or not

Nimis's avatar

Doing things your own way is fine.
But if your plan doesn’t seem viable to them,
you can’t blame them for not supporting you financially.

What did you mean by having to lock yourself in your room for safety?
Do you feel that people are after you or plotting against you?

PS Is English your native language?

kevinhardy's avatar

they tell me I cant have my highlander cards, I hate that

chelseababyy's avatar

You have to realize that people are not always going to agree with you, and even more than that, there are going to be lots of negative people in your life. You just have to work passed that and you need to set a certain path for your life. You need to realize when things are actually going to work out, and when you’re just doing things the wrong way.

kevinhardy's avatar

i feel i dont have to get a life for those people negative towards me, id rhater no help them at all, tey dont give a shit about me or my things.

I should have my things regardless of who says what. I hate my brothers for putting me down all the time. they arent always right. I wont do what another person wants. i wont put myself down like that.

kevinhardy's avatar

i dont have to get a life ot get what I wont or grow up. I deserve all that is mine, including th world if possible.

Bri_L's avatar

Hey bud. welcome to fluther. It’s real hard to go through that I bet. I have a twin brother who was so insecure he used me to build himself up his whole life.

You have to try to find comfort with who you are despite what your brothers and the other people say.

We all have things in life we don’t want to do but need to. That is just plain responsibility. But there is no reason you shouldn’t get to do your highlander cards to, and without being hassled.

Hang in there.

Bluefreedom's avatar

You already have a life and it’s for you to live and not others to live through you or judge you for what you like and what you do.

If you have family members or people in your neighborhood that don’t like your lifestyle or choices, don’t associate with them and don’t give them reason to take undue notice of your activities.

If you suspect that your safety is in danger for any reasons whatsoever, it is in your best interests to make sure you get the help needed so that nothing bad happens to you. It appears you are having a difficult time in your life right now and I wish you the very best in working through this and finding happiness again.

kevinhardy's avatar

life is hell for me right now, nobody lets me be myself

Bluefreedom's avatar

@kevinhardy. I hear what you are saying, believe me. Please read over all the advice that everyone has given you here and take it to heart because all of it is intended to help you.

chelseababyy's avatar

Lots of people go thru that hun. I did! You just have to realize that you’re a better person, and that you will be able to make it as long as you believe in yourself.

kevinhardy's avatar

i cant handle life, nobdy understands me, I’ll never give up my things or submit to anyone, I can get hant i want,I alwsys have some asshole in my way. I hate those people cant stand them.

i wint change them or anybody else, Im not obsessed with my game,i hate that nobody supports me or my hobbies. they rahter hit me and take my things, im not a bad person, I dont need to get thier help, I need someone elses help. fuck those negative people against me. I can star in my own things, fuck those other people

cak's avatar

Someone is hitting you? Are you in or out of school? It sounds like you need someone that you can trust, and be able to talk to, face-to-face.

I don’t want you to think I’m being rude, but how many hours a day do you spend on your hobbies? Have you tried to compromise? Sometimes, family members can get so worried about someone, that it almost comes across as anger.

Do you think maybe they wouldn’t mind you spending time on your hobbies, if maybe you took some time to do other things?

Having hobbies, isn’t a bad thing; however, when those hobbies overrun your life and stop you from functioning (day-to-day) and only focusing on those hobbies, it can turn into something that you use to hide from life.

augustlan's avatar

How old are you, kevin? Do you live with your parents?

AlfredaPrufrock's avatar

Aah, is this about people thinking that your involvement with gaming is too excessive? And they want you to get a real life rather than the fantasy gaming life that you find rewarding?

fireside's avatar

First off, are you physically in danger? Not just from your brothers roughhousing, but from anyone else?

It sounds like you are struggling to build your own identity right now.
That can be a tough thing to do while you live with your parents and brothers because they will always see you differently.

It is okay to want to focus on the things that interest you, but fame is a far off goal that many people fail to achieve no matter how good you are at something. A big part of fame is knowing how to interact with people because the more recognition you get, the more people you will have to deal with.

Maybe just try to find a balance where you train yourself to get better at talking to people half the time and then escape to your room for your own hobbies. It won’t be easy; but everything takes practice, right? This way you’ll be ready for your eventual fame.

Jack79's avatar

can you give us a few more details?
It’s certain that you do need help, just not sure what type. Do you have your own room? Can you lock your things there?

Jeruba's avatar

@kevinhardy, perhaps you are already working with a professional who is trying to help you? Sometimes it takes a while to get the right combination of meds and therapy to enable you to work on the issues. People on a site like this can offer suggestions and encouragement, but not really help in the way that you may need.

kevinhardy's avatar

well im not on mediacation and im not wrong, some days if i leave certian thing open in my rrom i find stuff stolen. I feel Im right, Im 26 i live with my parents, i enjoy my hobbies, im unempolyed, ive applied to many jobs in person and online only ot get a bing lump of rejection in return. I tried to get into wrestling , only to get rejected becuase of the way I see things, I wont hange that, I refuse to hear “thats reality” from people that dont know a thing about me. I dont need to get a life. I wont drink my problems away like everybody else. I choose to live the way I can to survive , I nned to keep my things, I need them, Im drug free and not crazy. I get treated like social baddy in my neighbrohood for no reason. I dont want kids. I have a chioce, yet get treated like I dont. I need my things, my borthers tell me to grow up everyday. I beleive I dont need kids to empower myself in life. I dont eed them,Im not cut out for kids.

cak's avatar

Ok, so let me get this straight. You want to ask opinions, but don’t want to hear reality from people that don’t know you; however, you are here asking.

Here’s the thing. I truly wonder if you would, in fact, benefit from speaking to a professional. No one is calling you crazy, but let’s face it, you are not progressing in life and seem to want to stay in the same place. You say people hit you, you are saying people in your neighborhood treat you bad and no one lets you live the way you want to live. However, you are living at home, you can’t pay rent -without a job. You want to spend your life with your hobbies and want people to leave you alone. You really need to reach out and talk to someone. A therapist – someone.

You have a lot of wants, and almost demand that people let you have your life the way you want it, but you fail to see that you need to be more responsible. You are 26, living at home, working on your hobbies, but not trying to improve yourself enough to be able to get even a part-time job.

If something happened to your family – how would you live? Where would you go? At 26, you should be able to answer these things.

I’m not sure where children came into the picture, but you are correct children shouldn’t be a factor in your life, you can’t even support yourself.

I really think you need to see someone and have them help you find a way to function more on an adult level – again, that doesn’t mean to give up your hobbies, not at all! It just means that you are old enough where you need to find more of a balance.

Bluefreedom's avatar

@cak. That’s a damn fine answer if I do say so myself. And I do. If I ever need counseling on something, I’m coming to you first. :o)

RandomMrdan's avatar

Next time you apply for a job, I’d suggest getting someone else to fill out the application or type up your resume. Your every post is riddled with typos (I’m hoping it’s because you’re on an iphone, or ipod touch).

I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but it sounds like your family is trying to get you to do something with your life outside of staying at home, looking into impractical things like “wrestling”. Enjoying a sport is one thing, but if you’re talking about becoming a professional WWE type wrestler or something, then I can understand your family’s concern, it isn’t really realistic.

Sometimes the truth hurts, but to me it sounds like you need to grow up a bit, get a job, move away from home, and rely on yourself for once. You’re 26 years old, you shouldn’t be living at home, and frankly I’m not sure how you can stand it (my parents would drive me crazy to live with). The military might not be such a bad choice, teaches you how to live responsibly, manage your finances, get out and travel… though I’d wager you’d probably say the military isn’t for you.

I’d say go see a therapist, but I’d assume you don’t have insurance to cover it (I’d imagine you can’t be on your parents plan due to your age, though I could be wrong), and your parents probably won’t want to dish out the cash to have you sit down and talk to a therapist.

I wish you luck.

cak's avatar

@Bluefreedom – thank you.

