Social Question

Blackberry's avatar

A Family Law Judge caught on tape beating his daughter.....What should happen to him?

Asked by Blackberry (29397 points ) November 2nd, 2011

I couldn’t even watch the whole thing, but here’s an article and the video.

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162 Answers

marinelife's avatar

He should be removed from the bench. He should be prosecuted for assault.

tom_g's avatar

Wow. This is difficult to watch. Yep, he needs to be prosecuted. I’m not up on child abuse laws, so I am not sure how this will play out. My gut reaction is to want to do some f&*ed-up shit to this guy. I hope he is permanently removed from this poor girl’s life, and I hope she is able to recover. Just wow.

Cruiser's avatar

HS…that made me cry! WTF is wrong with people? If I ran into that SOB I would beat his ass.

zensky's avatar

Humans are humans. The X-Ray technician who smokes, the SVU cop who molests… what can you do – there will always be assholes.

Blackberry's avatar

People have been calling him repeatedly, and course they couldn’t get in contact. That guy knows he’s screwed!

JLeslie's avatar

Some states the laws for corporal punishment are rather vague. Here’s a link. I think that we have separate laws for domestic issues than non-domestic is odd to begin with. If I hit a woman at a supermarket certainly it is assault. If I hit my kid it isn’t?

Meanwhile, I have a lot of people around me who are all for corporal punishment of children including belts and paddles.

Horrific.

At least the girl in this video seemed to be allowed to keep her pants on to provide some buffer, but the amount of time it went on was unbelievable.

I would love for him to be prosecuted and convicted, but I don’t feel sure that will happen. He sounded like a southerner, and in the south I think it likely there are people at all levels who think corporal punishment is just fine. They might agree this went too far, but I don’t know if they would jail the man for it.

Cruiser's avatar

At least now something may be done about it…

N E W S R E L E A S E
County of Aransas, 301 N. Live Oak, Rockport, Texas 78382
Aransas County Judge C. H. “Burt” Mills, Jr., 361–790-0100
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 2, 2011

ARANSAS COUNTY, TEXAS – Judge Burt Mills has today announced that Aransas County is aware of the video posted on YouTube regarding County Court-at-Law Judge William Adams, and the matter is now under review by the Police Department. Please refrain from communication with County offices or the Sheriff’s Department on this matter until the review has been completed. Calls, emails, and faxes only create disruptions for other ongoing county business. The public’s cooperation would be most appreciated.

JLeslie's avatar

Oh, it’s TX. Well, according to my link the law in TX is:

Abuse does not include reasonable discipline by a parent/guardian/managing or possessory conservator if child not exposed to substantial risk of harm. Family Code Sec. 261.001.[Ci.] Parent/stepparent/person standing in loco parentis to child is justified to use non-deadly force against a child under 18 when and to degree the actor reasonably believes necessary to discipline, or safeguard or promote child’s welfare. Penal Sec. 9.61.[Cr.]

So, I think maybe he can get away with it.

ucme's avatar

Okay, despite myself, I watched his opening blows & the rage welled up in me as much as I expected. The fucker is showing clearly defined patterns of someone who’s actually getting off on what he’s doing. He looks like he was about to stop the senseless beating, but feels compelled to go back for more, a disturbing psychotic signal in my eyes.
Personally, i’d beat the shit out of the cowardly bastard, but that’s just me.

JLeslie's avatar

I find it a little funny that people hate him for beating his daughter, and their response is to want to beat him.

tom_g's avatar

@JLeslie: “I find it a little funny that people hate him for beating his daughter, and their response is to want to beat him.”

Human nature. I can’t even describe the things that pop into my mind to do to this guy. Fortunately, we live in a country of laws, which keeps me from doing these things. There should be laws that keep him from doing what he is doing to that poor girl.

tranquilsea's avatar

I don’t know how anyone could look at what was done and be ok with it. I watched the whole thing and this guy is an abuser who lost control. I hope you’re not right @JLeslie. I hope he is prosecuted and I hope that he loses his job.

This kind of abuse messes with you for the rest of your life.

I feel seriously queasy. The same sort of things were done to me when I was young but with sticks. The same sort of thing were said to me in the midst of having the crap beat out of me. I swear they don’t want you looking at them as they do it and that’s why they want you bent over.

Fuck.

JLeslie's avatar

@tom_g Don’t get me wrong, I am all over the map about meeting violence with violence. Sometimes the mafia way is all these people understand, but sometimes more violence leads to more violence. Someone I knew in the past, his mom had been hit a few times by her husband. One time a brother of hers found out (a brother of the mom who had been hit) and her brothers went over to their house and beat the shit out of her husband, and warned him never to lay a hand on her again. He never did.

jaytkay's avatar

It was in 2004, so the statute of limitations may have passed, meaning criminal prosecution is not possible.

If he’s an elected judge, at the very least he won’t be elected again. I image he’ll be impeached soon or whatever the process is down there.

Cruiser's avatar

@JLeslie I am all for discipline with children, but that man beat down a defenseless kid. It was a malicious, viscous and merciless beating of a kid. I’d like to see how tough he would be with me standing in the room. Plus I think you would change your tune if you saw the condition of that girls legs and rear end after that whipping. Poor thing.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

While I don’t necessarily believe that beating his ass down will solve anything, he definitely deserves the next 10,000 or so pizza deliveries coming to his house.

tranquilsea's avatar

Ok, I know this is fantasy land but wouldn’t it be great if we could use technology here and make the fucker wear an iPad around his neck and have that video loop and make him wear it when ever he goes out?

Or, just send him my way. I’m bigger and no longer cowed.

Qingu's avatar

You have to love the All-Seeing Eye of the Internet sometimes.

I doubt he’ll suffer any legal repurcussions, but now that this is out there I’m happy that his personal reputation—and hopefully his professional reputation too—will be permanently ruined, and he will no longer be able to show his face in public without being shamed.

Although, depending on where he lives in Texas, there might be some people who are perfectly okay with what he did. Which is horrifying.

ucme's avatar

@JLeslie I find nothing funny about the whole sorry spectacle, but that’s not a fair fight.
Any guy who beats on kids/women deserves to be locked in a room with no windows, for “special treatment”. My honest knee jerk reaction to an appalling act of violence.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Sick! Who recorded this? Why? How?

Michael_Huntington's avatar

I think the daughter did, she just hid the camera.

JLeslie's avatar

@Cruiser I agree.

@ucme Not funny haha, funny ironic. You know he was probably beaten also as a kid. Another sad irony. I would have no problem with tying the guy up and letting you whip him with a belt for 10 minutes. Trust me.

thorninmud's avatar

I’m savoring the irony that she’s being punished for using the internet, and the internet may yet come to her rescue. Here’s hoping. What hell for all of them!

john65pennington's avatar

Watching this video, this so-called Judge, could have made other choices, rather than assaulting his daughter with a large belt.

He could have given her a few days without any entertainment. Disconnecting her computer. Cellphone taken away.

The icing on the cake, in this situation, is that he is a judge and his daughter has cerebal palsey.

If he did not want his daughter to play games or whatever on the internet, he should have disconnected her access to these games.

Then, we would not be answering this question.

I applaud his daughter for defending herself, by taping this situation as evidence.

Video tapes do not lie and belt marks are there for a lifetime.

Being a judge, he should have known better.

JLeslie's avatar

@john65pennington Is that true that belt marks are there for a lifetime? I would not have thought that about all belt marks. I have friends who were hit with a belt and I don’t think they have permanent physical scars? But, I have not seen them completely naked, but pretty close.

john65pennington's avatar

JLeslie, If you have ever observed photos of years of abuse on a child, the belt marks are there. Also, I had a case where this mother beat her child with a wooden spoon for many years for slipping out of the house at night. The daughter finally called the police. In examining her back and legs, I could identify the spoon marks left on the daughter’s body, from years of beatings. I located the wooden spoon and it matched the abuse marks perfectly. I arrested her mother. The daughter was 15 years old.

Luiveton's avatar

Kill him. I’d make such a good judge huh.

JLeslie's avatar

@john65pennington I have never observed those sorts of photos, that is why I asked. The people I grew up with were not hit on any sort of regular basis that I know of. I only became aware of some of my friends being regularly hit when I moved as an adult to Memphis and the topic came up.

