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wilhel1812's avatar

Has my friend lost control of his weed habits?

Asked by wilhel1812 (2872points) June 11th, 2009

Hey fluther!

My good old friend, which I’ve known since I was 7 years old has started smoking a lot lately. It started with a joint now and then at parties and at random times and I was okay with that, and i still am. Both of us have been busy the last weeks so i haven’t talked to him much. I just talked to his ex. She was worried as hell. Turns out he’s been stoned pretty much all the time the last weeks.

We just had our final exam, and he has been stoned all the way, it makes me realize that this isn’t just something he does at parties anymore. It’s just wrong to smoke during that time, I wouldn’t get drunk during my exams, that’s fu*ked! You know what he wants to be? A Psychiatrist! That’s eight years of education here! I find it hard to believe that he will return to a life of education and routines after a summer of smoking every single day.

What’s the right thing for me to do?

I could talk to his parents. He’s 18, so legally in Norway, they can’t do anything, however I know for sure that they will help him, but he will get pissed, and I’m not sure if he’ll ever forgive me.

I could talk to him, but i know he’ll only come with all the stoner talk… “There’s a lot of people dying form drinking, there’s no one dying from smoking” and “I’m not addicted, you can’t get addicted form weed” you know the game…

I could wait and see what happens, he’s just been this bad for a little more then a week, it might be just now. Is this just a period of his life that will wear off as he grows up?

Please help me with this one, I’m worried as hell, and so is his ex.

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9 Answers

dynamicduo's avatar

Dude, just be honest. Go tell your friend you’re worried about his recent drastic change in behaviour. None of the drinking vs smoking stats matter here, what matters is that you as a friend have observed a rapid change and it caused you to be concerned. I believe that every friend has the right to speak their honest mind once, after then you have said your bit and you can’t do anything else beyond let your friend live their own life and learn the consequences of their choices and actions. After all, change must come from within. Whether he chooses to return to a life of education is his choice to make.

Then again, maybe he’s just someone who is willing to be stoned. I’m not “stoned all the time” but I do smoke very regularly, and I’m completely successful. Weed doesn’t necessarily exclude someone from being dedicated. Nor is weed necessarily the reason he may or may not become a psychiatrist. It becomes easy to blame one thing for people changing when in reality people change naturally over time, it’s inevitable.

LC_Beta's avatar

Even if you get shut down, it wouldn’t hurt to talk to him about how you feel – it may give him pause, even if he doesn’t admit it.

I wouldn’t bring this up to his family just yet. He’s an adult now, and he’ll make his own decisions whether they know about it or not – and it could potentially cost you your friendship.

That said, maybe this isn’t as serious as you believe it is. I know some highly productive stoners (although I am not a productive stoner, and can only smoke when I have nothing at all to accomplish.)

Dog's avatar

Just out of curiosity- how well did he do on his finals?

The reason I ask is that doing poorly in conjunction with intervention could be a catalyst for change.

wilhel1812's avatar

I know it doesn’t have to matter that he smokes, he’s been doing it for years and he’s been doing well. He’s got good grades, had a great relationship with his friends and overall had a great life, yet he smoked a few times a week. That’s totally okay with me, I’m not against weed, and i have no issues with him or anyone else getting stoned, but it has to be at the right times, not in the middle of a goddamned exam! I mean, this was a home exam, so it was literary during the exam.


I probably won’t bring it up to his parents unless it eventually gets really bad. Like if he get’s really fucked,, in trouble etc.

Yeah, i know it might not be as serious as i think it is, but I’m worried that it might be. It’s just not the right way to turn now, in the beginning of the vacation. I really doubt think he’ll cut down on the wee in the summer…

@Dog It went ok, He got a 4. (That’s a 4 out of 6 which i guess should equal an C) He wasn’t stoned during the presentation, so i guess that saved him, but still it’s just the fact that during those two days that is pretty important, he sat with his friends and got stoned while the rest sat at home producing. I saw his product, and I’ve seen him do a lot better…

Gfly's avatar

Hahahaha that’s funny as he’ll there is nothing wrong with your freind. It’s good you care about this person, but I wouldn’t worry to much about that these days there is a lot of really bad things you can get into that could mess a person up. If your freind is smoking alot more then there could be a reason that you are in aware of. Some people use harm reduction and self Medicate themselves. This is a good thing because the user has somthing to take the edge of all the stress and finantual problems

wilhel1812's avatar

@Gfly Well, there’s a time and place for everything…

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

Some people can handle weed, some can’t. to be honest just tell him how you feel and let it be that, because there’s nothing else you can really do. He’ll only stop if HE wants to really.

WenDay88's avatar

I know they say you can’t get addicted to weed, but i think you can. Its not physically like alcohol, but its mental.I have a good friend who smokes because he says it calms him down and relaxs him so he doesn’t stress too much. In reality, he can change his routine or something to make him stress less…or go for a jog or something. But when people get to this point, they THINK they need weed to function. Therefore, it IS a mental addiction. I sort of think it can be physical too. Are you not chasing the feeling you got the last time you were high? I don’t know, but you should definitely talk to him about how you feel. A friend’s concern can usually straighten anyone up.

jerrytown's avatar

i know alot of people that smoke before they do anything, it’s a hell of alot better than eating a bunch of xanex that a doctor would prescribe for anxiety. Your friend is good to go.

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