@RandomMrdan – ah, the military! Actually, the structure there, sounds like a great opportunity -but I agree, it might be good for him, but he might not be cut out for it. GA!

chelseababyy's avatar

@cak That was pure brilliance.

kevinhardy's avatar

hmm, im willing to pay for my hobbies an d goals with all the money i have, im being hustled by my neighbros, they have brainwashed my brother, i need help, i hate my neighborhood, nobody helps, methey rhater hurt me for their won benefit , like ost of my life has been. ive tried to kill myself twice since ive been in san antonio, tx , i can handle it anymore, help me or i look somewhere else

kevinhardy's avatar

i cant handel it anymore, i refuse to do what they tell me

kevinhardy's avatar

i wont buy a life or give anything to anybody, i wont gorw out of anything,thats me

cak's avatar

If you don’t want to change, them I’m sorry, things will not improve. No one can fix your problems for you. You need to want to fix your problems. To do that, you will need to compromise, which it sounds like you are unwilling to do so. You want your problems fixed, but for things to remain exactly how they are – for you. Meaning you don’t want to grow up, you want to continue with your hobbies with zero responsibilty. No wonder people are frustrated with you.

Truly, you sound like you need to seek mental help. You say you’ve attempted suicide and some of the behaviors you are describing are those that need to be addressed by a mental health professional. You need help.

You also need to grow up. I don’t mean that in a harsh way, but I mean it as one adult to another.

No one can fix this, you have to work on it; but, to me, it doesn’t sound like you are willing to change. Until you can understand that this is going to be a give and take situation, both sides need to give – things won’t change.

How old are your brothers, the ones telling you to get a life?

augustlan's avatar

I am wondering if you have been evaluated for a developmental disability. I don’t mean this in a mean way, I truly think your writing and maturity level are not where they should be at 26 years old. What were your school years like? Were you ever tested?

LKidKyle1985's avatar

I don’t even know what the major issue is exactly. What is it exactly that you are doing that people don’t like. Are you watching highlander like 8 hours a day or something? You are trying to become famous or something? Famous in what? I have no idea. You say you only want to do things your way to become famous or something.
You know I don’t know what you or the situation is like first hand but I have a hunch that tells me your friends and family are on to something. One thing I learned over my 23 years of life is you have to put yourself in unfamiliar situations you grow and learn and become a better person. Certainly your friends and family don’t want you to completely give up on your passions. You don’t have to completely stop watching highlander or whatever it is you do. But you should do other things probably. Another thing I’ve learned is if everyone else you know is saying the same thing chances are they know something you don’t and it certainly won’t hurt you to at least try it out and make some changes.

kevinhardy's avatar

i dont watch it all the timei watch HL twice i a week, its sad i live in anighbrohiid that doesnt let me collecy the cards, one of my hobbies,the others are collecting dvds and looking timake new freinds, domnt enjoy driving, im not a manic deprssive or a retard, i know who i am , i know what i can do, its just a bunch of people holding me down all over the place.

I know i seem a little misguided and irrational in somestatements, im not, i dont feel like a dreamer when it comes to my goals, the fact the matters is i get trated like one 24/7. bieng online is one of my few escapes for all the worlds bs, i cant handle the worlds bs. thats who i am, I get expectations for everyone to change my perosnality as a whole, settledown, have kids, sell all your things, give your creativity to make someone else happy. Sorry, thats not life,i dont give up my things or who I am to make someone else happy. I rhater make myself happy, Most of my life I’ve been a loser, Id like to be the big winner ,sad society and the World wont let me have even that. They rahter lay back and judge me, take my things and kick me while I am down.

scamp's avatar

The first impression I got from reading your posts here is that you seem to have yourself stuck in a spiral of negativity. I read most of the suggestions from the others trying to help you here, and I don’t see you responding to them, just typing out most negativity and hostility for those around you and you situation.

You seem to me to be a very angry and confused young man who pretty much just wants to be left alone, to do as he pleases. In order to do that, you will have to deal with people, and put up with some things that you don’t like in order to survive.

My fiance has aspergers syndrome, and he feels very much the same way you do about society. I see a lot of him in you. You seem to be the type of person who marches to his own drum, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that.