InTheZone's avatar

I was treated in a similar fashion, except naked, bending over a chair and touching my fingers and toes to the ground, beaten by a razor strap, which of course cut because it was made rough to sharpen razors. My lashes were doubled every time I lifted my fingers or toes from the ground.

When my sperm donor started, he always said, “This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.”

You’re right… people never get over things like this. I broke down watching this, and it has taken me about an hour to regain my composure. I certainly hope that today there are more ways to combat things like this, and that men like him can be given appropriate consequences for their atrocities. My sperm donor never had consequences, and he still lives denying that he ever did anything to hurt me. Calls me a liar, and other family members believe him. Only my mother knows.

GladysMensch's avatar

I’m glad this came out if for no other reason than to get people seriously thinking and talking about domestic violence. This is happening everywhere, across every religious, economic, and educational boundary. It’s not just happening in Texas. It’s not just happening in poor neighborhoods. It’s not just happening with the “less well-off”. Abuse like this, and often worse, is happening daily, somewhere in your neighborhood, among your friends or acquaintances.

Luiveton's avatar

Holy fuck I couldn’t watch except one minute of that video. Owch owch OWCH.

JLeslie's avatar

@GladysMensch Every religious, economic, educational…but it is more likely in some groups than others.

children in low socioeconomic families have more than three times the rate of child abuse and seven times the rate of neglect than other children living with their married biological parents places kids at the lowest risk for child abuse and neglect, while living with a single parent and a live-in partner increased the risk of abuse and neglect to more than eight times that of other children.

Source: http://pediatrics.about.com/od/childabuse/a/05_abuse_stats.htm

I am not saying that is a 100% reliable source, but I would guess if we researched there are some statistics to be had on who is more likely to hit there kids. Just corporal punishment laws in schools indicate that part of the US thinks it is ok, and part doesn’t.

The guy in this piece is. Judge, so obviously well educated.

jaytkay's avatar

I see the statute of limitations is probably 10 years or 5

Ten Years
Injury to a child, elderly individual, or disabled individual punishable as a felony of the first degree under Section 22.04

Five Years
Injury to a child, elderly individual, or disabled individual that is not punishable as a felony of the first degree under Section 22.0

link

flutherother's avatar

It made very uncomfortable viewing. I think the father has sadistic tendencies. The physical damage may not be great but the psychological damage certainly is and any chance of a healthy father daughter relationship is ruined by this behaviour.

wundayatta's avatar

That guy has lost control. The beating was not even remotely about discipline or teaching. It was purely about him getting his rocks off on his power over the girl, who he probably hated. Perhaps because she was smarter than he was because she could use the internet.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Both parents should be prosecuted. Period.

Hibernate's avatar

I am all for punishments and all but keep it in normal limits. Forget about loosing parental rights and such things. He should represent the law but at some point or another remember he’s a human and we ALL make mistakes. He has no self control yet he deserves a chance.

Stop hating me. Thank you.

SpatzieLover's avatar

I completely disagree @Hibernate. This was definitely not a mistake. He and his wife cleared their other daughter of the room, then both used an object to whip their daughter. Both deserve everything they have coming to them. They clearly have done this before and have no qualms with it as a first punishment.

Actually, I’m more appalled by the mom’s behavior…Repulsive!

tranquilsea's avatar

I am too @SpatzieLover. I think what she was trying to do by giving her a whack was to get the belt away from her husband. BUT she should have protected her daughter and not participated.

The whole thing is sick and disturbing.

tranquilsea's avatar

@Hibernate you could tell that this wasn’t the first time he has done this. Fuck him, I say. Throw the book at him.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@tranquilsea That’s the type of thing my husband’s mom did. She recently admitted she understands she’d be jailed if she did the same thing to a child today.

As far as I’m concerned the mom could have prevented the entire thing, but failed to even attempt it.

This is one major example (well illustrated in that video )of a toxic household.

JLeslie's avatar

@Hibernate That to me is not a mistake. But, it would be nice if he ever came to the realization it is wrong. I doubt that will ever happen. That was not a loss of control, that was parents thinking the right thing to do is use corporal punishment to controltheir daughter. I rarely hear of people who believe in that type of punishment change their mind, they are more likely to say their child, no one else’s business. The parents were both calm in my opinion, the mantra of many people who believe in corporal punishment…I didn’t do it in anger.

I am not grouping together all people in favor of corporal punishment by the way, I know there are varying degrees of what people find acceptible.

Hibernate's avatar

@SpatzieLover that’s why I am entitled to MY OWN opinion, because it’s my own. ou can disagree and not accept my opinion but at least respect it. I didn’t say it’s the best thing to do but they deserve a second/third/X chance.
The easiest thing to do is commenting from outside the situation. When it doesn’t involve us we are the best to judge. We rarely see who’s right and who’s wrong.

Heads up and let those in the position to take action.

Blackberry's avatar

@Hibernate No one said you weren’t entitled to your own opinion. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn’t mean your freedom of speech is being taken away. And the topic of respecting all opinions is a separate topic to be discussed, but we can certainly discuss it.

JLeslie's avatar

@Hibernate For me, maybe it is a non PC statement, I find it harder to accept or give second chances on things like this to a man with such a high level of education. I see poor uneducated people do things like this, and I think they just don’t know better, were never shown or made aware of other ways to raise and discipline children. But, a lawyer, a judge? It is so incredibly dissappointing to me. Really, do you think he is going to listen to people telling him what to do? That he will change? How can he not know already what he does is unnacceptable, he must think it is just fine.

Hibernate's avatar

Education? That man seems to have none. Education isn’t a lot of schooling. One can be educated and have no hours spent in schools. He lacks common sense but this doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve another chance.

Supacase's avatar

@JLeslie Around 3:30 on the video, she is beside her bed and it looks like he did have her pull her pants down. I wonder what he was doing while he was bend over her for so long – you can tell he wasn’t hitting her, but I doubt he was just talking. Then again, I did watch without audio since my daughter is in the next room.

If not removed from the bench, he should most definitely be moved from family court. There is no possible way he could have children’s best interests at heart.

Whatever legal action can be taken, should be taken. He should not be given any slack. In fact, if only the law would allow it, he should be held to a higher standard because of his chosen profession.

bkcunningham's avatar

She now says she regrets posting the video. She posted it asking that people help her father, not condemn him.

“From her Twitter account, she tweeted: ‘Please spread the word that my father needs professional help and not hatred. We can offer him the tools to be a better person.
‘It is my wish that people stop threatening my father and start offering professional help. That is what he really needs.’

“Miss Adams has now tweeted that she was sorry she posted the video.

“She wrote this afternoon: ‘I’m feeling some regret for publishing the video because to ruin my own father is heavy indeed. But I really want him to seek help.’”

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2056582/Judge-William-Adams-beats-disabled-daughter-Hillary-16-YouTube-video.html#ixzz1caxPy9H3

Blackberry's avatar

@bkcunningham “That’s really sweet, but your father’s goin’ down, young lady!” Lol. That guy is way past help.

JLeslie's avatar

If he admits he needs help, I am all for helping the father and repairing the relationship between the father and daughter. I do hope the family can find some peace. I don’t want the father completely ruined and punished if he sees the errors in his ways.

@Supacase I skipped around on the video, so I had not seen that. I am going to hope he did not sexually abuse her.

Cruiser's avatar

@JLeslie I would ask that you reserve pity or calls to repair this relationship for this monster. Since he was exposed, of course he is remorseful but there is always more to the real story. Apparently he never let up and it has gotten worse…

“She said: ‘My father’s harassment was getting really bad, so I decided to finally publish the video that I had been sitting on for seven years.”

Read more

JLeslie's avatar

@Cruiser Well, I will just use it as a general comment then, probably not fitting for this particular monster as you say. If parents are abusive, generally if they are able to see the light, see a different way, and if the child wants a continued relationship, I generally would support trying to repair things to some extent. The thing is, as I mentioned above, I have very little hope this particular guy will actually see the error in his ways.

I wonder how he ruled on cases brought before him involving corporal punishment?

filmfann's avatar

This fucker needs some time behind bars. I am just devestated by this poor girl having to deal with this.
And the fact that he is a judge just kills me.

GladysMensch's avatar

@Hibernate
He lacks common sense but this doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve another chance

Are you saying that this man deserves another opportunity to beat his children? Because that is what happens when he gets another chance and fails… a child is beaten. This isn’t like a speeding ticket, or a burnt pot-roast… this is beating a child. Perhaps I should repeat that. This man beats women and children. And you want to give him more chances to do so?

tranquilsea's avatar

This is the thing that is so fucked up: I covered up for my mother for years and years. I still love/loved her and didn’t want her to be hurt. But she betrayed the mother/daughter trust by the things she did to me and my siblings. I know she was sorry for it after but that doesn’t forgive what she allowed herself to do while in the midst of a rage.

In this circumstance the daughter is feeling bad because of that father/daughter bond. Too bad he didn’t ponder his actions in light of that same bond and the responsibility he had/has.

I’m the mother of two teenagers and one soon-to-be teenager. I have them scream in my face at one time or another due to some feeling they were having and I felt like smacking them BUT I DIDN’T. It is possible to have self control even when you were shown a gross lack of self control growing up.

That video put me in a bad, bad place today. It is something you can’t really understand unless you’ve been there.

Blackberry's avatar

@tranquilsea Indeed. I posted this other places as well. I experienced the same and wanted people to see how ugly it is. The young woman’s screams stick in my head. It reminds me of the ones I heard from my female relatives getting the same punishment as me as they took turns.

JLeslie's avatar

@tranquilsea Do you think that father just felt like smacking his kid? In the same way as when your child was in your face? I don’t have kids, I am seriously curious if the frustration would be the same. The way I picture it I have my kid in my face, being disrespectful, rude, and too close, and lets assume me telling him to stop is not working, he continues, I want the kid to cease and desist immediately. One smack, and hopefully it stops him in his tracks. Not that I am ok with smacking, I am just saying. If he stops, it’s over right, no need to continue physically accosting the kid. This girl had been on the computer, I would bet money the dad just being angry about her being dissobedient, and him taking the computer away, would have been enough. His abuse in my opinion was his idea of teaching her what’s right, not about simpy stopping her from her action. I am talking about what I believe to be in his head, his thought process. This is why it is so hard to change the mind of these people who believe in corporal punishment I think, because they really believe it is the best way to make sure their children are good. Or, that is how it seems to me. Taking a parent to their breaking point is different than a parent who truly believes hitting is good for the child.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Ehhhhh… I know I’m in the minority here on Fluther, in that I don’t have an issue with parents who spank their kids. This isn’t a spanking, he is beating the shit out of her. I couldn’t watch that. I don’t know what should happen. I don’t know. I’m disturbed by the whole thing.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf Yeah that was abuse. My first impulse was to have someone hold him down and I’d pour a bottle of Drano down his throat. That might be a painful enough of a way to go for him. But I think the way the rest of the public is going to go after him might be more fitting.

JLeslie's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf The thing is that father thinks what he did was spanking I would bet. I just saw him for two minutes this morning on a morning show, and he basically said he didn’t harm her. I wish I had taped it. I didn’t hear the whole piece. I think maybe the girl and her mother were interviewed, I’m not sure. I saw them on the TV for a second, and didn’t hear any of the interview. He feels empowered to hit her period. Empowered by the state, and empowered by his belief system I would think.

Just to reiterate, I said it above, I am not grouping all people in favor of corporal punishment together.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@JLeslie I had one parent who wailed on me like the video, and one who stopped at one smack. There is a difference, in my personal experience. It has nothing to do with proving that you’re right or teaching your child, it’s a power play. The person that keeps hitting is asserting their power, not trying to help their child.

JLeslie's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf I think it is a power play, but also believe they think they are helping their child. I don’t think they are mutually exclusive.

Everyone I know who was hit, and hits their children, tell me that kids, at least some kids, don’t learn unless you hit them. The kids don’t obey without it. Don’t do the right thing. The adults all swear they are better people for having been hit.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Maybe in certain situations. I don’t know how some people justify it in their own minds. Having been on the receiving end of serious beatings, I feel like you can see something switch over. I find it hard to believe that people in that situation are thinking at all, but again, that’s only based on my experience. It strikes me more as a compulsion or an addiction than a thought out plan. Maybe that is how some people justify it after the fact.

JLeslie's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf I think you are probably right. I talk about that “switch” with addicts and people with anger problems. In the moment it is like they lose their mind and are on autopilot.

JLeslie's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf Do you think part of the reason you still think spanking is ok is because for you, relatively speaking, when you spank your child it is nothing compared to the abuse you had?

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@JLeslie as I’m typing out the details of this, I have decided to send in PM. The short answer to your question is no, I don’t think that is the case.
Also, I don’t spank my children. I don’t feel it is necessary for me, but, I’m not against people who do spank.

Ron_C's avatar

I know teenagers are a pain it the but and sometimes a spanking is the only way to get through but this guy is a foul-mouthed brutal thug. A couple smacks should have done the job. Smacking the kid in the legs and anywhere he could reach is too much. On top of that using that kind of language teaches the kid that it is acceptable to drop the f bomb whenever you feel like it.

It’s typical Texas though, home of the express line through death row. I wouldn’t be surprised if they found a way to re-institute whipping and the stocks as proper punishment for minor crimes. Removing this guy from the bench will do little to fix the Texas justice system. I support their leaving the union, no president we ever got from that state was worth a damn and they should be left to their regressive selves.

JLeslie's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf Ok thanks. Sorry for my assumption that you spank your children.

john65pennington's avatar

As I predicted, this incident made the national news last night.

I am just wondering what is next?

Qingu's avatar

It would be nice if there was a national conversation about this. Because there are still a ton of jackasses who think beating your kids to “show discipline” is acceptable.

Ela's avatar

This is not spanking, it is beating. Plain and simple. There is no fuzzy line there, no maybe he lost control. His intent was to beat his child. Maybe I heard wrong, but didn’t he ask “for the big(thick) one when his wife her fucking mother! fetched his belt weapon of choice for him? Sorry, I cannot watch it again. I only saw a few minutes, wondered where the hell her mother was and closed it as soon as she stepped in to help.
It wasn’t the first time this had happened to her (why else would the camera be set up?) and dollars to donuts it wasn’t the last time. I’m not against people spanking their kids but I don’t believe some kids “need” to be spanked. I think it depends more on the parent then the child. I’ve spanked my kids but it more just to get their attention or let them know I mean business. I also popped my son it the mouth once when he was little for being sassy and felt absolutely horrible after. I never did it again. Slapping someone, to me, is extremely personal and a line that should not be crossed for any reason.

Both parents should be held accountable. The mother is just as responsible and should have stepped in between, not helped out. I think I’m more sickened by that. Maybe because I would have kicked his ass? No. I would have never married the man. He didn’t wake up one day a become abusive.

If anyone went after my child like that, I don’t know what I’d do, I just know they would have to get through me first.
I am so sorry your mother did not intervene @InTheZone

tranquilsea's avatar

@JLeslie Frustration is frustration. It was just as frustrating dealing with the rude and yelling teens as it was dealing with them doing things they know they shouldn’t be doing. You are right: taking the computer away would have been a much better way of making his point.
________________________________________

That wasn’t spanking that was an all out beating. That was about him trying to bend her to his will. THAT is the big problem here. Parents like this think they should have absolute control of their kids. When the kids do something that shows they don’t have that control the parents go ape shit on them.

I understand that I have influence over my children…and a great deal of influence if I play my cards right. My influence won’t stop them from making some bad choices because they are free individuals. Hopefully, my influence will help minimize those choices.

@EnchantingEla the mother stepped in to help the father and yelled at her daughter to turn over and “take it like a grown woman”. Then she grabbed the belt away from the father and when he went off looking for another belt she gave the daughter a whack herself.

JLeslie's avatar

@tranquilsea I agree it is a control issue. Thanks for your reply, I know it is a tough subject for you.

tranquilsea's avatar

@JLeslie It is tough. It is amazing to me that the father said he didn’t harm her. I haven’t been beaten like that in 30 years and seeing it took me right back there (I was really a mess yesterday). For such a supposedly well educated man it is amazing to me that he believes the only harm that counts is the harm you can see.

Two my siblings ended up in abusive marriages and it’s no wonder when we had been primed for it.

Ela's avatar

@tranquilsea I didn’t know she took part. I just knew she helped out and allowed it to happen and that makes me sick.

tranquilsea's avatar

@EnchantingEla me too.

