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knitfroggy's avatar

What's the strangest thing you ever said to your child?

Asked by knitfroggy (8977points) May 17th, 2009

I got up a little bit ago and my 6 year old son had gotten up and got some Pop Tarts. He had blueberry Pop Tart smashed all over the remote control, his face, the carpet and my chair. I said What are you doing? and then when I saw all the mess I hollered at him “NO more eating! Ever!” He just looked at me, like, are you nuts? I meant no more eating in the tv room, but I’d just woken up and it didn’t quite come out that way. This is not by far the strangest thing I’ve ever said to one of them, but it’s what comes to mind right now.

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28 Answers

elijah's avatar

I once told my daughter I found an egg in a dumpster and she hatched out of it, her real mom was an alien and left a note for me to name her coocapoo.

knitfroggy's avatar

@elijah that’s cute! My folks always told my sister they found her out in the pasture under some horse poop!

chyna's avatar

I’m seeing major therapy sessions here.

cookieman's avatar

My daughter was asking about Disney World.

“Can we go?” she said.
“There’s no such place”, I replied.
“But Becky at school went with her parents”, she said.
I knelt down in front of her, gently placed my hand on her shoulder and said, “Honey…people lie”.

RareDenver's avatar


That’s funny.

knitfroggy's avatar

@cprevite That is adorable! ^^

Jack79's avatar

I can tell you of a story my cousin’s parents told him. We used to travel quite a lot, but they didn’t (mainly because of work and not so much because they couldn’t afford it). One day the parents did take holidays, but left him with his grandmother. They told him that little children are not allowed on the plane because they’re too light and make the plane unstable, and that you have to be at least 25kg to get there.

So when I came back from London (on a plane) he, being taller, fatter and a year older, asked me my weight. I was something like 20kg at the time (3–4 years old). Of course I told him. There was a huge row at their house that night. Plus, thinking back, he must have been more than 25kg at the time anyway.

cookieman's avatar

@RareDenver & @knitfroggy: can you tell I don’t want to go to Disney World? ;^)

RareDenver's avatar

@cprevite It would appear that way, I went once and quite enjoyed it, I was about 7 at the time though!

cookieman's avatar

@RareDenver: I enjoy Disney World well enough. It’s Florida (specifically the weather) that I can’t deal with.

RareDenver's avatar


I know where you are coming from, I don’t do too well in the heat, and I’m going to Cuba soon for two weeks, I’ll be the one sitting in the shade drinking rum :-)

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

Damn, I never knew lying to children could be so much fun. Maybe there’s still time for me to have kids. All I need now is a female volunteer. any takers?

AstroChuck's avatar

@cprevite- You have to be nice to your children. I’d never lie to my kids, because they are the ones who will be choosing the rest home.

AstroChuck's avatar

Also, never raise your hand to your child. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Well, I’m all out of advice.

cookieman's avatar

@AstroChuck: Your a regular Dr. Spock

AstroChuck's avatar

Thank you. Live long as prosper.
Whoops. Wrong Spock.

hearkat's avatar

@cprevite: You didn’t lie, there is no such place as “Disney World”. There is “Walt Disney World” in Florida and “DisneyLand” in California, and the place in Paris is “EuroDisney”, I think.

AstroChuck's avatar

@hearkat- It’s known as “Disneyland Paris” now.

hearkat's avatar

@AstroChuck: I just looked that up – thanks; and there’s “DisneyLand Tokyo” and “DisneyLand Hong Kong”, too.

AstroChuck's avatar

And there’s the Disneyland that just opened in my pants. It’s right next door to Starbuck’s.

casheroo's avatar

When I get frustrated, and I never say this directly to my son, I joke about taking him back to the hospital and leaving him in the unwanted baby box. We have one right outside our hospital.
too cruel? lol

My son is young, the only lies we have are when I hide his most annoying toys behind the couch. They disappear while mommy takes some advil to recover from the noise.

susanc's avatar

I’ve never said anything strange to my children.

My friend Melinda’s mother said a strange thing to her once, though.

Melinda was twelve, and all her girlfriends were getting their periods or getting ready to. Melinda’s mother’s linen closet contained twenty big fat boxes of Kotex.
Melinda’s conversation with her mother went like this:

Melinda: “Mom, what’s Kotex?”

Melinda’s mother: “I don’t know.”

Darwin's avatar

I don’t think I’ve said anything strange to my children, but they wouldn’t agree. However, a friend of mine’s dad said something strange without realizing it, and it has now entered family lore.

One dinner the kids were objecting to eating their vegetables, and their dad said in ringing tones, “Eat every carrot and pea on your plate!” Of course, if you don’t read yet, imagine what he just said. Or as the kids said, “Right here in front of everyone?”

cak's avatar

Weirdest thing in passing, “Lauren, stop licking the walls.”

My daughter had this thing for licking add textures when she was small. I guess the wall was her favorite. Scary thing, I had to tell her more than once.

augustlan's avatar

This whole thread is hilarious!

susanc's avatar

@augustlan: I just re-read my own story and laughed at it. Almost as much as I laughed at what astrochuck said about his groin. Uh .. our groins.

Well, it was a Great Question.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

These are hilarious! I can’t think of anything actually “weird” that I’ve said to my kids. I have lied about the toy thing though… “I’m sorry, I think it needs new batteries.” In reality, the batteries had been temporarily removed and hidden, haha.

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