General Question

WenDay88's avatar

Can a "sex buddy" ever STAY a "sex buddy?"?

Asked by WenDay88 (16points) June 11th, 2009

We’ve probably all been to the point when our hormones are raging to a point that we don’t care who it is that can relieve that for us. So, we make a deal with a person to keep it purely sexual with no strings attatched. Can this work? Can it stay purely sex without one person wanting more, or does it just end in disaster?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

38 Answers

Alleycat8782's avatar

It depends if either person is emotionally attached, because if they are then I don’t think sex buddies would ever work.

AstroChuck's avatar

Good ol’ Lefty can.

kevbo's avatar

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
(Unless she is a whore,)
Nothing gold can stay.

credit to @jonsblond

Aethelwine's avatar

No. Girls are too emotional.

unless they are whores

Allie's avatar

@jonsblond That’s a bit of a generalization. Don’t you think?

FutureMemory's avatar

In my experience it’s much better to ‘get in touch’ with the joys of masturbation than risk damaging a friendship.

Aethelwine's avatar

@Allie Yes it is. I’ve been drinking. It’s been a long week two weeks.

Allie's avatar

Well, I’m going to break the mold on this question I guess. Some people aren’t capable of keeping it just sex, some people are. Yeah, I think it’s possible to stay JUST sex buddies.

Aethelwine's avatar

@Allie My age is showing on this question. :)

hlyx's avatar

Yes, but only if you two want the same thing. Once someone wants more than just sex, the situation gets messier than jizz on dark sheets.

Btw, your question makes me think of something I read recently about “intimacy lite” (link). Might be of interest to you.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@jonsblond – Forgive me, but I find the sexism of your statement to be irritating and overly generalized and stereotypical.

I’ve had this arrangement with people in the past and from my experience, the sex buddy arrangement can only last so long. Eventually, one of the parties either becomes too attached or becomes ready to move on. Despite the suggestion, it is not always the woman that becomes too attached; I know plenty of women (myself included) that can be perfectly happy with such an arrangement. The times I’ve done the sex buddy thing with guys, half of them keep up their end of the bargain, the other half wanted to treat me like a girlfriend. I came up with a set of rules for this sort of arrangement. They wanted to sleep over, talk about things, etc., which is against the rules. :)

ru2bz46's avatar

I’m tired of relationships; I want a sex buddy. So, @AlenaD, what are you doing later?

casheroo's avatar

I’m sure it’s possible for some. I had quite a few casual relationships like that, but I almost always developed some form of feelings, and if I didn’t then the guy did and it ruined our friendship.

gailcalled's avatar

@Kevbo; Credit should go to Robert Frost, and I don’t think he was writing about casual sex. However, any excuse to reread that complex and exquisite poem that should never be corrupted, please. G

kevbo's avatar

@gailcalled, I have ruined this frosty poem, which you were probably delighted to read during breakfast. Forgive me. The joke was malicious, so l33t and so LOLZ.

Aethelwine's avatar

@AlenaD Yes. My comment was a generalization and not at all like something that I would normally say (or think). Please accept my apology. I’ve had a really stressful week and a few beers on top of that did not help.

saranwrapper's avatar

man, I hope so.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

yes. very much so.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

maybe that’s why I’m not “Marriage Material”

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Yes. Some call it other than ”whoring” though. It’s very possible to have such an arrangement with a person who actually respects you as a human being and offers safety, trust and discreetness.

Aethelwine's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Seriously what? How many times do I need to apologize for my statement. I’ve been stressed, I said something I normally wouldn’t. We all make mistakes, don’t we? I do not think that all women are emotional.

hug_of_war's avatar

For a time, but if one person doesn’t get into a relationship, I can almost guarantee at some point feelings will develop. It’s important both people going in actually just wanting sex. I can’t tell you how many people I know go into these things they both just want sex when the other person has a hidden agenda to turn it into more. Which is the inherent issue when your sex buddy is a close friend.

Aethelwine's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I’m confused. How am I yelling. I am apologizing for making a stupid comment when I was stressed

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@jonsblond it sounded like exasperated yelling-i’m sorry you were stressed and i’m sorry you said what you said and i didn’t mean for you to apologize to me, specifically, but okay

Bri_L's avatar

Not if she’s my wife.

At least not with me she couldn’t!

4 years with out and counting!!!

wundayatta's avatar

I still don’t understand how people can separate sex from emotions. I suspect that, to a large degree, people are fooling themselves about this, although it is obvious that many people believe it is possible. Anyway, I’m not sure I believe in the whole idea of “sex buddies.”

Clair's avatar

jonsblonde is trippin me out. i must be the only one laughing here.

and i believe the term is ‘fuck buddy.’ sounds so much more appealing. ha

yes, i do believe that’s it’s possible but not many can handle that.

Allie's avatar

[mod says:] @jonsblond has stated repeatedly that she is sorry. I think we can all move on.

Bri_L's avatar

@allie – A fricken men!

Blondesjon's avatar

I hope this helps a bit.

i luv ya baby

JustLeDouxIt's avatar

I had a “sex buddy” once. Even though we kept it strictly sexual but i fell in love with the guy. BAD IDEA!!!

HappyFox's avatar

I’ve had a couple of ‘sex buddies’ in the past (before I got married). The first one started off okay…just keeping things on a physical basis, but after a couple of months she began asking me round for dinner, meet the parents, etc, then it was holding hands on romantic walks and talking about marriage.

With the second one, it was me that fell for her within a matter of weeks, despite trying to emotionally ‘reprogram’ myself to keep things physical-only. Very difficult as she was absolutely stunning and a really lovable person. It didn’t work having things on that kind of level so we ended it (but remained very good friends).

So, no, in answer to the original question. :)

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

meh, to be honest, they’re not a bad idea. sure a little hassle can be involved, but sometimes relationships are too much work a hectic time for you, but you still want to get laid. by all means, fly on little wing.

Response moderated (Spam)
wallabies's avatar

Yes! An example: We made an agreement upfront, we stuck to it. No fights, no drama, no jealousy. It was great. I ended it because I got seriously involved with someone else, and that was that. It’s not like there were no emotions. We’re not robots. It’s just important that everyone involved has the same level of emotional attachment. If someone starts to want more, it should end immediately!

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther