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truecomedian's avatar

Do you think that Fluther should be for adults only?

Asked by truecomedian (3937points) August 9th, 2010

I enjoy the broader array of Q & A that comes from having a younger age group. But some of the material is rated R. I hate asking this, but I can’t think of any other questions at the moment. I know that some of my responses have been innapropriate for a younger audience. Smile it makes people wonder.

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46 Answers

MissA's avatar

No…kids can learn a lot here.

gailcalled's avatar

Why do you feel the need to ask a question when you have nothing pressing that you are curious about? (inappropriate)

And what does “Smile it makes people wonder” mean?

wundayatta's avatar

There would be no users if the qualification for use is to be adult. Well maybe one or two. But that’s it. ;-)

Austinlad's avatar

Wait a minute, there are adults hereĀ ???

truecomedian's avatar

I’m curious because I’m concerned about young people. But I do like that their here and feel they have an equal amount to offer, I was just wondering what other people thought. And “smile it makes people wonder” is what my friend used to tell me because I never smiled. A little randomness, that’s what I like about this, you can be expressive.

MissA's avatar


(It’s they’re, not their.”)

gailcalled's avatar

@truecomedian: Ah. Keep on smiling. I find that a smile is infectious and makes others smile back. Why would smiling make people wonder?

truecomedian's avatar

If you smile all the time, people start too.

Fly's avatar

No. Speaking as a community teenager, the majority of the kids that end up staying here are mature enough to handle anything R-rated, and tend to stay away from most of the X-rated content. In fact, before I posted my age on my profile, most Flutherites had no clue that I was a teenager, and many still don’t if they don’t take the time to look. Those who aren’t mature enough to handle the content responsibly usually don’t last very long here. There is already an age requirement of thirteen, and I find that to be sufficient. It is not your job or Fluther’s job to protect the innocence of the younger members of the community. That would essentially be preventative censorship, which is against everything Fluther stands for.

truecomedian's avatar

“Can’t fight against the youth”

rpm_pseud0name's avatar

I was just about to ask a similar question. I suppose I could just stand on my soap box right here & give you my thoughts.

Ah-hem..Okay, can everyone hear me okay? Good.

I don’t think it would be a terrible idea if the minimum age limit to join Fluther was increased by a few years. 13 is the current minimum age to join & personally, that seems a bit low for a Q&A site where just about anything is open for discussion. If it was me who set the bar on age, I think I would set it at 15 or 16. Now obviously everyone who falls under that mark is going to hate me & of course they would, they are at the age where everyone is telling them what to do. I understand the benefits of having this community open to people as young as 13. During that time in their life, they will have more questions to ask per day than a lot of 10k users here have asked in their entire Fluther lifespan.

I know this age change will never happen, for if it ever did, all the under-agers would simply create new accounts & fudge the numbers on the birthdate. & who could blame them…it’s a form of rebellion & they love that kind of thing. :) So as I come to a close, I realize that Fluther will not & cannot change its current guidelines. So to hell with everything I just said. Now if you excuse me, I’m going to create an account for the PBS Kids site (min. age to join is also 13) & start a lively discussion about the political & social hurdles that are facing the transgender community today.

wundayatta's avatar

Good luck with that.

DominicX's avatar

I always used to worry that once I became an adult, I would care less and less about fair treatment of children, but alas, I’ve been adult for almost a year now, and I still don’t think this site should be adults-only. I think the 13 and over rule is good enough. I love hearing the input from people of all different kids of ages. I joined this site when I was a kid, joined Q&A sites in general when I was 14, and my life has only been better because of the experience.

zenele's avatar

I have to agree with @Fly – though I used to think like the OP. Initially, I’d think that though questions were labeled NSFW – this would actually draw in the teens. Plus the threads could get into all kinds of talk.

Truth is; we’re boring to them. The silly, immature teens, that is. They can surf the net for all kinds of porn and sex and chat – right from their facebook pages. The ones who are interested in trash talk, porn chat and stuff that’s really NSFW – hook up with their ilk on Myspace and facebook – and link each other all day long.

We at fluther tend to go on and on about tedious things like relationships, the economy and psychology. Though our conversation here can be interesting, snappy and illuminous to us; it’s probably, like groansville to the average 14 year old. @Fly obviously isn’t. And the other teens here probably fit that criteria as well; they are curious, intelligent and mature.

Now young children are another story. I think the age limit should be 5, and Astrochuck who is 6 shouldn’t be allowed in.

Piper's avatar

No! :( I’m 13 and I like this site a lot. It’s really helpful and fun.

Jeruba's avatar

I don’t think we’re having any problem with the way it is now, so I see no need to change. People always benefit (it seems to me) from interacting with a wide spectrum of individuals, and the age spectrum is an important dimension because it’s one that we all cross.

FutureMemory's avatar

Even if it was made adults only, what makes anyone think a teenager wouldn’t just hit the “Yes I am 18” button regardless of their true age?

YARNLADY's avatar

How on earth would anyone know? The age button on this site is strictly honor system, and there’s no way to control it.

rooeytoo's avatar

It is parents’ job to decide what sites are appropriate for their children.

MissA's avatar

@rooeytoo You are absolutely right.

rpm_pseud0name's avatar

@Piper, I have an honest question that I would really like an honest answer to. Do your parents know that you are member of this site? If so, do they accompany you while you use not only this site, but while you use the computer to surf the internet?

Given the decade+ age difference between us, there is quite the gap in how I was raised with the internet in the home & how your generation is being raised with the internet within the home & on mobile phones & iPods & anywhere else they can stick a wifi chip & tiny screen. I just want to get an idea of how things are done now-a-days. I don’t have many cousins that are a lot younger than me, so I don’t really have a grasp on the current situation.

I feel so old when I go online Reading books make me feel young. Of course I only read authors who have been dead for at least 10 years. :)

Piper's avatar


Yeah, they know that I’m on this site and they saw my profile and everything. They don’t really see everything I do since I have my own computer that I use in my room, but they actually gave me the idea for my last question about entering high school. :) I just got this computer for Christmas last year, before that I had to use the one in the family room where they could see everything and all that.

I guess some people don’t have their own computer, I know a girl like that who only uses a computer in the kitchen, but I also know some other people who have their own computers. I don’t do anything bad on it, though. :) They just don’t want me to go on the internet until I’m done with schoolwork and I’m good about doing that.

augustlan's avatar

I agree with @rooeytoo. It is a parent’s job to decide what is or isn’t appropriate for their children. As most of you probably know, @Fly up there ^^ is my daughter, and her younger sister is also a member (@mangeons). I decided when each was mature enough to be here, and gave them the ground rules. My youngest will be turning 13 in December, and it remains to be seen if she’ll get a Fluther account then or at some later date.

None of them have a private computer, though.

truecomedian's avatar

You said a lot, I will extend a helping hand if I am able, if you get ganged up on by the youth, ha. I asked this question because I feel I have said things not good for 13 year olds. Because I’m a little scummy. I am a good enough person though. Thanks for all the great feedback.

Haleth's avatar

Fluther is a lot better than most of the stuff online. Mature content is everywhere, but at least here, it’s also discussed in a mature and sensitive way.

rpm_pseud0name's avatar

@Haleth Oooh, nice answer.

LuckyGuy's avatar

No. But sometimes I wish that posters would remember there are young’uns around. NSFW questions are often pretty darned dumb.

I’d like to see an indication that the poster is younger than a certain age – like having their name show up in green when you are posting an answer. In some cases our answers might be a little more age appropriate.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I agree with @Haleth . Young people can access material anywhere. At least here, it is usually approached in a sensitive and mature way. I frequently address NSFW topics, but with the understanding that there are younger readers, I try to keep my postings tasteful.

truecomedian's avatar

NSFW, that doesn’t just mean work, it’s like a way of flagging the answer for the youth, right? Because you shouldn’t be Fluthering at work anyways, right? I’m new here, and have a hard time reading between the lines, I’m stupid really, sorry.

ucme's avatar

That not fair, me wanna play too.

wundayatta's avatar

I had a conversation with my daughter (age 14) about what she sees on the internet. I told her that I knew there was no way I could oversee her surfing experience. So I have to trust her good sense that she will not get into trouble or do anything stupid.

We have instilled in her the importance of not giving out personal information, and of keeping her privacy settings on Facebook pretty strict (although I’m not sure that makes much difference any more). She is, as far as I can tell, mostly on Facebook, hanging out with her many friends, or doing school work, or sometimes looking at things of interest to her.

She doesn’t seem to think she’s ready for a boyfriend, and was pretty amused when one boy at camp indicated an interest in her (he was, shall we say, socially retarded). The school has probably taught her more about intimate relations than she will need to know for years.

I guess my point, if I have one, is, as always, censorship never works. The only antidote to lies and misinformation is education. If we educate young people well enough, they’ll handle themselves just fine on the internet. If we rely on net nannies and the like, we are asking for trouble.

CMaz's avatar

If you are going to get high. Might as well be with family.

truecomedian's avatar

There is no censorship, only secrets that people keep. Meaning, if knowledge truly is power, then it’s just those in power keeping their power. No biggie. I mean does anyone actually decide what we can see and hear, well, yes, and it’s because it’s like uranium. There is information that is too potent for the common man to have. But really it’s who you know and what you grow.
I think that was the dumbest thing I have said so far

daytonamisticrip's avatar

that’s why the youngest that’s aloud here is 13.

augustlan's avatar

Psst. Allowed.

CMaz's avatar

Can we still say fuck… Or ass?

downtide's avatar

I think @zenele is absolutely right – the teens that do come here and stick around are clearly mature enough to participate in the community and know whether or not to click on a question that has NSFW in it. The sort of kids who are… well… less mature…. are all over on Yahoo Answers asking rude and offensive questions.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, you CAN’T stop kids from coming here, number one. But as an adult, I keep in mind that kids may be one here reading what I’ve written, so I keep it “clean.” So to speak.

Whitsoxdude's avatar

I really think that would be a dumb idea. The main reason being that kids are exposed to much worse things on other sites that have no age limit..

Mom2BDec2010's avatar

Even if kids couldnt get on this site, they’d just lie about there age to get on.

wundayatta's avatar

@Dutchess_III You know, it’s so ironic that you keep it clean for the kids. It turns out that they do the same thing for us. My daughter allows as how she and her friends swear like sailors (she was 13 at the time, but implied this had been going on for a long time), but when she is with us, she acts clean.

In a way, that’s kind of sweet. We both keep it clean for each other, while being as nasty as we want with our own. Me, I’ll use a judicious “fuck” when I need the emphasis.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@wundayatta Even as teens my kids would jump for the volume knob to turn down lyrics that they knew I’d be offended by. :) I think they got a kick out of saying, “You can’t hear this, Mom.” But boy, I shocked them one time! That short-lived song, “I got high, I got high, I got high!” came on, they jumped to turn it completely off, I jumped to turn it up, and about drove off the road laughing! They were completely flabbergasted! :)

shadowofdeath's avatar

@Dutchess_III well personally being a child not so long ago, i did that out of respect. sure with friends every few words out of my mouth would be fuck. but as soon as i got home i would never dream of saying it. Often i think parents are too strict, my rule is, you say “fuck” your grounded. you cuss at anyone (like if arguing or out of anger, you get the point) your grounded. it works quite well imo

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