General Question

jazzjeppe's avatar

Honestly, isn't sex overrated?

Asked by jazzjeppe (2598points) June 26th, 2009

I just realized today sitting on the bus, that I haven’t been close to a woman for seven years. And I function as a human being very well. Don’t even miss it. And yes, you might want to answer that I probably think that sex is overrated because I am crap in bed. I’ll give you that pleasure to reply with that and won’t even comment on it :)

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44 Answers

TabernakAttack's avatar

You ever see that episode of seinfield? George goes without sex for a couple weeks and he became a genius. You could be onto something there. Personally I’ll take the pleasure of ploughing my gf instead of smarts, but to each his own.

ragingloli's avatar

I know that in the age of receding birthrates in the western world, people would want to think that sex is more important than ever, but seriously, why not just import children from Africa. They would have just as much potential as western children, and they would be less rebellious/wasteful, as they know the horror of hunger and scarcity.

brettvdb's avatar

Sex is the single most important thing to me…after Fluther.

willbrawn's avatar

no, I really enjoy it.

Harp's avatar

Yeah, I’d say it is. Certainly not denying that that particular cocktail of neuro-chemicals feels mighty fine, but I do think there are better things to place at the center of one’s life than the quest for a sexually-induced dopamine rush. There’s definitely a place for it in the healthy human life, but it shouldn’t be in the driver’s seat.

MrGV's avatar

Sex will never be overrated until it stop feeling good.

CMaz's avatar

It is not that sex is overrated. I wrote the book on it. :-)
It is that in order to get the best and fullest experience out of it.
You have to understand, it is only part of the puzzle.

Knowing what you are getting into. Compassion and passion.
With a good dose of respect for one another is what works best.

WIthout that recipe, I would rather walk the dog, watch a movie, hang with my friends or read a good book.

Bluefreedom's avatar

Masturbation is overrated too sometimes but that and sex are both really good things and life is a lot better with both of them as part of it.

Clair's avatar

I do think it’s slightly overrated but not much. I think more than being overrated, it’s viewed in the wrong context…ok, I got togue tied and read @ChazMaz‘s comment. That’s what I’m trying to get out! Awesome!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

my first response was “you’re clearly not having good sex”
and it was a correct response as you’re not having sex at all
BUT that doesn’t mean that your life is incomplete or that you can’t function…it’s completely possible that for some people, this isn’t an essential part of their existence…I’m not of those people but so what

dynamicduo's avatar

Some people simply have a lower need for sex. I’m one of them. Once I got it out of my system hehehe I found I don’t really have a burning need for sexual relations. And I’m perfectly content not having that burning need, it lets me do lots of crafting for one!

wundayatta's avatar

Everybody is different. Let me say that again. Everybody is different! You’re need for sex is different from mine and everyone else’s. You can ask other people about their need for sex, but it is not helpful for you to compare yourself to anyone else. If you haven’t had it in a long time, and you don’t miss it, then be happy. You are not longing for something you don’t have. That can be a very depressing feeling.

For me, sex is the way I understand someone loves me. It’s probably the most important thing in the world to me. It is the only time I feel ok. I would be grateful to be like you. This need has given me no end of trouble. But that’s me. That’s my life. As they say, YMMV (your mileage may vary).

jazzjeppe's avatar

I just think that everything seem to be about sex. Sex here, sex there, sex everywhere. Can’t open a magazine, watch a commercial, turn on the telly. I think that sex is overrated and “mainstream”: Everyone should have sex and also think it’s the best thing in the world.

I simply don’t think it is. I know many things I’d rather do then having sex. But, sex is also about closeness, touching and feelings. That I can miss, sometimes so much it hurts. And these things shouldn’t be mixed up with sex. I think.

wundayatta's avatar

@jazzjeppe Ah, but they are mixed up with sex. However, missing closeness and touching and feelings is a real loss, and is probably your real question. How can you get these things, you may be wondering? Perhaps you’re wondering if you really need them. Anyway, if that’s the question, ask it.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t think they either have or don’t have to mix up with sex
it’s just that sometimes, rarely, when they do mix in a most amazing way, there’s nothing I’d rather do

Darwin's avatar

The physical act of sex plays a different role at different times in one’s life, and despite what many teen age boys think, it isn’t the sum total of existence. However, at any time of life most people are both healthier and happier if they have the type of closeness with another person that can come as a result of sex and the type of steady relationship that allows both parties to become vulnerable. There are other ways to achieve that closeness besides sex (although sex is probably one of the fastest ways to get there, all other aspects of couplehood considered), so I hope you are able to figure out how to do that.

cwilbur's avatar

Sex is nice. But physical and emotional intimacy is what really matters, at least for me.

