General Question

hopscotchy's avatar

Do you allow your dog to sleep in bed with you?

Asked by hopscotchy (552points) June 29th, 2009

This is the current debate in my household, just wondering how the other dog owners out there run things. I’m interested in your reasons for allowing it or not.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

39 Answers

skfinkel's avatar

Not a dog owner at this time (and probably never again) but my answer would be absolutely not. However, not a dog lover either.

Dog's avatar

A lot depends on the size and manners of the dog.

If this is a debate between spouses the dog does not go on the bed. Do not make the dog the symbol of disrespect from one spouse to another.

In our home my spouse said no and I respectfully do not allow our dog on our bed. We do allow the dog to sleep on the kids beds if both dog and kids wish it. Otherwise we have a very nice dog bed.

dannyc's avatar

Me no, my wife yes. So by corollary, I am also guilty.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

I used to but he is too pushy and ends up in the middle of the bed, diagonal just as I would prefer to be so he’s been shuffled to a doggie pillow outside my bedroom door.

irocktheworld's avatar

I did, but my puppy always wanted to play instead of resting,sleeping,or relaxing lol

elijah's avatar

My one dog is allowed in my bed. Not the other two though. My little girl is hairless so she needs to be cuddled. She is very spoiled. The two boys are tougher. They have fur.

Jude's avatar

My Chia-Pom starts out in his dog bed on the floor. When I get up in the morning, he wants up on the bed, and then burrows under the covers. At this point, he has the bed to himself. The feline in the “family” tends to sleep at the end of the bed through the night. Mostly, on my feet.

Tink's avatar

I let my baby pug sleep on it with me and she doesn’t lick me, thats why I let her

Darwin's avatar

We have five dogs, and if I let one of them sleep with me, then they would all want to. Then there wouldn’t be room for me, especially since they range in weight from 35 to 120 pounds.

I have found, though, that different dogs have different manners when sleeping in my bed. Sally spreads herself out as wide as possible and pushes against me, often pushing me right out of bed. Boudreaux likes to lie on top of me and, since he weighs 65 pounds, that is a bit uncomfortable. Bourbon curls in a tiny (relatively speaking) ball on the far corner of the bed while Shorty wants to lie neatly along side of me under the covers. Scarlett likes to lie at right angles to me, with either one paw on me, or her head on my feet. She has a really heavy head so she always makes my feet go to sleep.

Right now, I do not let any of them sleep on me, but they do sleep on the floor around me on dog beds and blankets they have stolen from my son’s bed. The cats generally do sleep on me, though, three or four at a time.

hopscotchy's avatar

@dog this is a debate between soon-to-be-spouses. i’m fine with the dog in the bed now but when we have a child things are going to be different. i wonder if we should nip it in the bud now or deal with it when we get there.

The_Compassionate_Heretic's avatar

Anyone who sees what dogs do outside knows that dogs bring whatever they were rolling around in outside, inside. I would choose not to sleep in what dogs roll around in.

DrBill's avatar

I love my dogs, but I am the pack leader, and the bed is mine alone.

chyna's avatar

No, I do not let my dog sleep in my bed with me. She has a nice doggie bed beside my bed though.

Nefily's avatar

There is no way I would let my dog sleep in my bed. Even though she is a tiny lab she is still big enough and hairy enough to be a bother. My dog is only allowed on the main floor she is not allowed downstairs or upstairs and this works out great because it is easier to clean up the dog hair. She is cute and all but a dog is a dog and should have structure. It makes her more of a joy to be with. Plus she waits in the hallway for me to get up and it is so much cuter that way then turning in your bed and finding a slobbery dog.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

Well, our indoor dog does sleep in our bed, and since she only weighs about 12 lbs, she isn’t that much of a problem. She is a very clean dog, never outside alone, and so it is just fine by me to let her in the bed. Sure, she’s spoiled, but then so is my wife and I let her sleep in my bed, too. :-P

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

I have a Bull Mastiff and a huge German Shepard/Wolf mix, if they want to sleep on my bed, it’s not really up to me at that point…..

Darwin's avatar

@ABoyNamedBoobs03 – You sound like a friend of mine who had three Akitas and lived on a cruising sail boat. You could tell when all aboard had retired to the V-berth because the boat was definitely weighed down at the bow.

I had another friend who raised Rhodesian Ridgebacks. He eventually let them have the big king-sized bed, while he slept on a twin mattress on the floor in the corner. For some strange reason he never seemed able to stay married for long.

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

I don’t mind it though, it doesn’t really bother me, they’re both big babies and have some weird cuddle fetish, so snuggle up close, if I don’t have a guest over, that is. If I do, they stay outside.

juwhite1's avatar

No – I don’t want the dog hair in my bed, I already have to struggle to have my space just sharing my bed with my husband, and it sends the wrong message to the dog. You need the dog to see you as the alpha. In my opinion, letting the dog sleep in the bedroom, but on the floor on its own doggy bed, helps send a continual message that you are the master (elevation is important in displaying dominance for packs). Being the alpha dog will keep both you and the dog happier in the long run.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

@juwhite1 yeah, my dog trainer said the same thing, but my dog always listens to me. I have no problems getting her to mind and respect me, so I think that particular line of alpha dog psychobabble is a bunch of hooey.

juwhite1's avatar

@evelyns_pet_zebra – It likely depends on the dog. It wouldn’t be an issue with a dog that has a submissive personality. With a dog like my mother’s, who is very dominant, he actually tries to get on higher ground when he doesn’t want to obey, and once we get above him, he finally listens. Thank goodness he doesn’t decide to be obstinate very often!

Darwin's avatar

The alpha dog business depends a lot on the individual dog. Of our five dogs, three have never, ever considered me not to be alpha, and they also listen to and obey the other human members of the family (and one or two of the cats). Establishing alpha status has not really been an issue with them.