You will however, have to give in to society at least enough to get a job to support yourself, so you can one day be on your own, and live the way you choose when in your own home.

But in order to do these things, Let’s start with baby steps. By that I mean, what can you do right now to change your life and start on the road to happiness today? Have you had a job before?

What are you good at? If you can even find a part time job to get started, it will get you out there and help you learn how to deal with people. I am not saying you are crazy, because I don’t think you are. I think you are different, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Embrace that, but know that people are cruel, and may not embrace it too.

There are people out there that specialize in helping people with problems like the ones you deal with. I think a good start if you are able would be to visit a behavior modification therapist. they help people learn how to “blend in”, and deal with society on a daily basis, so they can be more self sufficient. They aren’t mental health therapists, per se, they just help people like you who need a little extra help getting started.

I wish you well, and hope you are able to find the help you need. when I met my fiance, he was just as angry as you, and hated everyone… barely even trusted me. I have helped him learn how to deal with the assholes out there who made him miserable, and I kind of interpret the world for and to him. he is blossoming, and is growing happier every day, but it has taken 7 years to get to this point, so you have a long road ahead of you. don’t lose sight of your goal to be happy. stick with it, and you will make it one day with some hard work.

LKidKyle1985's avatar

Eh, your argument of people holding you down doesn’t really cut it for me. You either don’t let anyone hold you down or you choose to let them hold you down. So if its really other people holding you down, ask your self what you can do to get away from those people and then do it. Its that simple.
And you know what it doesn’t matter how successful you become people are going to judge you, kick you when you’re down and criticize you for who you are, so you need to learn to deal with that. And actually the more successful you become the more that becomes true.
And lastly, what do you mean its sad society won’t let you have that, referring to being the big winner. You say that as if winning is something that should be given to you. Success is not given my dear flutherer, you must seize the moment and take it for yourself. No one will give you what you seek, because they are all seeking it themselves.
So if you have big goals in your life you need to figure out what you need to do to get it, and then do it.

kevinhardy's avatar

Ill beleive what I believe, I wont change that for anyone

LKidKyle1985's avatar

I have no idea what you believe in, and what I said really didn’t attack anything you believe in, unless you believe in the exact opposite of what I said. You need to stop making excuses and make shit happen. that’s the bottom line. And if your beliefs include you believing you want to be successful you need to figure out what that means in reality and plan accordingly.

Bri_L's avatar

Listen to scamp. Read what she wrote again and again. It is not telling you to be who you are not. It is a plan to help you achieve a state where you can do just what you have been typing about. Please read what she wrote Here

scamp's avatar

@kevinhardy You don’t have to change what you believe, and no one has the right to tell you that you do.

But you should also know that society will not change either. I think the key to starting to feel better is to realize that and learn to work around that. You’re right.. people suck, but not all people do. I think your goal should be to learn to look for the good things in life, and not spend so much time saying “See, I told you so” when someone treats you badly.

For instance, there are quite a few good people in this thread reaching out to you and trying to help. Concentrate more on surrounding yourself with the positive aspects of your life and try not staying stuck in the rut of thinking so much about the bad.

kevinhardy's avatar

mt niehgbors think my nail pacakges are x mas gifts, they tell me to forget about it, they take whatever i order, those things are important to me , , just to ad to the issue, please help

RandomMrdan's avatar

they take your mail? That’s a federal offense if I’m not mistaken. Call the police for a domestic related issue with a neighbor. What business would they have taking your xmas gifts?

kevinhardy's avatar

nobody in my fmaily trust me, my neighbors steal from me, they try to take crdit for all my things, what should i do, they say i have no power

RandomMrdan's avatar

join the military, and move out of your parents home. They will give you a job, food, residence, and good benefits.

kevinhardy's avatar

im not cut out for the military, they’d kill ap erson like me, we are like oil and water

Jeruba's avatar

Peace Corps.

RandomMrdan's avatar

what she said.

kevinhardy's avatar

ill think about it, i need to research it first, i heard they dont pay any money, i need to proect my things ill never part ways with

Response moderated
RandomMrdan's avatar

well, with an attitude like that, you should get comfortable living with your parents.

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