CMaz's avatar

jazzjeppe – I understand your anguish.
Sex is so mainstream these days and in your face that it has become convoluted.
It has lost that personal and intimate edge. Not to say we still cant be. But, sex is becoming more of a sex for the sake of sex.
When you are trying to find that special person even for an intimate encounter, it seems (for me) that you have to sweep aside too many, “kids in a candy store.”
It can get frustrating.

filmfann's avatar

Sex, and only sex, might be overrated. But when in combination with the closeness of someone special to you, it is underrated.

peyton_farquhar's avatar

I like sex, but mostly for the intimacy and the bond I share with my boyfriend. It is an intense and personal experience for me. I have never had a casual sexual relationship. Sex is a huge allowance of trust, and trust is something that is difficult for me to give freely.

So, in answer to your original question, sex may be overrated, but the intimacy of human contact is not.

Clair's avatar

@filmfann That’s perfect. That’s what I was trying to get out.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

I like sex…...a lot

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

I like sex a lot. I know people who feel no need for it at all. Different strokes for different folks, no pun intended.

Sex is like sports. Sports is very important to some people. Some people find it so important that they put it ahead of their family (where do you think all those silly golf jokes come from?)

I don’t like sports, I don’t understand sports, and to me, it is a complete waste of time, resources, and energy. But that’s just me, and I won’t judge someone on the things they really really like.

Saying sex is overrated sounds like sour grapes. If you don’t like sex, or don’t need it, and do just fine without it, well good for you.

Life is about choices, your results may vary.

cak's avatar

Sex is part of the picture of a relationship, for me. It is important, but isn’t the single-most important part of a relationship. I guess I believe it should compliment a relationship, not define and it should not be the one strength of a relationship…if it is, that’s not a true relationship.

galileogirl's avatar

A lot of people look at sexuality in a linear fashion ranging from horndog 17 yo to a contented celibate. Really it is much more complicated, more like a cube. at opposite corners there may be the hyper and hypo sex drives of those individuals but there are almost infinite points within in that space. At 17 some people might hump anything that crosses their path but it is also normal for others to have more powerful desires like a need for mental and emotional inimacy as well as physical.

A young couple in their 30’s may have a great sex life but drop a toddler and an infant into the mix and there will be a definite drop in libido.

No matter how active one’s sex life has been, physical aging can slow things down.

And there are some people who are, for whatever reason, just not interested. People have different needs and desires. That’s as normal as having a need for more or less food, more or less sleep or any other physical requirement.

loser's avatar

Sex just gets me in trouble.

galileogirl's avatar

@loser Maybe you’re not doing it right?

joooon's avatar

I’ve never had it and I don’t think I ever will so I try not to think about it.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

Absolutely not. I have had periods of deliberate abstinence lasting several years each but when I do enjoy sex, it’s one of the best reasons to be alive.

joooon's avatar

What can be so great about it?

SuperMouse's avatar

I don’t think sex is overrated, but I do think the lack of sex is over lamented.

sakura's avatar

over rated under rated it depends who you are, however for me personally it depends on who its with!!!

TitsMcGhee's avatar

Good sex is probably my favorite activity, but it takes effort to make it good. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it, to be quite honest.

saranwrapper's avatar

you’re doing it wrong

La_chica_gomela's avatar

No, I love sex. It’s the best. It’s my favorite favorite. Obviously not just any sex with just anyone, but that’s how most things are.

Disc2021's avatar

Do I think sex is overrated? No.

Do I think there are much more important things that deserve more focus? Absolutely. It’s one thing to enjoy the pleasures of it in a responsible manner, it’s another to get carried away and addicted to it.

prude's avatar

um, I love sex. I want it everyday.
in fact, the more the merrier, right?
I think it is great if I can achieve orgasm and multiples make it even better.

willbrawn's avatar

@prude love your name and your comment.

cyn's avatar

No. Sex is natural…not overrated even if you’re bad or great.

prude's avatar

@willbrawn um, thanx (?)

J3SSK4's avatar

Whats overrated is people constantly talking about it.

YARNLADY's avatar

I never have been able to understand the concept that ‘sex sells’. I’m not influenced by sales presentations that use sex or innuendo to try to get me to buy their product.

In a relationship, it can be a real problem when the couple is not in agreement in their needs. I feel sorry for the couple where one thinks three times a day isn’t enough and the other thinks three times a month is too much. When they are both on the same page, it can be a wonderful thing.

cwilbur's avatar

@YARNLADY: you might not be influenced by it, but there are a lot of people who are. It may be more a visual-male thing, too—first noticing the curves on the model, and then noticing the bottle of beer that’s the real subject of the ad, for instance.

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