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LongLost's avatar

How can I get back together with her?

Asked by LongLost (1points) July 14th, 2009

I have a group of friends in class and we were just fine until one of my bestfriend named “A” suddenly become lonely person and wont join our conversation and sit behind and sleep. I know shes tired of her life coz her mom runaway from home and now she live with her dad and sis. And now she lost her laugh.. and now I feel like my relationship between me and A become colder and all we talk about is only serious thing about homework..i try many things to make her laugh..I even try to make a fool of myself by doing stupid jokes but she only smile..but I saw she was laughing with her other friend and not with me..yes.. I did feel jealous there..

And my “B” friend try to save me from A who she believe that A didn’t know how to appreciate friendship. B ignore A. so A feel left out and didn’t want to talk to B since she already did say Hello to B but B still ignore A..B wanted to teach A with that way with a reason that B wont forgive A mistake until she say sorry to me..

But from my perspective point of view.. the reason she cant laugh with me is because B was nice to me but not to her..and A don’t want to disturb me with B and let me be with B..

When at the library..i wanted to sit near A but A shooed me away for me to sit with B..whats with her? Cant I be with her? Its like she cage herself and scared to be near me because she scared of B..

Im sorry for the long and confusing problems and a lot of grammar error but what can I do? I feel so bad about this

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3 Answers

PandoraBoxx's avatar

I think the fact that that she has a hard time laughing has less to do about you and more to do with a certain level of depression. She’s having problems with her relationship with her mom, ran away from home, and now lives with her dad? That’s stressful. Any time your relationship with one of your parents is not good, you can have a certain level of stress and unhappiness, until you either resolve it or come to terms with it.

B does seem to be a problem for A; why is B always hanging around? See A on your own without your shadow, and talk to her. More important, quit trying to make her laugh, and just listen to her.

marinelife's avatar

I agree with all that PandoraBoxx said above. I would add this:

The best thing to do is to tell A what is you are really feeling. For example, “It hurts me to see you hurting. That is why I have been trying to make you laugh. All I want though is to provide support and do anything I can do to be there for you. Is there something I could do that would help—even if it is just listen while you talk?”

Listen to what your friend says she needs from you. Remember that you may not be able to fix her problems or make her feel better. You may only be able to be there for her during these tough times.

Then tackle the issue of B. Say something like, “I want to be clear with you that our friendship has nothing to do with B. You are important to me, and I do not want to lose you. We can hang out without B.”

Openness like this may seem hard, but it will clear up misunderstandings. If A is a girl, when she shooed you away in the library and said go be with B, it may have been a sort of emotional test. She may be jealous too. You probably should have said, “I would really rather stay with you, if you don’t mind” and just sat down.

sakura's avatar

Tricky not much more to add except that friendships are complicated enough with honesty without it they can be disasterous. Talk to your friend and tell her how you feel and why you are worried.
Good Luck and let us know how you get on!

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