What kids desperately need in situations like that is someone to stick up for you. That someone in Hillary’s life should have been her mother. I know how hard it is to step in the way of someone who is reigning blows down. I’ve done it and I was terrified….plus I was only 13.

Hibernate's avatar

@GladysMensch it seems that she’s 23 and that happened when she was 16.
How about this

How about people should give all the details when asking a question.
I’m all in the parents favor .. fuck her !! She is told not to do bad things yet she continues to do so. And when she thinks the parents are close to beating her she just records it with calm just so she can have “proof” later.
No way I’ll take her side now. She knew she was breaking the law and she knew how to act around the parents to make them go take the other step and beat her.
He might have used force, beat her more than enough but it’s not like she wasn’t warned or anything. She acted according to her conscience now she plays the victim.
What does she wants to prove with this? Beside making life a hell for her family.
What’s wrong with her? Why did she waited 6 years before presenting this to an officer of the law? She clearly knew she was “Abused” then but she didn’t do shit.

@ all those who don’t agree with me. Before not agreeing or feeling obliged to reply give this situation a thought. She’s 23 and she was beaten at 16. She did nothing for 6 years. This might not seem weird at first but all the drama crated here is just the way she’s getting back to her father. It’s not like she didn’t had the strength to film the beating.

Ela's avatar

@Hibernate Nothing you say can will justify it, condone it or make it acceptable for me, sorry.
My kid would be sitting in an empty room (except his bed and clothes) before I would beat him in this manner for any reason.

SpatzieLover's avatar

I’m 37 @Hibernate. The physical pain goes away. The mental anguish does not.

My husband has been going to therapy for just over a year now. His childhood trauma is just now being addressed. It plays a large roll in how he parents.

This young lady’s life will take a long time to “normalize”...and that’s if she’s getting good therapeutic assistance.

We were able to witness one beating. I doubt it was the worst one. I also strongly suspect that the verbal abuse was worse than the physical. Parents that think it’s okay to beat, usually mentally torture their family members.

tranquilsea's avatar

@Hibernate blame the victim. Like that hasn’t been done before.

What @SpatzieLover wrote is absolutely true. It takes years and years if not a lifetime to come to terms with abuse. To the day my mom died I couldn’t bring myself to even ask her why she did what she did. I knew I would never get an apology for it either. I think it is incredibly brave that Hillary posted what she did.

I feel sorry for the people in your life if you think that what happened in that video was justified.

gorillapaws's avatar

@Hibernate I’m not sure if you’re aware of it, but many rape victims never tell anybody for their entire lives. People who are the victims of abuse are often so traumatized and afraid that they don’t do anything about it for years? or are all of them lying too?

Response moderated (Personal Attack)
Hibernate's avatar

@tranquilsea yes. She filmed it. She waited a long time before taking action. Oh wait, she had to live with them after that event from 16 to whatever age she left home [if she ever left home].

@Qingu please keep those comments for yourself. Thank you.

Response moderated (Flame-Bait)
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Allie's avatar

[mod says:] You can debate freely, but attacks of any kind are not allowed. Feel free to state your opinions and discuss so long as you do not demean another person.

Ela's avatar

@Hibernate You don’t see any sadness in the fact that she expected that kind of treatment as punishment?
I see your point… she did intentionally set up the camera, she knew her actions would cause her parents to be angry… she did indeed push the boundaries. To an extent, that’s what kids do. I just don’t believe that makes this type of “discipline” acceptable. It’s a parents job and responsibility to not be pushed over the edge and to a point where you loose this kind of control. I believe as a parent you need to remove yourself from the situation, regain control of your emotions and then approach it.

Qingu's avatar

If she had to live with her parents, why on earth would she release the video? If it would not succeed in making the authorities take her away from them, they would beat her even more. Unfortunately beating children is legal in many states.

In my opinion, people who believe that beating children is acceptable, for any reason and under any circumstance, should not be allowed to have kids.

Blackberry's avatar

Damn it, MODS…..:P

Ela's avatar

LOL that means you have to play nice BB ; )

Qingu's avatar

@EnchantingEla, there were literally hundreds of thousands of kids in 2004, probably millions, who illegally downloaded media from the Internet. Under no circumstances should ANY of them have been beaten for it.

