General Question

loislane's avatar

How do you make really big decisions?

Asked by loislane (20points) May 4th, 2009

When you’re faced with two huge life changing decisions, and your heart is pulled in two opposite directions, what are your tricks and tactics to decide which way to go? I need some expert advice in the area of making a big decision!

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22 Answers

theartfuldodger's avatar

I am a decisive person. I weigh the pros and cons for a bit, and choose the one with more pros. If it seems about even, I just choose the one I like more.

I’m not being facetious when I say – flip a coin and stick with the option. It really works.

Life goes on, and you will be better for having made the decision rather than sitting on it and never making one.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Look down the road a few months. A few years. How is your decision going to play out in the long run? Don’t think just for now. And don’t think of just yourself. Will your decision affect others? HOW will it affect them? There’s many different angles you have to consider.

ccbatx's avatar

It’s hard. It’s really hard. You just have to look at all sides of things. What does the first option involve? The second? who will it affect? Which decision will be better for you?

After you look at all sides of things, you have to really listen to what you’re feeling. You said your heart was torn, but you have to decide which option your heart feels is best. People make the wrong choices all the time by overthinking things. They don’t listen to their heart. I believe that if you listen to your heart, you’ll get to where you need to be. Hope I helped!

aprilsimnel's avatar

I also say flip a coin with this in mind: What you want the outcome to be in the millisecond before you flip? That’s your decision. That’s what you really want.

When I (occasionally) flip one, I call it “my audience with the Queen” as I use a quid coin to do it.

theartfuldodger's avatar

Haa that’s awesome april!

janbb's avatar

My husband taught me a variant on the coin toss which he and I both use. You call heads or tails and then flip the coin. If you’re disappointed with the results, you know to make the other choice. Works every time!

Jude's avatar

I tend to turn to family. Great advice from those who care about you and want the best for you.

knitfroggy's avatar

I chew it over for a while myself. Then I ask the opinion of friends and family. I have a one track mind sometimes so I have to have other people help me look at things from different perspectives.

TitsMcGhee's avatar

I gather advice from many sources, but usually end up going with my first gut instinct. Not 100% of the time though.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I look at who other than myself will be affected and how. I weigh that against how badly I want whatever it is I’m choosing between.

cak's avatar

Magic 8 Ball

Ok, I don’t always use the Magic 8 Ball; normally, I talk to my husband, family or some of my friends. If it’s big, I take time to really think it over, I look at the big picture.

With that said, some of my best decisions have been made at the spur of the moment.

wundayatta's avatar

I wish I knew what kind of decisions people are talking about.

cwilbur's avatar

Consider what your heart says and what your head says. Make a formal list of pros and cons if it helps; flip a coin to decide, and before looking at it, think hard about which one you’re really hoping for.

casheroo's avatar

I choose the choice that is the right one. I know that may not make sense, but I’m talking the decision that makes the most sense. I turn to my husband, my family, my friends. I get advice and digest it as best as I can, and come to a conclusion.

May2689's avatar

I have a decision making method my mother recommended: It’s called “10–10-10” And its basically this: How will the decision you make affect your life in ten minutes, ten months, and then years?
In your case, you should evaluate both options. How are they going to affect your life? Maybe one seems to upset you in the next ten minutes, but in the next ten months, you may see that it was a better choice than the other option. Try it. Let me know if it works.

loislane's avatar

thank you all so much for all of your help and advice! i am going to try these suggestions, and i will let you know if i come to any conclusion! (by all means, if there are more, keep bringing them on!)

aprilsimnel's avatar

@May2689 – Oooh! That’s a good one!

May2689's avatar

@aprilsimnel : Thanks!! It really makes life a lot easier!

nikipedia's avatar

I make color-coded spreadsheets!

tiffyandthewall's avatar

eeny meeny miney mo

Jeruba's avatar

My rational, list-making mind wants the pros and cons list to work, but it doesn’t. I go with my gut. The reasons come after the decision is made.

I can use the plus-and-minus method to decide minor things such as which roofing contractor to hire or which mattress to buy, but when it comes to big things like quitting a job, moving across the country, getting married, and accepting a job offer, I have to trust my sense of the Gestalt and not try to enumerate all the particulars. You’ll never get them all, and even if you did they would not add up to the real whole picture.

Sometimes it does help me to talk to someone, not for advice but just for help quieting all the noise that keeps me from hearing my own inner voice.

naval's avatar


Tell No One.

Sleep on it.

In the morning, are you excited or embarrassed to tell the people who matter to you?

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