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wundayatta's avatar

Do you have a theory about why people are willing to risk their lives to get off using auto-erotic asphyxiation?

Asked by wundayatta (58604points) June 5th, 2009

I like sex as much as anyone, but this practice really creeps me out. Given all the stories about how you can die doing it, I can’t imagine why anyone would try it at all, much less try it alone. What kind of frame of mind would you need to be in to want this supposed high? To be willing to die for an orgasm… I just don’t get it. Is there anyone who can explain?

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45 Answers

essieness's avatar

I’ve known people that did it and supposedly it’s the best orgasm ever. But I’m with you. Just. Not. Willing. To. Go. There. Plus, wouldn’t you feel sort of stupid choking/being choked during sex? As if the “O face” isn’t funny enough without adding the “I’m choking” expression!

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

David Carradine died doing this. The high must be incredible for people to risk their lives for it. It must be an adrenaline surge.

CMaz's avatar

Getting drunk, getting laid, and dancing with death.
People just luv taboos. I would have to say the thrill is what got your friends to such a level of orgasm.
Some people are just harder to thrill then others.

SirBailey's avatar

“Try it alone”?? Forgive me, but, with one hand you “choke the chicken” while with the other hand you choke yourself?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@The_Compassionate_Heretic
I know he was found hanging from a rope but do we know that he’s done erotic asphyxiation before? Doesn’t make a diff to me, loved him, will miss his work, but still

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Danger is intoxicating and arousing

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

And also people have risked their lives for far more ridiculous things

wundayatta's avatar

@SirBailey That’s why a noose is so helpful in this effort. That’s why it’s so dangerous. If we had three hands, it might be less dangerous.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Ok, I’ll bite. What is a more ridiculous thing to lose your life for?

SirBailey's avatar

Not necessarily. I imagine it would be even worse if you get confused and put the noose around the wrong thing.

sandystrachan's avatar

Why are BME olympics so popular as well ?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@daloon A 2-dollar metrocard
Just last month a man was stabbed on the bus here in NYC over a bus ride

Facade's avatar

Because it’s fun.

sandystrachan's avatar

@The_Compassionate_Heretic Funny how he died on Wireless Road found hanging by a wire/rope .

CMaz's avatar

I had a GF, a sub/slave and she loved to be tied to the bed and whipped. The harder I whipped here the harder she orgasmed. I could not lay it into her enough. She would rather pass out then say stop and never did (say stop) . After some “after care” she would say how much she loved how I handled her. She would talk to me about auto-erotic asphyxiation, but I would never go there. I do know my limitations, and that risk is too much of a risk to take with another person.

essieness's avatar

@ChazMaz Wow. Sounds like you were smart not to choke her. It probably wouldn’t have been enough to please her until it was too late.

Darwin's avatar

Many people are addictive personalities. They may get away from drugs and alcohol, which Carradine is supposed to have done, but they often still find something to which to be addicted. I suspect that auto-erotic asphyxiation is one such thing.

Clair's avatar

it’s kind of sexy in a way. because it’s dangerous and helpless. but too risky for me.
...but you’re on the right track…
i’m sure i’ll get no lurve for that one..

wundayatta's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir That’s doing something to someone else; not to yourself.

@facade Yeah, no one would do it if it weren’t fun, but that does not explain why people are willing to risk death for that fun. People think skydiving and bungy jumping and rock climbing and extreme skiing, etc, etc are fun. But not everyone is willing to risk death for those experiences.

Is it the power of the feeling that makes people risk death, or is it risking death, itself, that makes the feeling so powerful?

@chazmaz Wow, dude. You’re full of surprises. Are you still with this GF? How did you meet? Did you look for a sub, or was she looking for a dom, or did you find out afterward you had this in common?

dynamicduo's avatar

Depriving your brain of oxygen certainly has some really interesting effects, just like putting drugs inside of you. Enough I guess for those who enjoy it to risk dying to get that pleasure. There may also be a difference in doing it to yourself versus doing it with someone you trust, in that it may be more erotic for the guy to do it to himself, the thrill of knowing he could slip and die may be appealing… people’s kinks work in really interesting (and often unpredictable) ways.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Adrenaline junkies, for sure.

