General Question

sprstar's avatar

When youre single, besides a bar or nightclub, where have you found are good places to go to meet people you could potentially date?

Asked by sprstar (114points) March 19th, 2008 from iPhone

I’m single and dont feel like I’ll have luck meeting a good guy at a nightclub/bar. These people I would guess are usually juggling girls or are only looking for sex.

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29 Answers

Mtl_zack's avatar

today one of my friends was having a big party with all her other friends who i didnt know yet, so i got to know them. to summarize, meet someone through a friend, that way you know they’re nice because your friend is friends with them.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

I like to go out with friends from high school and meet there coworkers at social gatherings. You can meet some pretty good people maybe not your soulmate but pretty good people, usually if your friends click with these coworkers you probably will click with them and you get to meet them at neutral territory.

sprstar's avatar

that sounds like great advice to start hanging out more with old friends and coworkers at social gatherings. Funny thing is, im not normally a shy person, but if I go to a social gathering, say, a coworker has, all of a sudden I’m a fricken wall fly :) not sure that would get me very far. Any tips for that situation?

cornman's avatar

If you want to find drunks go to the bar. If you want to find a nice guy go to a church. Play the odds!

modelchik4's avatar

Go to the gym! You will always find good quality people in there, or most of the time. Plus the people are in there are health savvy, so that is always a plus!

sprstar's avatar

church is a challenge for me because how do you meet someone there? I would think you would have to join a church group or something? What do you think?

sprstar's avatar

oooh! I like that answer modelchik4! Because, that would be cool to meet someone who enjoys being physically active :)

squirbel's avatar

I just continue going to the places I like. Since like attracts like, it’s hard to go wrong. For me, that means coffee shops (small out of the way ones, not $tarbuck$), bookstores, and meeting friends’ friends. I wasn’t particularly looking for a guy, but that is how I found Wil :P ( in the coffee shop )

modelchik4's avatar

thx sprstar!!!!

mcw's avatar

go to a singles Sunday school class at church. You don’t have to join per se, just make an appearance and see what you think of the group. Take along one of your friends if you think it would be hard to socialize at first, if you’re an introverted person

Perchik's avatar

I’m copying squirbel… I become a regular at places. I’m at this local coffee shop all the time. Eventually I started noting other people who are there a lot, one day I just approached a girl “hey I see you here a lot, I’m Patrick”. Bookstores are fun, because you can comment on stuff other people are looking at. However, I met my girl through a friend. We all went out to dinner, I made a point to sit next to her so I could get to know her. Wasn’t really looking for a relationship, but that’s when they come.

sprstar's avatar

it sounds like meeting people through other people may be the best approach. I’ll have to start planning to do more of that and be patient :) but I’ll also be crossing my fingers he he

squirbel's avatar

@perchik: “wasn’t really looking…but that’s when they come.”

Soo true! I didn’t know Wil from Adam (as in created), but he was on the couch near my table in the coffee shop. I overheard him mention Galveston, my hometown. Out of surprise, since it’s a small place, I had to ask if he was from there too. So I politely interjected and asked, and we had a nice little chat and then I went back to reading.

Next thing I knew I was seeing him everywhere… And he started offering me gifts and such (I thought he was a stalker at first but he was just a little awkward about some things)... And now we’re together! I think it’s cool how we met. :P

Poser's avatar

My girlfriend met a good guy at a bar.

DeezerQueue's avatar

The good places are everywhere, literally. The real question is, do you have what it takes to meet people. Do you possess the gift of gab? Conversations don’t occur spontaneously when people start babbling at each other, someone has to initiate them; make that someone yourself. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, chances are a lot of people are having the same thoughts that you are in a given situation, but they’re not saying anything either. Strike up the band by striking the first note yourself.

People want to spend time with people who make them feel good about themselves. This doesn’t mean that you should offer meaningless compliments to complete strangers, it means that, if you don’t already know this, that you should show some genuine interest in the person with whom you’re conversing. Shift your focus from finding that special someone to getting to know people in general, find out what makes them tick, make the human connection. You may not only find the love of your life, but you’re going to be a much richer person when you see the glint in someone’s eye because you cared enough to show some interest in them when the situation didn’t really call for it.

