General Question

killerkadoogen's avatar

How do you talk about casual sex?

Asked by killerkadoogen (421points) January 13th, 2010

A female friend and I got somewhat intimate but before it lead to sex we fall asleep half naked. Things got a little weird because old feelings I had for her came back. We talked about it and we are still friends and cool. Did the whole feelings thing blow my chance of ever having sex with her? Do I try to discuss or just wait a see what happens? When we talked she apologized for kissing me and what not I told her she did nothing wrong and we both know there is some attraction. She has not really giving me a answer on the matter.

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8 Answers

trumi's avatar

Dude, walk away.

delirium's avatar

Likely, but as someone who has had and does have an FWB, it can happen. It’s not impossible. The feelings things might have ruined it, though.

Mamradpivo's avatar

Hey, how about that time we almost hooked up? That was cool…

phil196662's avatar

We just see what happens, the Wife met a long time female friend she had not seen in 10 years and all of us hit it off right away and she’s the BFF living with us.

wonderingwhy's avatar

It’s all about managing the emotions and maintaining a level of respect and understanding, particularly when someone else comes into the picture. If you can’t do it step back and reassess, it very likely may not be worth it. Me, I tend to let it go and just focus on the friendship, sometimes it leads down a more physically intimate path, sometimes not, but thus far I’ve always ended up with someone for whom I care deeply and who feels the same way.

Russell_D_SpacePoet's avatar

There is rarely anything casual about sex.

Haleth's avatar

Here’s what I think is going on: she was on the fence before about her interest in you. She felt enough attraction to mess around with you and fall asleep half naked, but had misgivings about going any further. By apologizing for kissing you, she means that she regretted kissing you for her own sake.

If you have strong feelings for her, you may have been acting needy and sentimental around her and your interactions with her might have been emotionally charged. If a girl isn’t sure about her feelings for you, stuff like this will only make her uncomfortable. Now that you’ve confessed your feelings for her and you’re friends, it means you don’t have a shot with her for the time being. At most she’ll get half naked with you again but have misgivings about it.

You should take a step back, focus on other things in your life, and maybe even date some other people. Stop trying to date her for the time being. Either you’ll move on and meet someone new, or later down the road you’ll be able to approach her on more equal terms.

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