However, Boudreaux, our Pit Bull, and Scarlett, our American Bulldog, are both aggressive dogs so I have had to work harder at convincing them of their place in our pack. Even now, my husband has problems with those two thinking he doesn’t have the right to tell them to get out of his chair. They also periodically test me but since I have been known to pick them up and dump them on their backs, they seem to feel that I do outrank them.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

We have two bullmastiffs, both over 100 lbs. One sleeps in the bed with us, and the other doesn’t anymore because she hurt her shoulder jumping down once. If either of my dogs showed dominance problems then they absolutely would not be allowed in the bed. Not allowing them on the bed is one of many good ideas for asserting who the pack leader is in your household. I just like having mine in the bed… they cuddle better than my husband even :)

YARNLADY's avatar

I have always allowed my dogs on the furniture and sleep wherever they want. I am not ‘Mrs Clean’ when it comes to pets.

Darwin's avatar

I solved the pet hair problem by posting magnetic signs on the door:

What Dog Hair?

Yes, there are cat hairs on the couch. What’s your point?

Enter at your own peril. You have been warned.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

**Let me add to my comment 2 posts up that a good way to tell if your dog should possibly be kicked out of your bed for good is this- if you can tell them once to get off the bed and they obey without question, then they know who the pack leader is and do not confuse cuddling in the bed with you as being your equal. If your dog growls, is sluggish, or plain won’t move, then you have a problem. Kick the dog (not literally) out of the bed TONIGHT, and start with some basic role-specific training.

mammal's avatar

yes, i used to, she has gone now though
i loved snuggling up with her :(

OpryLeigh's avatar

Yes I do, I know from a dog trainig point of view this is not the “done” thing but from experience with taining my own and other peoples dogs I find that it depends on each individual dog and owner. My dog knows that I am pack leader and because she never does anything for me to worry that she is getting above her status I allow her to sleep on the bed with me. As soon as I say “off”, she will get off the bed and not get back on until I tell her and as long as she continues to obey that command I will allow her to sleep on the bed.

She is quite cheeky at times though because she starts off sleeping at the bottom of the bed but I will often wake up in the night to find her under the covers with her head on the pillow!!! Luckily she is a Jack Russell so not big enough to irritate me in any way. I also have problems with anxiety and get nightmares regularly and so I find having her there a big comfort.

Having said that, when my partner stays with me she is not allowed to sleep on the bed and will sleep in her second favourite place, the conservatory!

casheroo's avatar

If this is a debate because you will be having children, and you plan to cosleep at all, you cannot have any animal in the bed with you.
We had a dog when we first dated, and I hated him sleeping in bed with us…he was a bigger dog, and the beagle I had growing up wasn’t so big. I didn’t like having something in between of me and my I rarely allowed the dog in bed with us. I regret that now :(
One of our cats sleeps in bed with us, usually in between my husbands legs. We coslept for 14 months, with out son, so we didn’t allow the cats in the bedroom at night for a while, until they got used to the baby. Then we allowed the one cat to come into the room, because we know our cat and trusted him. He stayed at the end of the bed.

Clair's avatar

My chihuahua/jack russell mix is so ridiculously spoiled. He sleeps where ever he wants. Which is usually between Daddy’s legs or right over my head.
First thing in the morning, he rolls over and licks me, opening up his little belly with a face that says, “Pet me!”

YARNLADY's avatar

@casheroo We’ve never had a problem with co-sleeping including the dog. The baby sleeps at the top of the bed with us, and the dog stays at the bottom.

He is a terrier with very little shedding, and we have a King Size bed.

cak's avatar

Of course I don’t; however, they decide to do what they want to do. They are terrible at following directions! We have dog beds, for both of our dogs. The big one, she’s a nutcase. She’s a cuddle bug and needs that attention. She determines sleeping positions for the rest of us. The 22 pounder, well, she’s the queen…until it comes to the bed. I think she’s learned to hold on to the edge.

It’s pretty funny in the morning, when one decides that it is time to wake usually the big one there a lot of “chatter” lots of dog conversation.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

@cak Why do you let your dog determine everyone’s sleeping positions? Do you care that it makes her feel as if she is the alpha?

chyna's avatar

Cak doesn’t sweat the small stuff like sleeping arrangements. She’s probably just happy that everyone is at home and in bed.

BBSDTfamily's avatar

In doggy world sleeping arrangements are far from small stuff… Besides, I wouldn’t get a crook in my back etc. because my dog made me sleep sideways! If I let mine rule the bed, I’d have to sleep spread eagle, lol

casheroo's avatar

@YARNLADY I personally believe it depends on the animal. But following the cosleeping guidelines, no pets should even be in the bedroom. God forbid something happens, people automatically blame the parents for even cosleeping (even if it was SIDS)

YARNLADY's avatar

@casheroo Yes, I would not have allowed my other dog in with the baby. It definitely depends on the dog. This one knows he has to move over when anyone tells him to.

cak's avatar

@BBSDTfamily – It’s a matter of logistics and also sleeping positions changing in the night. It’s not really a conscious decision. The dog is big and loves to stretch out. My husband is a big guy and loves to stretch out – he’s pushing 6’5” and is around 240. The other dog, 22lbs and I (5’2” and 104), neither of us really move a lot. It just happens.

It’s just the bed, that’s all. She’s really not acting like an Alpha dog…not the big girl, no way. She’s too wimpy. She’s just big and loves to stretch.

RachelZ's avatar

I used to, until I learned about being the Alpha in our pack. We have a coonhound & a Lab/Vizla they are much happier to go into their comforable crates at night! I love my dogs and they are spoiled, but there has to be structure! Also my husband wouldnt let me haha :)

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther