Social Question

Neizvestnaya's avatar

How often do you call your SO during their work hours?

Asked by Neizvestnaya (22622points) April 26th, 2010

If they don’t respond to their own celly then do you start calling the workplace number directly?

Do you discourage your children to call you or your SO during work hours unless it’s an emergency?

How many times do you call until you give up and wait for them to reply?

I’m experiencing annoyance at people who don’t understand their partners come to work to make money instead of phone chatting. I happen to field calls all damned day long from partners who somewhow think if their person doesn’t reply to a private celly text or voicemail then they’ll magically be available by hounding them through the workplace phone line. Why is it people just don’t get these kind of simple things?

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50 Answers

MarcoNJ's avatar

Wow. That’s a bit obsessive. I’d be extremely annoyed if my wife called my job – unless it was an emergency.
My wife and I usually speak once a day…and that’s when she’s on the way home from work. Rarely, if ever, during work hours.
But we text each other regularly throughout the day.

Fernspider's avatar

I usually ring my partner once a day – around lunchtime. He goes home for lunch to let our dog out for the toilet and to give him some love. I like to call to see how he and the doggie are :)

If he doesn’t pick up, I know he will eventually call me back when he spots his missed call.

I don’t think it is fair to call and call and call all day long in desperation unless for emergencies.

wonderingwhy's avatar

Not often, unless it’s something that just can’t wait or unless one of us in in the others area.

No kids, no worries.

If they don’t pick up on the second try, I just leave a message and/or IM/email them.

Talk to the other person try to understand their motive. Let them know it’s causing you problems. Be clear and understanding but make it known, in no uncertain terms, that this behavior isn’t acceptable for you.

JLeslie's avatar

We usually talk about twice a day.

janbb's avatar

Probably a couple of times a month; rarely to chat, just to arrange something.

Blackberry's avatar

Clingy and obsessive people annoy me, they are the pinnacle of low self esteem and having no life (unless it’s an emergency, of course).

JLeslie's avatar

@Blackberry For me it is not being clingy, it is being connected.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

We text the whole time and when I have a free minute, I talk to him on the phone.

Aethelwine's avatar

We text and call each other if we need something, or if there is an emergency, but I never call him just to chat (he’s working!). My husband works on a farm, so there are times when he is riding in a tractor and is bored. Those are the times he’ll call just to chat.

Kismet's avatar

Normally him and I text back and forth most of his work day.
I’ve never called him during work for something other than planning lunch or a date.

I won’t deny I am clingy, but I’d like to think I know when to give my partner space.

rebbel's avatar

I don’t mind my girlfriend calling me when i am at my job.
As much as she wants.

tinyfaery's avatar

Rarely. That’s what texts are for.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

I only call my husband when necessary, as he does me. That’s all I’m going to say on the subject, because if I elaborated, I’d make several enemies on here. But I WILL say….grow up!!!

trailsillustrated's avatar

I don’t work but he does, I get a call at 9am, he comes home for lunch, I get a call around 3, then one at about 4:30, sometimes I get as many as 8! calls a day- i don’t say anything but sometimes I am slightly annoyed like if I am napping

Captain_Fantasy's avatar

That’s where texting is good to have.
Phone calls at work are for emergencies.
Or lunchtime.
Texting with your SO is fun, or at least it is in the beginning.

eden2eve's avatar

When someone is working, he’s being paid for doing what he’s committed to do. Unless it’s an emergency, I think it’s not good to call at work. Most things can wait until he’s off the clock.

YARNLADY's avatar

Almost never. We send e-mails for the normal stuff, like the plumber is coming tomorrow, and the phone calls are only for the plumber is here now and has a question.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’m with you guys on texting is the way to go to not call attention to yourselves and also to make sure it’s not a bad time to call and talk. I get people calling and complaining their partners aren’t picking up the cellys which makes me want to screech, “if they’re aren’t answering the celly then doesn’t that tell you they’re busy and can’t respond yet, haven’t you considered maybe they’re busy trying to make some damned business?!”

My partner and I text through the day but if he doesn’t respond promptly then I know he’s got customers or isn’t in a good spot to talk. I encourage his focus to be on work first and paying me attention after. His kids would never call him on the work phone because they know it could make it look bad for him as well as cost him money away clients.

Fernspider's avatar

My partner enjoys getting a call from me each day at lunch time… we don’t find it clingy. It’s only a few mintutes to say “Love you, thinking of you. How is the doggie? Is your day going ok?.”

He has hassles at work and it is nice for him to have the opportunity to get advice or vent if need be.

I wouldn’t call him if it annoyed him. (PS: His employers have asked that he not txt from the work phone due to the costs on business rates. I can call him for free).

YARNLADY's avatar

@Neizvestnaya Who calls a cell phone a celly?

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@YARNLADY
um, me and… as long as I’ve had one. I know people who call the “the wireless” but I don’t like that as much.

Blackberry's avatar

@YARNLADY Some people from the UK, teens etc.

YARNLADY's avatar

@Blackberry @Neizvestnaya Oh, thanks – it just sound strange to me – we just call it a cell.

MissAusten's avatar

I’m at home with the kids during the day, and my husband is his own boss. His work number is his cell phone number, so we call each other as much as we want during the day. He’ll call me when he’s in the car or painting, just to talk and see what we’re up to. I call him just to say hi or tell him something funny or interesting that just happened. If he’s busy, in a meeting, or can’t talk for some other reason, he’ll just tell me and call back later. If I know he has a lot of meetings or is working someplace with lots of noise (new construction) I’ll hold off on calling him.

When I worked full time, we hardly called each other during the day. It would be strange to get used to that again, since we’re so used to calling each other whenever the urge strikes, but I’m sure we’d adjust. I don’t think it’s clingy because neither of us gets upset if the other is unavailable or if we have a day when we just don’t get a chance to talk on the phone at all.

Oh, and to comment on the asker’s personal annoyance…yes, that would bug me. I see our situation as a perk for the self-employed. On someone else’s dime, in that kind of work environment, calls should be reserved for break times or emergencies.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I rarely call him at work.It would have to be an emergency for me to do that and I have usually been able to take problems on without any help.;)

Ponderer983's avatar

I don’t call unless it’s something of relative importance. I usually text throughout the day just to take breaks from the monotony of work

charliecompany34's avatar

maybe about three times. i check on the morning commute with the kids. another time in the morning at her job and then at about the close of biz day with an email message. i stay in touch with my woman!

not a “lack of trust” at all, but just a call to say “how are things going?” if i don’t call, she’ll call me and say, “hey you usually call me—everything ok?”

it’s marriage. it’s love too. but marriage and love are two different animals. somebody knows what i mean.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

What I don’t get is….what the hell do you have to say to each other so many times a day!!?? Didn’t you JUST see each other a couple hours ago? This is just bazaar. I’m with eden2eve. You’re not getting paid to sit & talk 15 times a day. 99% of stuff can wait until you get home. I used to work with a gal who had 2 kids. She dropped them off at her mom’s on her way to work. In about an hour, she’d call her to see what outfit she’d put on the baby. Then she’d ask what they ate. Same routine in the afternoon several times. It was enough to make me gag. I carry this thought process with husbands & wives, too. I find it quite ridiculous, IMHO.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@Ponderer983 I like your squirrel LOL

JLeslie's avatar

@jbfletcherfan I say, “hi honey!” He says “hi” back, we might say more we might not, depending on how busy we are at work, or if there is anything that has come up during the day that we might need to run past each other. It is just a touch base, I love you, I think about you.

Fernspider's avatar

* giggle * look at all the squirrels!

@jbfletcherfan – it can be a bit silly. I just love to hear a little piece of home and what I look forward to coming home to. Makes me feel good, makes him feel good. Win win.

Incessant calling when someone is busy and then becoming upset about not having undivided attention is really unfair though.

charliecompany34's avatar

@jbfletcherfan unlike SO relationships, marruage is communication. yes, we (or even SO couples) can go all day without a conversation because we know we are at work. it depends on the deepness and integrity of the relationship,.

some people choose not to talk all day and some chose to connect some how or someway no matter how much time was spent prior to separating for the work day.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@charliecompany34 “it depends on the deepness and integrity of the relationship”. I hardly think that because my husband & I don’t live on the phone with each other every day that our 43 year marriage is any less deep than yours.

