General Question

coffeenut's avatar

What would you do if HE was in your house?

Asked by coffeenut (6171points) December 15th, 2009

Something wakes you up at 2am, you go to the bathroom,
then you hear a noise in your family room,

After retreaving your “home protection tool” you look into the family room, and see a 6ft fat guy in a red suite with a big red cloth bag….

what would you do?

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30 Answers

ClubJenna's avatar

I wonder if a robber has ever thought to dress up like Santa? It’s quite a genius idea…if they were caught by a child, they’d probably believe that was the real Santa.

I, of course, know better. I would probably beat the jolly ‘ol theif with my “home protection tool”, and then call the authorities.

YCLYHO's avatar

offer him a cup of tea lols

jfos's avatar

@ClubJenna I think that’s in a movie… I don’t remember which one though. He tells the child to go back to bed, or something like that.

Shatzee's avatar

yay presents!

Aethelwine's avatar

I’d ask him where my damn presents were from last year. I didn’t get any!

@jfos Could it be Bad Santa?

ClubJenna's avatar

@jfos I’ve never seen it then, smart robber though…

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I’d have to shoot him for wearing that goofy red suit ;)

ubersiren's avatar

I’d want to hug him because of his bowl-full-of-jelly-belly and general jolliness. Then I would want to ask him a whole bunch of questions. He’d probably answer a few but then tell me he has a lot to do and doesn’t have time to answer them all. I’d give him my card so he could call if he wanted to. It would be fun, as long as Krampus wasn’t with him.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I’d look around for the giant talking M&Ms

JLeslie's avatar

I saw the capital HE and thought you meant God. LOL! I would probably start screaming.

butterflykisses's avatar

He would be met with my sawed off shot gun… The bag would be placed over his head and 911 would be called. We would wait the half an hour for the police to get here, he would then explain to the police who he is. If he was indeed Santa I would fully expect lumps of coal for the rest of my life, but that’s ok. I can heat my home with them. =P

Jude's avatar

I’d tell Uncle Louie to put the big, red bag, that is filled with many a bottle from our liquor cabinet down, re-stock and lock said cabinet, then make Uncle Louie a ham sandwich. Also, I’d tell him that he should get his Rosacea looked at.

TinaK's avatar

Mum!!! Dad!!!! Santa’s here!!!!!! :))))

sevenfourteen's avatar

Make sure he was leaving presents and not stealing them! Then wake my little sisters up and show them.

75movies's avatar

I’d offer him some cookies and milk. Then I’d ask if he needed to use the restroom (after such a long night and all that milk he’d probably be ready to poo). Then just after he craps but before he flushes I start screaming about how someone is trying to steal his sleigh. He’d be so worried about Rudolph that he would leave immediately. Then i’d fish out the turd, bronze it, sell it on Ebay, collect my billion dollars, and have the greatest Christmas ever.

Harp's avatar

Well, first, I’d check the date…

flameboi's avatar

I’ll shot first, then I’ll make some questions (fyi, I don’t believe in santa, maybe is a robber with very poor clothing taste)

jfos's avatar

@flameboi You can’t sleigh santa!

flameboi's avatar

I’m a bit scard of big guys dressed in red :s

75movies's avatar

@jfos but you can jingle his bells

jfos's avatar

@75movies But not as well as you can.

75movies's avatar

@jfos I do play with my bells a lot.

jfos's avatar

@75movies I bet you wring them all the time.

75movies's avatar

@jfos nope, but I do ring my yule log though so it’ll last longer.

jfos's avatar

@75movies Yes, and the stocking sometimes helps.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Chudan punch. Then jodan punch, front kick. That ought to take that sucker down.

Harp's avatar

@aprilsimnel Santa has a black belt, too

RLMinVA's avatar

You should always use a stocking!

Utta_J's avatar

First i would make sure that he was giving me presents and not taking them away….

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