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Jude's avatar

Do you truly believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Asked by Jude (32134points) August 5th, 2010

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20 Answers

lapilofu's avatar

It has not really been my experience, though the opposite has not been my experience either. I’m not sure there’s any much consistent between absence and level of fondness. (The internet, of course, complicates things. Two people can be absent from each other in some ways and present in others.)

Seaofclouds's avatar

I think it depends on the people and their relationship. Absence from my husband does make me long to be with him and anxious for his return. I feel like I love him more now than I did before simply because I can see how much a difference he makes in my life.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

No, I never believed that, whatsoever – it made my heart hurt.

Dewey420's avatar

lol depends. maybe jealousy makes the heart grow fonder.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No. In my experiences absence invites someone else to fill the space or else just a longing.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

Absence only makes the heart grow fonder….if you are not involved with someone who thinks that sleeping with the waitress at the Big Ho Cafe doesn’t count as cheating when you are away.

Basically, it works if both of you are really faithful and truly love each other and have a really transparent supportive relationship.

Jude's avatar

” In my experiences absence invites someone else to fill the space or else just a longing.”

I’ve been through that.

tinyfaery's avatar

Or out of sight out of mind? Which adage am I supposed to believe?

I think it greatly depends on the people and the dynamics of their relationship.

bburfield's avatar

I would say, in certain circumstances. Not all of them. If you are dedicated and loyal to each other, then I would say this can be possible. I do know that the absence of my husband just makes me more thankful to for him, and the important role he plays in my life. So, in a way, it does make me “fonder” of him.

perspicacious's avatar

It makes your heart hurt. That’s not my definition of fondness.

Austinlad's avatar

I really think @bburfield expresses it beautifully. The phrase “makes the heart grow fonder” means different things depending on the nature and depth of the relationship.

le_inferno's avatar

Absence can be healthy. Giving each person space to grow and live his/her life allows them to bring more to the table when they’re together. Couples that are constantly together can smother each other or take away focus from oneself. I think a relationship can benefit greatly from individual development. It’s also a challenge, puts a relationship to the test. My boyfriend and I will be apart for 4 and a half months. Yes, it’s very difficult, but I also think it’s good for us. We’re each doing our own thing, and my appreciation for him has definitely increased.

Makstatic's avatar

I did not believe that until recently, I guess it depends on who you are. I never feel heartache from being apart from someone, I think of the good times we share and that in turn makes me look forward to meeting them again. A with a girl I’ve known, well, yeah, being apart has actually drawn us together a little by little.

Frenchfry's avatar

Sometimes. You really start to realize.You don’t know what you got till it’s gone. Then when they return you are grateful they are in your life.

Trillian's avatar

It can be true in a relationship where the feelings are genuinely affectionate.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

My sister says that their 25-year marriage probably wouldn’t have lasted this long if her husband wasn’t on the road for a couple of days a week. Mom may have felt the same way, although she never said it. She ruled the house when Dad was gone, but as soon as he walked in the door, she was much more relaxed and, well, more herself.

The other sister once said, “I’d never want my husband to travel like that.” However, she was the one who got a divorce. So who knows. Each relationship is different.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

Yes, my lady and I had a new honeymoon every time I returned from an overseas deployment.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Oh sure.
I’ve always loved to see “Whatshisname” after a long separation. ;)

OpryLeigh's avatar

In my experience it most certainly does. I have been in a long distance relationship for a few years now and yes, they are extremely hard but on the plus side (again, in my own experience – this may not be the same for everyone obviously) we never take each other for granted and we make every second that we are together count. I miss my partner so much when we aren’t together and (apparently!) he misses me too. I have never had a “out of sight, out of mind” moment yet.

NaturallyMe's avatar

I also think it depends on the relationship. If my husband is away (even just for a few hours) i long for him to come back. I’ve also recently had a fall-out with an online friend whom i care for very much, but the longer i didn’t communicate with him, the less it bothered me that we’re not interacting anymore.

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