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sandystrachan's avatar

Sandy is going to be a dad again , but how do i tell him ?

Asked by sandystrachan (4412points) May 10th, 2009

We have 2 girls already 5 and nearly 2 , it’s his birthday on the 11th of may. Was planning on telling him then but i don’t know how he will take it, if he will get depressed cause it will make him feel even older ( he will only be 27) i know non of our parents will like the fact there is another baby on the way and it will destroy my sister when i tell her and especially when the baby arrives around Christmas time .How do we tell them in such a way they don’t freak out either ? 2 things you know about sandy and can give him cheers for . ( This is his wife using his account as i don’t have one , just thought you could help )

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39 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

well he’ll prob just read this when he gets in on his account and then we’ll see

sandystrachan's avatar

No chance of him coming on here today, when he comes home later tonight he will be going straight to bed .

gailcalled's avatar

Today is Mother’s Day; he has a right to know asap. Was this an unplanned pregnancy? Having a third child is a lot more than feeling old at 27. Do you have enough money, love, resources, energy and endurance to raise three children well?

This is really not about your sister or your parents or in-laws. And if Sandy is going to freak out, you two need to talk immediately and work this out. Why have you waited two months to share the news with your husband?

sandystrachan's avatar

@gailcalled Today is not Mother’s Day for us , I have had some strange periods lately and just found out yesterday myself .
Its was not planned but was not unplanned we never really spoke about more kid and when would be the right time to have them or even if there would be anymore .

Jude's avatar

@sandystrachan ‘s other half. The reason why @gailcalled said that it’s been two months is because you had said that the baby is due at around Christmas time. :)

gailcalled's avatar

The lack of planning and discussion makes things even more problematic, Mother’s Day or not. I am guessing c.two months since you said that the baby was due around Xmas.

That is less important than your odd defense here of “not planned but not unplanned.”
Either you both want a third child or you don’t. The phrase “freaking out” is not reassuring.

casheroo's avatar

Yeah, I’m confused about the December thing. I know that if I were to find out if I were pregnant right now, I’d be due in January, because of my LMP. Have you known for a couple weeks now?
I don’t understand why it matters what anyone but your husband thinks. I’d do something fun to tell him. Of course finding out your wife is about to have a third child will be stressful, he’ll probably freak out no matter how you tell him…I know my husband would!

sandystrachan's avatar

That is why i changed what i said to ” I have had some strange periods lately and just found out yesterday myself .” Because i noticed my mistake , i don’t mean literally freak out i just mean he may not take it very well to start with . My periods have been acting up for a few times now , the doctor said it was most likely due to the different contraceptive pill i was taking . My last bleed was February but it lasted the whole month , the doctor then took a sample from me for a pregnancy test ( still insisting it may be due to the pill ) turns out the test came back on Saturday and its positive . How i got the December date was by counting March, April and so forth .My sister would get so depressed cause she can’t have anymore kids and really freaks out when any of her mates gets pregnant , she even went a little ape when i had my kids and made it her duty to get pregnant she hates it even more that i can have natural birth and she cant . Due to her past of being a sex worker and catching herpes around her cervix , she learned that the hard way when her 1st child died aged only a few weeks old due to natural birth .

gailcalled's avatar

OK for events leading up to pregnancy. And OK with being sensitive with your sister (although she did choose to be a sex worker -whatever that is – knowing the difficulties that might ensue.) But get off the computer, give your husband a kiss and tell him immediately.

Birth and death are the big ones. We have no idea of your relationship with your husband. You do. Don’t answer this. Don’t waste another minute.

I am terribly sorry about the death of your sister’s infant son. She needs to talk to a Samaritan or a counselor and not have baby rivalries with you.

miasmom's avatar

I like the idea of sharing in a fun way, maybe tie a bow around your belly with a tag that says he can receive his gift in 9 months.

We wrapped baby books up for our parents and wrote notes on them to read this when the baby comes later.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

My first choice wouldn’t be online like this, announced to other people first. Planned or unplanned, pregnancy is a serious fact and I don’t think you need to construct any special day or adventure around announcing it, just have the talk and go from there. Unplanned pregnancies happen every day and under all kinds of circumstances so that part doesn’t matter now, it’s no one’s business the details of when and how it happened anymore. It’s more important how you and your husband feel about another child than the reactions of family and friends as much as you love them and don’t want to feel like you may hurt them.

chyna's avatar

Is sex worker code for prostitute?

dynamicduo's avatar

Well, I’ll tell you one thing, I certainly would not do it via asking a question on Fluther. That’s a bit too “telling the world” for my likings, especially considering the circumstances here.

chyna's avatar

@dynamicduo Kinda like: Oh honey, I was on fluther today and saw where you had aids. Hate that for you. Hope you didn’t pass it on to me.

sandystrachan's avatar

@chyna Yes she was a prostitute , she had sex for drugs

YARNLADY's avatar

I think I can safely say you just did, by using his account.

elchoopanebre's avatar

Everyone calm down.

This is probably a joke.


Jude's avatar

@elchoopanebre that’s what I was thinking.

Darwin's avatar

I suppose we may find out for sure once sandy signs back on and freaks out, or doesn’t if it is actually himself playing a joke on us.

jonsblond's avatar

I’m still laughing at the “feeling old at 27” part. hahaha…ha.

sandystrachan's avatar

Ok i am going to be a dad again like you all know already .
It was no joke and was NOT me , why would i play a joke on anyone on here especially about a pregnancy !?

Darwin's avatar

Congratulations, Sandy and Mrs. Sandy! What a way to find out, eh?

Jude's avatar


sandystrachan's avatar

I must admit i didn’t expect it to be on here when i logged in .
Thanks @Darwin & @jmah

miasmom's avatar

Congratulations! And Happy Bday!

sandystrachan's avatar

Thank you and thank you !>
Maybe what should now be asked is names boy/girl best name gets picked !

SpatzieLover's avatar

This is DANDY news, Sandy, Daddy!!!! Congrats to you & your family!

ru2bz46's avatar

Call him Duncan.

(y’know, like Sandy Duncan…the actress…from the 70’s…small, with a squirrelly voice…she was on Roots…Kizzy’s friend/master’s daughter)

Dog's avatar

I missed this thread

Congrats to both of you!

the baby’s middle name perhaps could be Dr. J <jk>

augustlan's avatar

Congratulations, Sandy!

Likeradar's avatar

Congrats! Exciting week in the flutherverse!

sandystrachan's avatar

Thanks once again to you all . Scan is in a couple weeks ! .

sandystrachan's avatar

Follow up : Due Date is 19th December

augustlan's avatar

Thanks for keeping us posted, sandy!

YARNLADY's avatar

Thanks for the update.

gailcalled's avatar

Ah, another almost Capricorn. Try to persuade the baby to come several days early; birthdays near or on major holidays that involve gifts are hard on the birthday boy or girl. My family was exhausted after Hannukah, my mother’s b’day on 12/7, Xmas, my dad’s b’day on 12/27 by the time mine came around…on Dec. 31.

sandystrachan's avatar

Update It’s a…........ Click to find out :P

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