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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

How complicated is "Its complicated"?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26798points) September 26th, 2010

When someone says ”Its complicated” just how complicated is it? Especially in a relationship. If they are together they are, if they are not, then they are not, if they are stepping out on their mate, they are. Where is the complication?

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24 Answers

OreetCocker's avatar

I think it’s just a ploy to make them sound more interesting than they actually are!

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

What is the scale of complexity in relationships? Every relationship is different, and not all of them fit in to the categories you have mentioned. You are in no place to pass such judgements till you’ve been in that situation. Lets just hope you never are.

YARNLADY's avatar

It’s a code word for it’s none of your business.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@FireMadeFlesh You are in no place to pass such judgements till you’ve been in that situation. How is wanting to know what this ”complication” is, judging? If I was with a woman and we were on the rocks, for instance only, and she cheated on me, and I stop talking to her and she goes back to who she cheated with. If I was asked I would be more accurate in just saying she left or that I unofficially broke up with her, how hard is that? To say “Its complicated” etc don’t say nothing. Either we would be together are we are not, that is just fact, who said anything about rights and wrongs?

@YARNLADY It’s a code word for it’s none of your business. If it is inward from a question asked then the person asked could simply say that, huh? Or state “no comment”, “I am not talking about that”, “don’t care to get into that”, etc. Says more than “its complicated”

YARNLADY's avatar

It adds an air of mystery to none of your business

ratboy's avatar

If she gets out of the hospital before her ex gets out of prison, we’ll be able to destroy the DNA evidence that was left in the mayonnaise. Everything will turn out fine in that case—we’ll have time to get to Mexico. Otherwise, it’s going to get messy.

lillycoyote's avatar

I always say “it’s complicated” and my friends all know at this point that that’s code for “I don’t want to talk about it” but that’s just me.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Wanting to know what the complication is isn’t judging, but summarising potential relationship situations into supposedly simple statements is judging their sense of what is complicated. I cannot use scenarios to illustrate this, because different people react in different ways. Basically a relationship is as complicated as the partners think it is, no matter what the problem (perceived or real) is. I think cheating is a clear cut situation, but I have counselled a friend who certainly did not feel it was clear cut. His relationship was decidedly complicated for several months.

augustlan's avatar

It can also just be shorthand for “It’s a very long story.”

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

I think they say “it’s complicated” cause they don’t wanna talk about it or just to make the others asking more curious, or just saying it, since there are so many people who say that in their relationships.

downtide's avatar

It means you don’t want to talk about it, or that now is not the right time/there isn’t enough time to discuss it. Some relationships really are that complicated (polyamorous ones, for instance).

Trillian's avatar

Well, obviously the exact same answer and reasoning applies to every single time across the board that someone says “It’s complicated.” I’d explain it all to you if I were confident that you could understand it, but…it’s complicated.

stardust's avatar

I’m with both of @YARNLADY‘s replies on this one.
and @OreetCocker‘s

truecomedian's avatar

It’s really hard to make those tough decisions in life, you know the ones, the ones where you just cant decide one way or another. Wait, what was the question again…oh yeah, well, it could go either way. It could be a opening for you to help them uncomplicate this situation, which would be a good thing. Or it could mean what a lot of people have said, which boils down to “I really dont want to tell you” Either way, life is simple it’s are minds that complicate.

tragiclikebowie's avatar

Sometimes it really is complicated. Usually when I say “It’s complicated” it means it is a long, kind of crazy story and maybe I don’t want to say to this person or persons, or in front of other people.

BarnacleBill's avatar

On a scale that runs from In a happy marriage/relationship to happily single/available, It’s Complicated covers unhappily married/committed to unhappily single/single not of my own choosing,

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t get the confusion – it means that the person is not in a relationship with that person that would typically get that label, therefore, instead, it’s complicated.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

It’s Complicated
Someone’s unhappily married.
Someone’s separated but still legally unhappily married.
Someone’s in an abusive relationship and not yet out.
Someone’s in a long distance relationship and not sure if they are or are not “together”.
Someone’s in a relationship wanting marriage but their partner doesn’t and so they’re waiting it out, seeing if any better happens to justify moving on… or staying.
Swingers.
Open relationship lovers.
In the closet homosexuals.
Confused f**k buddies.

downtide's avatar

@Neizvestnaya there’s quite a few on that list that I hadn’t thought of.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@downtide: I along with more than just a few friends have been in It’s Complicated relationships. Erghs.

downtide's avatar

@Neizvestnaya I’m in one now…

Bluefreedom's avatar

@downtide. You’re not alone. I am too.

alovehangoverr's avatar

I agree with it being code for “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Or it’s an annoying Facebook relationship status that is used primarily to gain attention/sympathy. Damn you Facebook. Relationship killer!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@alovehangoverr: Gee, I’ve always thought, It’s Complicated means, “ask me about this privately or when there’s more time”.

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