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live_rose's avatar

How to break something to someone close to you?

Asked by live_rose (1223points) May 25th, 2009

I have to tell my dad that i dont want to go back to a four year college and I want to stay home and go to community college. So I’m just curious what have other people had to tell someone else and how did you do it? were you nervous about their reaction

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18 Answers

Ivan's avatar

Well I’m not going to pretend to know your parents or your relationship with them, but just be honest, forthright, and confident. It’s not as if you’ve done something horrible. Community college is nothing to be ashamed of.

CMaz's avatar

I would say, “Dad, i dont want to go back to a four year college and I want to stay home and go to community college.”

Darwin's avatar

To what @ChazMaz says I would add my reasons, with supporting evidence as to how it will benefit you and possibly other family members.

justwannaknow's avatar

” I love you daddy and get so sad when I do not get to see you. That will change since I am going to community college now instead of ???? college.”

Blondesjon's avatar

No matter what you say just make sure that you say it.

The anticipation of a distasteful task is exponentially greater than actually going about the task.

Don’t ever let fear influence your choices.

justwannaknow's avatar

The sooner you tell the sooner things settle back down.

hug_of_war's avatar

I have had to tell my parents this..and let’s say it did not go well. I don’t want to scare you, but not all parents will accept it with grace. So be prepared for a bumpy landing. I did it rationally, gave reasons, the whole thing…and it was still a hard thing for them to take. I now have to tell them I’m changing majors from something lucrative to something…not so much and as career focused as they are…I expect another bumpy road.

casheroo's avatar

I remember when I did this with my parents. They were a little disappointed, but they knew it was the best thing for me. The large university was just too much for me. I felt overwhelmed, and didn’t even attempt to attend classes, never a good thing.
Just be honest. Even if a parent is upset, that’s normal. It’s okay for them to be disappointed. Yeah, it hurts you, but they have feelings as well. They’ll understand that it’s the best option for you once you explain it to them.

Darwin's avatar

As the ads say, “Just do it.”

saraaaaaa's avatar

You are becoming an adult now and these big decisions are going to have to be something you get accustomed to, as will your parents in your choices (I don’t mean that as patronising as it sounds).
Do remember that they believe that they have your best interests at heart so you need to stand by your choice and show that your choice is whats best for you and they will have to realise this too.

wundayatta's avatar

They will want to know why. Tell them why before you tell them what you are explaining. Tell them the story of how you got to this decision, and if you do it right, it will be clear to them it is the only decision that makes sense.

Of course, you will have to be honest about everything that goes into it. You can always practice here. Also, don’t let them derail you. Tell them that all their questions will be answered, but you have to tell it your way. If they try to interrupt, you just go silent and stare at them until they pipe down.

Jeruba's avatar

I had to tell my parents I was dropping out of college. I didn’t even have as much of a plan as you have. There was really no way around saying “I’m not going back.” My distress at the idea of going back was so much greater than my anxiety about their reaction that there was no contest over whether I’d say it or not.

Eventually I transferred and finished up elsewhere, but the main thing right then was to put an end to being in the wrong place. So I said what I had to say to accomplish that.,

Clair's avatar

i’m not a sugar-coater. just tell them. it’ll be over quicker and you can stop being so nervous.

499335508crazygrape's avatar

well he is your dad and he loves you so i dont think he’ll be mad and even if he is, always keep in mind he cant exactly stop you. Although my main advice is to tell him the way you would think is best. Dont let us tell you how to do it:)

499335508crazygrape's avatar

@Clair that might hurt his feelings sure he is a dude but all people get sad

Clair's avatar

@499335508crazygrape I didn’t say that because he “is a man, and can take it.” I say that because it needs to be taken care of. My answer does need rephrasing though. She should wait for the opportune time and explain why. If she has a good reason, he shouldn’t be that angry. It’s her decision and since I assume he’s paying for it, then she needs to address him as soon as possible. I understand it will be hard but the sooner it’s over, the better.

499335508crazygrape's avatar

@Clair but.. but.. thats exactly what i said when i was suggesting what she\he (i forget) should do. yes if she tells him soon it will be over but only if you know it will, i mean people have diff. feelings about diff. things and how they will feel after sooooo… i guess im with you on ur answer

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