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t think in necessarily exhibits a deepness of the relationship either. When my husband travelled a lot for work, we did not typically speak during work hours, and that was for the first 7 years of our marriage. Some of it is just ritual, whatever ritual you have decided on as a couple. But, people who feel it is clingy and obsessive as @Blackberry mentioned, those words imply not being able to comprehend why anyone would want to touch base with their SO a couple times during the day, or might be annoyed by a quick call from their SO, like it is a control issue, and that is odd to me.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@charliecompany34
I can say that since becoming more secure in our “coupleness” that I don’t feel the urge to text my SO or feel anxious if I don’t hear from him so often during the day as I did when we were still sizing each other up for a serious relationship. I think stable and secure married couples are the most reasonable with the phone calls, Unfortunately I work in a business made up of mostly insecure and wacked out people so their home lives carry over.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

I never talk to my family while at work, although one daughter will e-mail me at the office, and the other occasionally texts me if she needs something. Usually communications wait until the evening.

Ponderer983's avatar

@jbfletcherfan Thanks…I changed it for you! You had it first it’s only fair

Cruiser's avatar

Work is work not time for phone calls…plus she’s a yoga instructor…not too conducive to having phone conversations so I don’t bother her at her work. More time for Fluthering!

stallion44107's avatar

I call my wife if i HAVE too….as in ” hi your doc’s office called and they want you to call them.” SHE calls when she gets the chance… ” hi just called to see what your doing…” “hi it’s slow here…” “hi just wanted to say i love you…” “hi did you feed the fish?” like wtf??? rofl.

Sophief's avatar

I don’t call him unless it is important. But we text often throughout the day. I couldn’t not hear from him all day.

thriftymaid's avatar

I don’t, but I always think about it.

tedibear's avatar

I only call him if it’s urgent that I talk to him immediately. (The house is flooding, the cat is in a coma, a parent in the hospital, that kind of thing.) He’s very busy at work and doesn’t have time to just chat or say hi. That being said, on occasion he has called me on his lunch hour. It’s not often, but it’s nice when he has the time. If I need him to know something before he comes home from work or I have a non-urgent question for him, I send him an email. His email also goes to his blackberry. He can look at it and decide if he has time to answer right then.

Just pondering… I wonder how much of this is based on how “used to” people are to being able to have a constant connection via cell phone, internet and instant messaging. If one hasn’t embraced technology for that use, there might be less of a perceived need to be able to have that contact. I like that it’s there, but don’t feel the need to constantly be in touch with anyone at any moment.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

My husband & I each have cells. We can call or text anytime we wish. But we still don’t feel the need to be in each others’ hip pockets 24/7.

casheroo's avatar

We mainly text, he calls me on his break when he has to go out and run errands. I never call his workplace unless it’s an emergency….or I’m really angry at him for not answering his phone and I need to get information from him. I consider that an emergency lol

When I was at the end of the pregnancy, and thinking I was in labor every five minutes, he said “call work if you’re really in labor” welll I would get bored and called on a busy Friday night just to freak everyone out. They all about had a heart attack, but weren’t angry.

deni's avatar

never. he doesn’t respond to my texts at work, i can’t imagine if i were to call him in the middle of the day. the earliest i will call him, though, is 430 – 5 ish. i know that the kids are gone and he’s just doing work so i’m not interrupting any teaching.

OpryLeigh's avatar

Very rarely. It has to be urgent foor me to call my SO’s work number. In fact, during the working day I only speak to him if he has called me.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@Blackberry I’m from the UK and the only people I have ever heard call phones “celly’s” are Australian! Usually people in the UK just call them mobiles.

Fernspider's avatar

I suppose being disruptive can also depend on the SO’s occupation or work environment.

NaturallyMe's avatar

Never. We work together so i see him just about 24/7 365. :D But even when we used to work at different places, i didn’t call him all day long. In face, i seldom called him at all. And i’d never call just to chat, it’d be for some specific reason.

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