I admit freely that I’m a total blab, I can talk to anyone, anywhere and it was an ability that never stopped amazing my friends. I also admit freely that it wasn’t easy at first, you risk a lot, namely rejection and face, by being potentially shunned, but if you choose not to take the rejection personally and realize that the payoff of making the connection with people is a reward in and of itself, you’ll see the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages.

sprstar's avatar

Touche! You bring up a good angle on the topic. Definitely actionable advice. :)

Oz_1's avatar

The Art Gallery – I am serious….I went there the other day and was like “whoaaa”…intelligent and interesting guys! Give it a try (”,)

Also…through mutual friends…that way you know you have a common friend…and it removes any extra barrier that may exist when your trying to find out about someone.

cwilbur's avatar

Find something to do that doesn’t necessarily involve romance but where you’ll meet people who might be single. Church is a good place, if you get involved. Political activism. Model trains. Cooking classes, or even recreational night school of any sort.

The basic idea is to put yourself in places where you’ll run into people you don’t know, and you can talk about things you’re interested in (today’s sermon, how stupid the other political party is, good tips for hiding the wiring under the benchwork, how Calphalon compares to All-Clad for making a roux).

squirbel's avatar

Mmm, Calaphon~

occ's avatar

Find something that interests you – and take a class in it. Preferably a class where there is a reason to talk to other people. A foreign language class – you often team up with partners. An improv comedy class – lots of games, interactive, and great way to meet people. An art class. A partners dancing class (salsa or swing). Especially because if you learn to dance in partners, you can go out salsa dancing or swing dancing and lots of guys will ask you to dance – another fun way to meet lots of people in one night. Or: A cooking class. Basically any kind of class is a good way to meet people.

Also, if you are at all sporty, rather than trying to meet people in a gym (where everyone is working out on their own) sign up for a race or a bike ride or something where a group gets together to train (Team in Training is really popular in California). All my friends who have done that have met lots of other people – those teams really bond.

Another idea: convince one of your friends to throw a “date-my-friend soiree” where only single people come and everyone mingles. I hosted one of those a while back and ended up with a few couples who met that night and started dating.

And I feel compelled to say – online dating is not as scary as you think. Try it. You will meet lots of people. At the very least, you’ll get used to dating and you will realize that you really can spend an hour having a beer or coffee with just about anyone. It will make you more confident and less intimidated to strike up conversations with new people in the real world outside of internet dating. Even an “unsuccessful” internet date is really successful in that it trains you to think of dating as something normal that you do, so that you don’t get nervous or anxious about it. Think of internet dating as “practice” dating. And the bonus is, when it does work, it really works. I know more than one married couple who met on the internet.

hossman's avatar

I have not been single for quite some time, but I do occasionally make meals at one of those “assemble them yourself” franchises like Dream Dinners or Dinners by Design. Although many of the people there are married, I see lots of potential for it to be a good place for a single man to develop a relationship with one of the single or divorced women present. There are few men there for competition, you are working closely together, hey, if you’re there, you cook and have some potential as a mate. . .

zolmie's avatar

All of these suggestions sound good. Join a club (I like outdoor clubs like kayaking, hiking etc). Getting friends to introduce you to people or set you up- sometimes that works. Also, Ive met a few people at a local park. Having a dog always makes it easier to break the ice with people : )

Robby's avatar

@cornman…I would have been a little more specific about the bar seen. Not everyone who goes to the bar is a drunk. Some just go to unwind and socialize. Also, it depends on what type of bar you go to. If you go to some shit hole then you get what you deserve. Awesome about the church idea!

@sprstar…Online can be a good idea. You can get to know the person before actualy meeting he/she and going on a physical date. Plus it’s a little safer then meeting someone in person. (Not saying online dating does not have it’s risk)

occ's avatar

One other suggestion, bars can be a good place to meet people if you go to an event like a pub quiz night. Those tend to be social, fun events, and the kind of people who come are interested in trivia, not just getting trashed and getting action.

Poser's avatar

@cornman—I met my girlfriend in a bar. She’s the nicest, most honest and caring person I’ve ever met. I met my ex-wife at church. She’s pretty much the polar opposite. So much for the odds.

bobby's avatar

I believe before asking where to meet the one, it is nice to know who exactly you are looking for, just “a nice person” is not enough to find the one you can share your love, you should think more about who is the right person for you and what kind of activity he or she may like to do.
then you can predict where you can find him/her and your chance will increase dramatically.
for example my brother could find very good girlfriend at a astronomy club. where he went to give lecture. they have lot in common to enjoy and share.

BBQsomeCows's avatar

school (HS or college for whatever your age)
cooking classes

or classes on whatever interests you

kt180's avatar

In the surf… if you can surf.

Aster's avatar

@ the apartment complex and online?

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