Meta Question

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

Has there been some sort of exodus from Fluther?

Asked by FireMadeFlesh (16543points) May 11th, 2010

I’ve noticed that a few of our best and brightest are no longer with us. Is this a sad coincidence, or have I just managed to pick up on the few who have left?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

140 Answers

Aethelwine's avatar

Yes. Several people are not spending as much time here as they used to. including me

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

Why is that?

filmfann's avatar

AstroChuck cited frustraitions with the site, including the repression of humor.
Captain Fantasy is also gone, and I assume for the same reasons, but who knows?
dpworkin left just before the changes were made, and seems to have returned. All three didn’t just leave, but canceled their accounts.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

You can put me on that list with jonsblonde, too. Why? I guess I can live with these new guidelines & having the different tabs to go back & forth between. But the questioning restrictions now make me scared to ever post one again. I never have posted many, but now it’s quite possible that I never will again.

Humor has been squashed. And that’s what drew me to this site in the first place. AstroChuck & “the monkey” always made me laugh. Nothing makes me laugh here now.

But the biggest reason I’ve backed off is some of the users & the assinine questions that get posted. The sex & teeny-bopper questions have driven me away. I’m SO over crap like that. I know you can’t stop people from posting on those subjects, but that’s just the flavor of this place anymore. For me, fluther has had its 15 minutes of fame. I’m going to check in every day to get PM’s, but my interest in posting has gone down hill. So many of my friends aren’t here anymore & I certainly understand why. It’s not fun anymore. It’s a strict regime.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about:

http://www.fluther.com/84206/why-does-my-boyfriend-want-me-to-go-on-the-pill/

‘nough said.

BoBo1946's avatar

the answer to your question is yes…here is an example of why!

check this out… http://www.fluther.com/84030/do-you-feel-a-sense-of-freedom-with-the-new-social/

Reminds me of what happened to AB…it is a ghost town now!

they are trying to take our fun away!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@BoBo1946 they already have, hon. :-(

BoBo1946's avatar

@jbfletcherfan hey, go read the threads on that question…it will piss you off!

Bluefreedom's avatar

I seem to like it here for some strange reason. I won’t be one of those leaving altogether or taking an exodus or boycotting or anything else of that nature. Fluther really isn’t that bad (at all) compared to some other seriously problematic and much less appealing Q&A websites currently found on the Internet.

janbb's avatar

Something feels lacking lately. I understand the reason for the changes and I’m o.k. with clicking among the tabs but I’m not seeing the exciting questions or discussions. It does seem like many people are gone or MIA. I’m not planning to leave and am watching and waiting and still posting but something seems a bit off.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Bluefreedom a period of adjustment…but, when i asked my FIRST question on social…did piss me off to be reminded of grammar, commas, etc…like a teacher disciplining a damn first grader!—geezzz…don’t step on a man’s pride!

check it out… http://www.fluther.com/84030/do-you-feel-a-sense-of-freedom-with-the-new-social/

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@BoBo1946 No, thanks! I’m trying to keep my blood pressure in check. What I don’t know/read won’t hurt me.

janbb's avatar

AC’s account is still here. He may not be gone forever.

BoBo1946's avatar

@jbfletcherfan well, this is why I’m not coming here as much…don’t like to get my BP up either…not leaving..no way jose!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@BoBo1946 Oh, I never said I was leaving. I’m not. I’m saying I don’t check in as much. I’ve just lost interest.

talljasperman's avatar

I’m still here

Aethelwine's avatar

I’ve mentioned this on Facebook to some Fluther friends, but I’ll share it here too. Fluther used to be like that quiet little pub I enjoyed going to. I could sit back with some friends, enjoy a few laughs (and tears) and everyone had a great time. That little pub turned into an all ages dance club with loud music and bouncers breaking up fights. Just not my kind of thing. :/

A few months ago my bad luck irl finally turned around. During this time I noticed several users bickering and just being very rude with others here. I’m trying to get away from that type of negativity, and if it means spending less time on Fluther, that’s what I’ll do. Why would I sit inside and watch people berate each other on the internet when I could go outside and enjoy spending time with my family.

partyparty's avatar

Wel wee ca’nt haul bee gud att speeling or gramer buut wee caan stil hav sum fon hon ere.

hope this isn’t removed, I’m just trying to lighten things up here

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@jonsblond “That little pub turned into an all ages dance club with loud music and bouncers breaking up fights.”

