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lostinyoureyes's avatar

Ever felt like you missed out on the love of your life?

Asked by lostinyoureyes (1118points) February 19th, 2010

I met a guy this summer, who may not exactly be “the love of my life,” but he sparked something in me that I hadn’t felt for ages. I didn’t know how to handle it so I let it slip before it even turned into anything at all. Now if I try to contact him it’ll just be awkward… I let it slip away because I’m in experienced with dating and didn’t know how to let him know how I felt. I was apprehensive too so I often sent mixed messages.

At first I was mad he never called after a while, but I realized I didn’t even give him a reason to call. I never gave the right signs, even though I was getting them from him.

Has anyone ever felt this way and has it ever worked out for the better?

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24 Answers

susanc's avatar

I’ve missed out on lots of loves of my life but ..
I don’t think we’re limited to only one.

marinelife's avatar

It is a common thing to have happen when you are young and inexperienced. I remember going through the same things.

Many years later, I could see that he was all wrong for me.

But you will always or for a long time wonder if you don’t follow up. So, contact him and say, “I think we could have had something. I was having trouble handling my feelings for you. Would you be willing to try again?”

The worst he can say is no.

slick44's avatar

ya i feel like that, but im married now.its to late for me. i still wonder what i missed

plethora's avatar

Forget the past. If you feel this strongly, you might call him and say you are having a few friends over for dinner and you would like for him to join you. Not a date, just a few interesting people. Or you might email and say, “Hey, been thinking about you. How about a quick drink one afternoon after work ( or on the weekend, whatever). What can he say? NO? If so, now you know you didnt miss anything. I had a woman try this with me and I really appreciated it. She wouldnt have had to do that if she hadnt given me loads of mixed signals because I was very attracted to her. But I stopped contacting her and then I got these invitations. I followed up and she had just me over for dinner. It was in the summer and she was tall and gorgeous in short shorts and heels. I was turned on again. Then I got all the mixed signals again, so i said to Hell with it.

But you don’t lose anything by initiating. If he’s into you, he will appreciate it.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Yes, I’ve missed out on the love of my life. That person was myself… I’m still having problems with that one. Past guilt is a wicked beast.

lostinyoureyes's avatar

@plethora That’s interesting, I wonder what her deal was. For me, I found him interesting, sweet, different from everyone else.. But I was apprehensive. I couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly. It may be his appearance.. he’s not unattractive but has a very different look compared to what I’m used to. I’m still not sure. But no matter which way I think of it, I still end up wishing I could see him again. Thank you for your comment.

PhillyCheese's avatar

Yup. That’s why I approach and talk to almost every beautiful woman I see. If I strike out, then whatever, I’ll at least have the satisfaction and ease of knowing that I tried, and not wondered “what couldve been”. But don’t let this get to you, there will be plenty of other people out there. Use this as a learning lesson for the future :)

Cruiser's avatar

Love is the brass ring of life…you gotta make that effort to reach and grab it or forever wonder what it would have felt like to hold that in your hands!!! ;)

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

About seven years ago I discovered that I had not.

Meeting the woman who is now my wife changed my life and gave me the experience of being loved unconditionally.

davidbetterman's avatar

Indeed. Of course they obviously aren’t the love of your life if you missed out on them!

plethora's avatar

@lostinyoureyes For one thing, I found out later, she had hormonal issues, which compounded an overwhelming commitment phobia. There wasn’t even any commitment involved, but for her, just being committed to a date was problematical. I was perfectly willing to accept the idea that she wasn’t interested, but she acted so interested and then everytime I made a move in her direction she turned on a dime. Very frustrating. I stopped it. Didnt need it.

If you wish you could see him again, I would encourage you to initiate in some way.

evandad's avatar

Yes, but I could be wrong.

onesecondregrets's avatar

Yes. Mine “ended” terribly and I beat myself up about it every day, till I talk to him again if I ever do. I was the same way you were, though I was a bit cold because I just wanted nothing, on the exterior at least to do with guys even though the chemistry was undeniable. Now he’s in bootcamp. If you feel it’s right, contact him. Otherwise, I don’t know. Sometimes its just too little too late.

lilikoi's avatar

Why not just contact him and see where it goes?

Zajvhal's avatar

Timing is everything…the best thing we can do is learn from the mistakes. I’m one of those people that hates a “what if,” so if I were you, I’d definitely take the advice of the others and contact him. But having said that, my life experience has shown that if something doesn’t work out once, it’s usually for a reason, I’d contact him so you’ll quit wondering, but honestly I wouldn’t expect it to work out. But you never know…

judochop's avatar

This ocean we swim in is larger than life itself. You have not missed out on anything.

Corey_D's avatar

No, luckily I took the chance and asked her out. So I didn’t miss out.

CaptainHarley's avatar

Nope! If I just glance to my right, I can see her sitting about four feet away. : )))

Haleth's avatar

Yes, I do feel that way sometimes. When I was 16 I started a relationship with an art teacher in a class I was taking. Back then, an eight year age difference was a huge deal and we had to hide the relationship. I was very dramatic back then and had a lot of tough things going on in my life, so I placed a lot more importance on the relationship than I should have. Things didn’t end well. I really wish I’d met him a few years later or had the self-restraint to wait until I was old enough to date him. Now, we’d both just be 20-something working people. Looking back, I still believe that we were very compatible and that I might have really loved him, even though the circumstances were pretty messed up. Anyone looking at this from an outside perspective would probably say that he took advantage of me, but I was the one who really pushed for us to get together and he took a lot of convincing.

Still, there was something about him that was so different. He was goofy and sarcastic, but it was a front for self-doubt. He possessed a lot of empathy. I still really miss him every few months or so, just out of the blue. I’d really like to meet someone else as compelling, but I understand that things like that take patience. :)

lostinyoureyes's avatar

@Haleth – Oh my gaw, I just read your other post. Sounds very sweet. Someone said above that even if I contact this guy, things may not work out. But…so what? Just missing out on the experience, the chance to feel something is what bothers me. We can’t all say we’ve had a love like that. But you can :) Lucky you!

But… I still don’t see myself contacting him. I need to somehow make it look like an accident.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I met a guy when I was on a long weekend holiday in Cornwall when I was about 17 years old. He told me that he thought I was beautiful and the feeling was definately mutual. However, I was to shy at the time to go any further with it. I just thanked him for the compliment, smiled and went back to whatever I was doing at the time. For months afterwards I was kicking myself for not getting to know him more and I couldn’t get him out of my head. I really thought that I had missed my chance. Then a few years later, I met the person who did become the love of my life and the rest, as they say, is history.

ucme's avatar

No never did.It would be they who missed out I can assure you.Modesty being my primary attribute.

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