General Question

loser's avatar

Guys: Would you go out with a woman with a "sometimes" girlfriend?

Asked by loser (14965points) July 22nd, 2009 from iPhone

I’m just not so sure here.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

24 Answers

hug_of_war's avatar

Could you explain what you mean?

loser's avatar

Not much to explain. She says she has a “sometimes” girlfriend who she’s planning to go visit next week. Part of me thinks, oh just try it. Another part of me thinks RED FLAG!!!

marinelife's avatar

Loser, honey, this is a set-up for an unavailable woman. Don’t do it!

Jude's avatar

I agree with Marina. Too messy and you’re bound to get hurt.

loser's avatar

I think I’m just gonna become a monk.

nikipedia's avatar

Would you go out with a woman with sometimes-boyfriend? What’s the difference, really?

MrItty's avatar

Which part is disturbing you? The “sometimes” or the “girlfriend”?

If it’s an open relationship – ie, you’re not exclusive, then presumably you’d be okay with her having a “sometimes boyfriend”. So if it’s the girlfriend part that’s bothering you, sorry, she’s not going to suddenly become not-bisexual just for you. If you can’t accept that, get out now.

If it’s a closed relationship – ie, you are exclusive, then she obviously doesn’t feel that way, as she has something else on the side. If you can’t deal with that, get out now.

jrpowell's avatar

Yeah. This seems bad. I think Niki pretty much summed up my thoughts on this.

You won’t die alone. You can always come to my house and we will drink until our livers explode.

loser's avatar

@johnpowell I like that plan!

fireinthepriory's avatar

Hmm. Speaking as someone who sort of has a “sometimes girlfriend,” I’d be nervous if I were you. What’s keeping them “sometimes?” If it’s distance be especially worried, because if this girl becomes available, you might be in trouble… which could be why she’s being so up-front about it. In fact, I don’t see why she would be up-front about it if she were really interested in you (sorry!) because if she were, she wouldn’t want to do anything that would potentially scare you away. (For example, date someone else!)

So, in conclusion… I’d steer clear of this girl. Sorry, mate.

loser's avatar

It’s not so much that it’s a girlfriend, it’s just that it’s a sometimes anything.

loser's avatar

Thanks y’all. I just needed the reality check.

fireinthepriory's avatar

As @johnpowell said, there’s always alcohol! That’s my plan if my sometimes girlfriend and I don’t work out… :D

filmfann's avatar

I have dated a bisexual woman who was seeing a woman at the time we were dating.
It was fine, and we both enjoyed going out.
Oddly, I didn’t like going out with women who were seeing other men.

chyna's avatar

Are you wanting someone to just hit the movies with as a pal or are you looking for something that could possibly get more serious? If you just want a pal, I don’t see a problem with it, but if you are looking to date, it may not be a good idea.

figbash's avatar

I remember some of your previous posts, and I get the impression that you’re just looking for a real, honest, genuine relationship and don’t want to eff around anymore. This situation has trouble and the potential for drama written all over it.

You’ve been through enough, and you’re too good of a guy for it. Get out of it.

Steven0512's avatar

Yes, have fun with it…just don’t get serious with her or fall in love. If you start falling for her express your feelings and ask if she will stop seeing the GF for a serious relationship.

Jeruba's avatar

I’m with figbash.

Is there any chance you’re not looking in the right places—that is, in the kind of places where you’re most likely to find the kind of woman you want to meet?

tinyfaery's avatar

Well, what are you looking for?If you’re looking for a sometimes girlfriend, go for it. Is she cute? Is she fun? Why does it always have to be about a future? Plus, you are still open to see other people. Sounds win win to me. But that’s me.

Phobia's avatar

I’ll join you all for those drinks. Here here!

If you are looking for something serious, steer clear of this one. Never look for something long term from someone who has a “sometimes” anyone. That’s a clear sign of someone who probably won’t stay committed.

CMaz's avatar

I have no problem with it as long as her sometimes GF come to us, instead of her going there. ;-)

Noel_S_Leitmotiv's avatar

How is this any different than non committed dating where the woman is seeing another man?

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