Well said. That’s how I feel about it, too.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@partyparty Now THAT’S funny. You’ve just given me my first smile of the day.

BoBo1946's avatar

@partyparty loll..hey, i’m ok…but, would like a “little respect!” mommy, please don’t send me to my room!

partyparty's avatar

@jbfletcherfan Glad I made you smile. I can spell quite good really !!

BoBo1946's avatar

out of here…see you folks in da funny paper!

partyparty's avatar

@BoBo1946 Sooooo, can we have some of your extremely funny stories now LOLL?

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@partyparty Or should that be “quite well”? LOLLLL

partyparty's avatar

@jbfletcherfan I only said I could spell, I didn’t say I was good at grammar.
Stop being so pernickety finicky oh what the heck, stop being so fussy LOLLLLL !!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@partyparty Fussy? Moi? Nah. Just poking fun. :-)

BoBo1946's avatar

don’t try these pick up lines..something to give us a little loll..

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Wal-Mart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
Just call me milk, I’ll do your body good.
Your body’s name must be visa, because it’s everywhere I want to be.
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going.
Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I’ll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I’ll do it your way right away.
I’d like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.
Is that Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants.
Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I’ll slam you all night long.
Excuse me, do you have your phone number? I’ve seem to have lost mine.
I’m new in town, could I have directions to your house.
If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?
I love every bone in your body – especially mine.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Hi, I’m a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?
I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into that cheap motel room.
The fact that I’m missing my teeth just means that there’s more room for your tongue.
Guy: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?” Girl: “Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@BoBo1946 LOLLLL…you’re a mess!

gailcalled's avatar

Here’s today’s teenage-with-new-hormones question: http://www.fluther.com/84212/if-you-were-him-what-would-your-feeling-be-and-what/

Wel wee ca’nt haul bee gud att speeling or gramer buut wee caan stil hav sum fon hon ere.

I speak only for myself, but I find yet another version of phonetic language exceedingly tiresome. It has been done over and over and over. I’ve got more interesting things to do with my time, although I do understand that there are fans of the garble.

And, silly me, I find things not funny after I have read them for the 12th time.

partyparty's avatar

@BoBo1946 Get out of here!! LOLL :-)

BoBo1946's avatar

asked a social question using these lines…got shot down!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@BoBo1946 See? You won’t see any more questions out if THIS kid!

BoBo1946's avatar

@jbfletcherfan they deleted the first one without explanation..posted it again, but changed the wording…it was accepted..or, thought i posted it.

chyna's avatar

I have noticed it also, and don’t understand why. This site was going downhill with very rude and mean answers to questions that didn’t really deserve those types of answers. It got to the point that I was embarrassed for the person being rude. And it was not just new people, some of the oldsters were doing it, too. Also, there were the NSFW questions that some people were using their 3 questions a day to ask. Apparently, just for the attention. And of course, the “Does my 3rd cousin twice removed love me” questions. We all hated something about Fluther, so the owners listened and did what they thought was best for now. I think they will listen again if this site isn’t what we the users want out of it. Because, although it is Ben, Andrew and Tim’s site, they made it for us and want us to keep coming back. Andrew said something on another thread that I had never thought about. I can’t remember exactly what it was, but it made me realize that he and Ben think like we do, have made friends like we have and hate to see beloved jellies leave. OMG, I sound like DalePetrie, very wordy.

partyparty's avatar

@gailcalled I find things not funny after I have read them for the 12th time.

Then I would suggest you only read them once.
Where is your sense of humour?

Dog's avatar

Psssttttt… some of those awesome folk who are mentioned as no longer here have been lurking and reading. :)

I do not think that there is a exodus. In fact I am seeing a lot more activity from older jellies who have not posted in 6 months or more.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@Dog I’m posting on this question because it gives me the opportunity to express how I feel. You’re not going to see me many other places. Yes, I’ve been lurking. Just READING. Waiting for something that interests me enough to post on. And that, anymore, is sadly few & far between.

MissAnthrope's avatar

There has been a small exodus, in that a few people have left. Others, I think, are hanging around and watching how stuff plays out. I don’t mean to be invalidating of people’s feelings or frustrations, but I personally don’t understand what the big deal is. The site hasn’t changed that much. I have seen humorous answers, even semi-off-topic answers, left alone in the General section. I haven’t perceived any militant smack-down of people using Fluther as it’s been used. I’ve posted a question or two, I’ve commented some, and I have not been modded once.

There’s just this phenomenon on free websites, where the management will make some changes, and people get all up in an uproar about it. Like every time Facebook makes a small change, people practically riot. Then, after a period of adjustment, things quiet down and people come to accept the changes. I have a feeling that will happen here, too, once people come to realize that their fears of Fluther becoming some sort of fascist anti-humor regime are about as tangible as smoke.

I think it’s been made pretty clear by the Big Cheeses that no one is going to run you out of here because you want to tell/hear jokes, be social, or have a good time. What I took from management’s communications has been that they want a place for those looking for a less serious experience, as well as those who want to ask serious questions. I know it doesn’t bother some people to get puns and jokes when one is trying to get a serious answer, but I think it does bother a significant enough portion of us to warrant such a change.

I, for one, am truly appreciative that management listens to us, is concerned about keeping us around, and that we’re having an enjoyable experience here. I know change gets people all riled up, but can we all just take a breath and chill a little bit?

BoBo1946's avatar

@partyparty don’t feel bad…she blasted me this morning..we must be beneath her…she thinks!

Dog's avatar

@jbfletcherfan I understand. I was actually referring to AC. :)

We all step back sometimes and I respect everyone who wants to do so.

Personally I am eager to see how the site solidifies once the newsletter comes out. This means users who were not happy with the earlier Fluther may find this a better fit. There are a lot of really wonderful Jellies in hibernation. I think spring has come!

SuperMouse's avatar

Cyclical people, it is cyclical! I have been through lots of influxes and many an exodus here on Fluther and once all the chatter and complaining have died down, the site settles down and becomes its old comfy self again. Near as I can tell it is all about having patience and rolling with it. While I wait for things to calm down I check in on the activity I have been following, click on my fluther, visit the orphans, and keep track of my closest buddies on facebook.

All that being said, I am truly bummed that our resident six year-old class clown has left the building. He is one I have always considered part of the heart and soul of this site. Come back AstroChuck, come back!

talljasperman's avatar

Maybe it because college/High school is almost out and everyone’s studing for finals and getting ready to move.

Dog's avatar

@SuperMouse Note my prior posts. :D

SuperMouse's avatar

@Dog the both of us are so brilliant, you would think we are the product of the same school system! LOL4RL!

janbb's avatar

@MissAnthrope I think what you said says it all for me!

BoBo1946's avatar

changes did not bother me…but, if you read the threads to my question..not going into it…had my say! .but, it did bothered me! enough said…—got bigger “fish to fry!

oh, again, changes are not bothersome..it is the exclusion (long story) that is felt by many!

Trillian's avatar

“some of the users & the assinine questions that get posted. The sex & teeny-bopper questions have driven me away. ”
Hear hear. This has gone from an intelligent discussion place to a parody of SNL “UH MUH GUH! Did you SEE her butt? It was SO big!” I can pull my eyes out and turn on mtv if I want to hear that.

Arp's avatar

Also, the fabulous Rangerr is taking a short break from teh interwebz for several reasons, for all who have not heard. We miss you, Madi! :(

dpworkin's avatar

I left because my account was suspended to punish me. I came back to see what the changes had wrought. I’m thinking of leaving again. I have been discouraged by the fact that I made two threads deliberately for the purpose of having fun, but one has already degenerated into a place to be mean. (I know, who am I to talk, but I have been trying.)

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@dpworkin I’m sorry, PD (you’re still PD to me). You’re one of the fun ones here. I hope you hang around. :-)

BoBo1946's avatar

@dpworkin stay….know that we have had our differences, but that is okay…what the heck…that is life..we all have different opinions!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Well clearly 60% of this q was just fluff not pertaining to the q, what do you expect?
I haven’t felt the effect of any exodus – not saying it didn’t happen but it didn’t affect me. I’ve been hanging back from Fluther but not because of the new changes – just how it gets after a year or so I think.

dpworkin's avatar

The milestones thread gives me reason to hope.

janbb's avatar

That one and “tell me something great’ are both very positive ongoing threads with a lot of good sharing. If people are looking for something more to connect with around here, they are both good places.

gemiwing's avatar

Things change. Not everyone will like it, nor should they. I view it as another example of humans using that amazing capacity we have for choice. I wouldn’t want someone to stay if they were so terribly unhappy, yet I do hope everyone can settle down soon and find their niche.

I do admit, I’m confused about why people feel they can’t joke anymore. I’ve seen, and participated in, lots of joking on the social tab and chat. I’m more than open to hearing why- because I truly am at sea about the issue. We can even joke in meta. It’s just one tab that is ‘serious business’ and when I don’t feel like being serious- I just don’t go there.

andrew's avatar

To everyone worried about the teen relationship questions, see the specific guidelines and note that we’re moderating them much more heavily.

Flagging also helps, you know.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’m late to the thread but wanted to throw in my two cents about not being irritated by humor or sarcasm. I always understood a post should be given at least three solid answers before any of us could let loose with some fun or snark. I think I’ve missed any truly hurtful and ugly threads because if I see people start to bicker then I just quit following. I went into chat for the first time in almost a year looking for a few jellies who are now MIA :( I really enjoy fluther, especially since there supposedly a knew grammer correction bot for people like me. <<<

tinyfaery's avatar

I’m willing to accept the losses to gain back the likes of breedmitch and drasticdreamer, just to name a few.

I haven’t changed the way I respond one iota. I don’t know what the fuss is all about.

gailcalled's avatar

@tinyfaery: And our wonderful Harpeggio. Breedmich shows up occasionally; he’d better. He is still my beloved Harold. I also miss brownlemur and the Finnish dialogues with blondesjon.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

ahem, where’d that grammar bot go?

Dog's avatar

@gailcalled Thank you! I was trying to remember brownlemur! Awesome- I have a question for them. Off to ask.

AstroChuck's avatar

For the record, my account is still very much active, it’s just me that’s not. As to those who’ve said on other posts that I can’t accept change and should stop botching about it let me make things perfectly clear. I have never made any statement citing frustration with the changes or repression of humor or anything else here on Fluther. Aside from a Facebook posting and a couple of private PM’s, I’ve said nothing here. I really don’t know where that has come from. I am certainly no drama queen and I’m not one to say I’m taking my football and going home. My account will remain active. The only statement I made about not liking the changes was on the Fluther blog. As to my status of not being here being a result of the changes, much of that is true but not exclusively. I have been experiencing a slew of calamities (some major, some not) that began late last summer. That, plus what I consider a lessonibg of quality on this site has resulted in my reduced participation here. This last change was just the final brick in the wall. I could give you specifics as to what really upset me but it’s really not worth it. Just know that I’ve found much of the fun of Fluther gone. So why stay around. I know change is necessary to survive. I also know my place here. I’m just one jelly among many and I seem to be in the minority in regards to my thoughts on this last change. It now seems to me that Fluther is two separate sites. If I had wanted a bunch of different sections I’d go else where. To me Fluther has always been more than just a Q&A site. It has been a Q&A/Social networking site. That, in my opinion, has always been its strength. 
I want to be clear here. I think that the moderators do a great job here. as do the founders. It’s their site to do with what they wish. This is me, not them. Please know that I am mad at no one, I’m just mad at the dirt. And I will continue hanging around, just in a greatly reduced capacity. The other day I left a post on a question about the NALC Food Drive. If something pops up here that really piques my interest then you may see my cherubic face. And you never know what the future my hold.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@AstroChuck I think your post speaks for many. I was saying “ditto” to it. I’m not happy with some of the changes, but then, who am I? Just the squirrel. Most are going with the flow, but what if you don’t like the flow? Then you back off & don’t hang around as much. And that’s what I’m doing, too.

YARNLADY's avatar

I haven’t noticed any more of an exodus than I’ve seen over the entire time I’ve been here. Jellies come and go every month or so as far as I can see.

gailcalled's avatar

@AstroChuck: Just so you don’t show up needing to shave.

janbb's avatar

@AstroChuck Very clear statement. Do what you need to do. Just let us see your cute little punim every once in a while.

Buttonstc's avatar

What many have already said about hanging back also resonates with me.

What I find most frustrating lately is the inconsistency in how both the new as well as the old rules get applied.

Similar to the squirrel above, I find myself increasingly hesitant to post.

So, I’m just kind of watching and waiting for now.

But it just seems that a lot of the spontaneity of the site has been diminished with bot Q and As being deleted all over the place. I find myself asking before posting “Why bother?”

And increasingly I can’t come up with a good enough reason to spend on the frustrations of iPhone typing only to have it disappear for one reason or another.

So, more and more, I just don’t bother and just read instead.

The spontaneity has left for me.

Berserker's avatar

I wouldn’t know as I don’t think I’ve been here long enough to make a proper judgement, but I do know that communities are always changing. Sometimes for the best, sometimes for the worse, sometimes who the hell knows.
I have actually noticed some people leaving but then this always happens. I think we just have to approach the matter as something that’s always shifting, instead of defining it as something frozen based on past experiences. Back when, according to some people, Fluther was the bomb, I’m sure things were changing then and that some people didn’t like it.
I guess in the end you come to realize or figure if it’s good for you or not. People come people go, just like that part of the hood which was a good place to grow up 20 years ago but has today sunk into poorsville and harbours gang activities, or that corner store which used to be a meeting point for the mob but is now a shelter for runaway teenagers.

But I’m taking this just as too seriously as everyone else is.

Or perhaps if it isn’t all that serious, then it’s personal perception which shapes things? Peace and civility may easily be translated to lack of activity. I do want to believe that there’s some corner of the internet where people get along and argue in constructive ways where I won’t be flamed by some crazed anime fan for not saying the word nightmare in Japanese, but the common complaints that seem to be currently attributed to Fluther recently are prominant pretty much everywhere online, right?
It’s way less of an issue here though, I’ll certianly admit.

CMaz's avatar

Once I hit 20k, I m moving to Fiji.

janbb's avatar

Sorry @ChazMaz Fiji has already been taken!

dpworkin's avatar

Hey I have a poem for yez:

Astrochuck
Doesn’t suck.

janbb's avatar

Go back to your day job.

dpworkin's avatar

when I grow up I will have a job. meanwhile I am poet to the stars.

chyna's avatar

@ChazMaz I won’t be giving you any more GA’s then. If you left, who would I make fun of?

AstroChuck's avatar

@Dog- Aw, shucks. I <3 you too.

chyna's avatar

^^ Makes me smile to see that sweet face.

MissAusten's avatar

I hope the jellies who have left or taken time off lately will return. The way I see it, the best way to combat the inane questions or lack of fun is to take some initiative and come up with things that will bring the good times back. If there are 20 people who aren’t happy with the direction the questions and responses are going and they stop posting much because of it, we have a noticeable decrease in the interactions here. If, however, those 20 people make a conscious effort to contribute to the site in a way that they think Fluther deserves, the ratio of “good” to “crummy” stays high.

That’s my dose of optimism for the day. :)

edited to add: I’d like to take my own advice and come up with a great question, but I’ve always kind of sucked at asking questions. Also, this was not directed at anyone in particular in any way, shape, or form.

Jude's avatar

When I make it to 20K (which will definitely be a good while), I’m out, as well.

Fluther you’ve lost your fun.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@jjmah how come you want to get the 20K if it doesnt matter?

El_Cadejo's avatar

I find myself spending a lot less time on fluther as of late as well. Part is due to the changes, but most is due to the fact that the quality of both questions and answers has been pretty, well, shitty as of late.

jeanmay's avatar

I’ve only been using the ‘new’ Fluther for a few days, but so far it doesn’t seem to have changed greatly. I’m still having fun, answering questions that inspire a response in me. I will say the ‘General’ section seems to be working out well for those who desire specific responses. Does the home page look a little dull (to me)? Yep. Does it matter (to me)? Nope.

@MissAnthrope sums it up pretty well way up there somewhere.
Think you just proved yourself to be a ‘big name’ @MissAnthrope!

cookieman's avatar

I backed away starting in March. I couldn’t figure out why but something felt off. So I’ve mostly been lurking.

Then the other day, @essieness on facebook said about it, “I don’t like feeling like a stranger in my own house.” And I thought, “that’s exactly how I’ve been feeling on Fluther.”

So I’ve rarely posted in three months and no one seems to miss me anyway. I may be back – we’ll see.

For the record, I think this is just the natural order of things. I’m not mad about it. Just a little sad. And I do like the new changes.

chyna's avatar

@cprevite BULLSHIT. I have missed you. You are someone I look to your answers and one of my very favorite jellies. You are one of the reasons I kept coming back.

gailcalled's avatar

@cprevite: FWIW, I miss you and Milo misses you even more.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

Thanks everyone for your responses. It has always intrigued me why people are so resistant to change on Q&A sites, since it is the members that make the site and not the format. I fail to see any particular significance in our recent changes. I sincerely hope you all return, as well as the others that haven’t been mentioned (who actually sparked this question).

Jeruba's avatar

@cprevite, I’ve missed you too. There are quite a few whose absence I notice and feel. Some have told us they were going to be around less and they’d come back later—Harp and Darwin, for example—and others have gone relatively quiet, like you and hearkat and asmonet and lefteh. The atmosphere is different when those who’ve helped sustain it are not so much present and others more active have different agendas.

Dog's avatar

@cprevite Add me to the happy you posted list! :)

janbb's avatar

@cprevite I’ve got one word for you – cookies! I’ll bake you some if you stick around; you’re one of the nice ones.

MissAusten's avatar

@cprevite I second @janbb !! I’ve even throw in some of the rhubarb muffins I made last night.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@FireMadeFlesh “it is the members that make the site and not the format”. I don’t totally agree with this. Yes, the people here are make the site, but it’s the format that we have to put up with. We have to adhere to the changes. Being stranger in my own house is an excellent way of describing how I feel now. It’s the PEOPLE that make a site what it is. Thank God I have my peeps on FB. Because what I’m seeing here now doesn’t interest me much anymore.

gailcalled's avatar

How could I have forgotten my bbf, @knotmyday? Even his dog, Duke, was funny.

CMaz's avatar

Interesting lesson on human nature and social networking.

We get our thrill. Free to become as obsessive as possible. Then you over dose, burn out and move on to some other new thrill. :-)

gailcalled's avatar

@ChazMaz: I am talking about the phase after the honeymoon and before the current confusion. There was a long period when things went pretty smoothly.

I never found this site thrilling; fun and interesting and a good case study for how communities evolve, however.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@ChazMaz Yeah, ‘thrill’ wouldn’t be my definition on what I got out of it here, either. There’s a lot more things in my life that thrill me more than fluther. What I DO acknowledge, are the friends I’ve made here. You included, of course. I think fluther has had its 15 minutes of fame. The PEOPLE are the ones who will endure. If fluther shut down today, I’d be good with it, because as I said up above, I have my friends other places. I don’t need to come here to be in touch. The influx of people who have asked nut-ball questions has ruined it for me. Yeah, yeah, they can try to filter them out. But the damage has been done, IMO. Look at all the good old users who have either fled, or are in the wings not posting. It’s too late to repair some of this damage. You can’t unring a bell.

Aethelwine's avatar

@jjmah I’m with you. Though I may not wait for the 20k. :/

MissAnthrope's avatar

@jjmah – Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!! You can’t leave. I forbid it.

@jeanmay – Awshucks. Thanks. :)

BoBo1946's avatar

Well, Dibley is gone….not by choice! Also, she changed her name and she was given the boot again…from what i hear, too much drama! She was never argumentative..or mean-spirited! So, if you are a “drama queen/king,” maybe that could be a warning (certainly me included). Don’t agree with her dismissal, but, i don’t run this railroad, just play on it! Been a lot of sites, but never seen a person dismissed for too much drama. Oh well, the beat goes on! The old saying, “life is not always fair” might be applicable today!

jbfletcherfan's avatar

Ooohhhhh, this place just got A LOT more attractive to me!

BoBo1946's avatar

@jbfletcherfan she never said a bad thing to me! Nor, did i ever see or hear of her saying anything off color or mean-spirited to anyone else.

but, that is their call…there could be more to it than i know! not going to be a crusade for me…for sure…might get the boot myself.

Aethelwine's avatar

@BoBo1946 Nor, did i ever see or hear of her saying anything off color or mean-spirited to anyone else.

She did. You must have missed it.

jbfletcherfan's avatar

@BoBo1946 “she never said a bad thing to me! Nor, did i ever see or hear of her saying anything off color or mean-spirited to anyone else.”

No, I never did either. That wasn’t my issue with her.

BoBo1946's avatar

@jonsblond oh, ...did not answer a lot of her questions! thank you telling me that.

my viewpoint on all her sex question…just not answer them. But, anyway…

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

@jonsblond Me too. She was only ever nice from what I saw, despite some of her topics not being to my taste.

BoBo1946's avatar

@FireMadeFlesh thought @jonsblond said, she said some mean-spirited comments. That the first time i’ve ever heard that. But, as i said, did not answer many of her questions.

dpworkin's avatar

I have only ever seen her be bashed. I have never seen her doing the bashing. But, then, I tended to ignore her threads.

janbb's avatar

i suspect it might have had to do with a conflict with the mods about the taking down of her last question. She seemed pretty pissed about it. Again, just a suppostion. (But I do have a Master’s Degree in Library Science.)

Aethelwine's avatar

The first time I noticed Dibley was late December. She asked the collective “Did you Fluther on Christmas Day?”. In the details she put “If you did I think that is really sad.”. The question didn’t stay up very long because it was considered flame bait. This question didn’t give me a very good first impression of her at all.

There were many other times that she did things like this that was considered trollish. Who knows what happened behind the scenes too.

BoBo1946's avatar

@jonsblond got’cha…well, i’m not crusading on this issue as I said, did not answer many of her questions. Don’t know the whole story…only know, she was just nice to me…and, she was on AB when i was there. Oh course, AB is very liberal on their q and a!

Aethelwine's avatar

@BoBo1946 you are a good friend to her. I like nice people. :)

BoBo1946's avatar

@jonsblond thank you my friend…have a good one!

BoBo1946's avatar

Dibley said there were three members here that had her removed from this site. Find that disturbing…for this reason! This could happen to anyone! Not going to go on a crusade about this issue…just think it is not fair. But, as always, “life is not fair!”

CMaz's avatar

“three members here that had her removed from this site.”
Is that possible? I just don’t see that happening.

Dibley’s questions and answers have been interesting. Never THAT controversial. :-)

chyna's avatar

Yeah, I find it hard to believe that 3 people could gang up on a member they didn’t like and get them removed for no reason. Dibley had to have done something against the rules and on more than one occasion.

dpworkin's avatar

Maybe she meant it took three people to carry her out.

janbb's avatar

Who are you, @dpworkin , Groucho Marx?

BoBo1946's avatar

@ChazMaz, @chyna, and @dpworkin just what she said on another site. She named them, but would never give those names out.

@ChazMaz agreed…never found her controversial and mean-spirited toward anyone! Of course, i did not answer all her questions either.

chyna's avatar

Oh well, I’m not a mod so have no idea what happened.

BoBo1946's avatar

@chyna ditto…and neither do i…

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

that would never happen – that’s BS

tinyfaery's avatar

BS. There have been many users more abhorred than she, and we other users were never able to have them kicked-off.

Edit: Maybe abhorred is too strong of a word. Annoyed?

gailcalled's avatar

My take on Sophief aka Dibley was that she has some severe emotional problems, was obsessed with her boy friend to the point of suffocating him, and used cutting as a stress-reliever. She asked versions of the same question repeatedly and got mad when many experienced people gave her useful and practical advice.

She also admitted that she lied to her therapist. I flagged a few of the questions that rambled and were poorly written; I personally never suggested she be asked to leave; but I did have some serious concerns about her mental well-being and whether fluther simply distracted her from her reality and how to cope with it.

She seemed to want only approbation for her problems, which the collective was unable to provide. I don’t think anyone hated or abhorred her; at least, I didn’t.

chyna's avatar

@gailcalled And you always tried to help her, which I find most admirable.
I had no patience for what I assumed was her attention seeking questions.

Aethelwine's avatar

^^I agree.

gailcalled's avatar

And I won’t count the PMs that I sent. She seemed determined to self-distruct, which makes me very sad.

augustlan's avatar

[mod says] For the record, there is absolutely no truth in the idea that 3 people got Dibley/sophief removed from the site. In fact, not one member ever asked us to ban her. While I can’t go into the specifics, this was a mod decision, and it was made for the good of the community as a whole.

BoBo1946's avatar

for me, the matter is closed !

mattbrowne's avatar

AstroChuck left? Really? I thought he replied to one of my recent questions. I would really miss him !!

chyna's avatar

No, he’s still here, he just doesn’t come in as often. Which I hate and miss him along with a lot of others.

CMaz's avatar

I am leaving…

Wait, I am back.

chyna's avatar

@ChazMaz YOU are not leaving. I won’t let you. I will hunt you down and make you come back.

Val123's avatar

Well, I really miss @jbfletcherfan…..but other than that, my biggest questions is….did the girl ever find out why her boyfriend wanted her to go on birth control?? The question was removed, if you can be’lee that, so we’ll never know, now, will we!!

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