CMaz's avatar

On a side note:
Some of us have said in the heat of passion. “I am going to come over and rape you!” Or, “come on over baby and rape me!” This type of talk can be a big turn-on. Until someone close to you gets raped. Not a turn-on anymore.
Things might be “kind of sexy in a way”. But, are better off being kept under check, left to fantasy and day dreaming. Words might never hurt you, but sticks and stones can do some long term damage.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@daloon oh okay, how about joining the military

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir He was found with a rope around his neck and around his genitals. Statistically speaking, people who OD, auto-asphyxiate, or engage in other high risk behaviors rarely die the first time they try it.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@ChazMaz
I think sometimes sex with a person that you trust does allow for dangerous fantasies to be played out in a way that’s both legal and safe and accepting

wundayatta's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Again, not a good analogy. People don’t join the military for fun; they join it for money or because they believe they are doing a good and noble thing. The calculation is not at all the same as with auto-erotic asphyxiation.

CMaz's avatar

This is true. The trust is the tricky part. Some people are just nuts.

casheroo's avatar

I have never done anything to myself, by myself. But I have been known to enjoy a little choking now and then. Not so much as I get older.
I wouldn’t be willing to die for it, and actually couldn’t really do it with my husband because he would go too far and hurt me (unintentionally) I am more delicate than girls he’s been with previously, because he had to relearn how to have sex. lol

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@daloon
Doesn’t mean it’s not a stupid thing to do
we can’t possibly know all the calculations that go into either decision

I’ve known some people who join the military and don’t know why they did

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Also, what about all the people that have ‘received’ Darwin Awards?

eponymoushipster's avatar

everyone wants to be Fox Mulder.

SirBailey's avatar

@casheroo “enjoy a little choking now and then”...can’t say I can identify with that!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@casheroo i like you more and more….;)

Facade's avatar

@daloon People cheat death every day unknowingly. I don’t see the difference.

wundayatta's avatar

@Facade The difference is in the nature of the thrill they are willing to risk cheating death for. Having a fantastic orgasm just doesn’t seem to be something as much worth pursuing as the feeling and experience you get jumping out of an airplane. You’ve no doubt had thousands of orgasms in your life, and I can’t imagine that there could be one so much better than what I’ve already experienced that it would be worth that. On the other hand, the thrill of jumping out of a plane and making it to the ground alive seems to be a completely different thrill, with a value that makes risking death seem like a better proposition.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@daloon
it’s not so much about the orgasm
but about where you can push your limits to

CMaz's avatar

And, the Orgasm.

FrankHebusSmith's avatar

What was it the one comedian said?.... I hope you’re enjoying this cuz i’m looking at 25 to life?

tyrantxseries's avatar

don’t knock it untill you try it

elijah's avatar

I love being choked. It’s not an every day thing, but when things get super hot and dirty it feels fucking amazing. Add in a quick slap and an arm twisted behind my back… yeah.
TMI? Oops.
But would I like to wrap a rope/ belt around my own neck? Nope. Part of the excitement is being overpowered. It’s just doesn’t sound fun to do alone.

SirBailey's avatar

@ elijah, Are you sure you were having sex? It sounds like you were getting mugged.

Facade's avatar

@elijah knows what’s up ;)

Clair's avatar

hahaha! @elijah @SirBailey @Facade all know what’s up!
damn, i know what i’m doing tonight.

tiffyandthewall's avatar

there was an experiment with mice, who would choose to hit the button that increased their dopamine levels over food until they died from starvation. i don’t think humans and mice are all that different.

CMaz's avatar

I am sooo in love with @elijah.

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