Ela's avatar

I absolutely agree @Qingu. No one deserves to be beaten, raped, tortured or violated personally no matter the reason.

Hibernate's avatar

@EnchantingEla yes. I find it very sad. But it makes me sick when the aggressed person does not ask for help. The girl went to sleep on the couch and in the next time things went to normal.

Trying to erase it from her memory it won’t happened because it’s engraved there but why wait so much for it. Clearly she wants something out of it now. I’m not sure what and we clearly don’t know the whole story here.

Qingu's avatar

I imagine she wants her dad removed from his job and socially shunned. That’s certainly what I would want.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Clearly she wants something out of it now. She wants her dad to be helped by professionals. She has stated so in interviews.

Coming out of an abusive household, I can tell you @Hibernate…living a lie is horrible. No one knows the truth that an abused person lives with. You can’t tell anyone what really goes on in your home. Your friends and outside family members often think you have a perfect home life.

Blackberry's avatar

Not to mention some kids don’t even realize how wrong it is until they find out later from external sources. I had no idea abuse was wrong as a kid, I just thought that was how it goes.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Blackberry Perfect example: Until a few months ago my husband thought his parents “spanked” him. He thought “every kid got spanked the same way”.

He didn’t understand why I was shocked during a therapy session when he described the “spankings” he received as a kid.

He found out that he was beaten. He now knows that his mom has been in therapy groups for abused spouses.

Because his mom and dad told him they were “spanking” him, he (in his literal mind) believed that what they did to him was what every other kid went through.

Hibernate's avatar

@SpatzieLover Okay. But she’s was 16 and not 8. Someone must have seen she’s not okay or bruises. At no point there was stated she has a mental incapacity or things related.
If she really wants to help out her dad she should have made this private. Until he’ll get help he’ll lose most that he has worked for. And for what?

Anyway I’ll rest my case here.

Qingu's avatar

“If she really wants to help out her dad she should have made this private.”

What does this statement even mean? What went on was already private.

Ela's avatar

@Qingu I took it to mean that she should have not posted it on youtube in front of the masses. It should have been addressed on a more personal, private level. Which I agree with. Not that it should have been kept hidden or unaddressed.

I read some of her “reasons” for it on Yahoo news and frankly I don’t know. Apparently close friends/family members knew, her mother knew yet no one did anything to help stop or end the abuse. Nothing was done to correct the situation at the time.
I agree there is much more then we know. It’s hard to imagine in this day and age that something like this takes place and can be seen as acceptable, but as stated, laws vary from state to state.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Apparently close friends/family members knew, her mother knew yet no one did anything to help stop or end the abuse.

That would be reason enough for me to post it if this were me. Living a lie, surrounded by a bunch of liars is a horrible hell of a life.

Ela's avatar

@SpatzieLover I completely agree that it needs to be brought out. As far as posting it on youtube, knowing it will go viral… nope, I don’t agree with that action. When she was 16? Absolutely. I’m relatively sure it would have gotten her removed from the situation and out of danger. Her mom and dad have been divorced since 2007 and her living with her mother (I believe). There is more to this than her just wanting her to get help for her dad, imo.

tranquilsea's avatar

She’s probably mad at what was done to her. I know I am. She has every right to be mad.

I think it was incredibly brave of her to post the video as it has opened up a dialogue on abuse.

Blackberry's avatar

@tranquilsea Not to mention it spread like wild fire and now opened the door slightly for people to understand why this is wrong. I believe some people tried to get local news agencies to cover this story, but they refused, until it showed up everywhere all of a sudden.

tranquilsea's avatar

@Blackberry is it insane that in 2011 anyone could view that video and deem it appropriate discipline. and it makes me very sad that they would

Blackberry's avatar

@tranquilsea When I look at it now, it’s definitely insane, but I grew up around some people that think this is standard discipline for children that make bad mistakes (and what she did wasn’t even bad). And their reasoning is so typical: they think it teaches them, they got the same treatment so of course everyone should, and that type of discipline is fitting to make kids good, seen and not heard.

JLeslie's avatar

@Blackberry Maybe locally they aren’t appalled enough. Maybe locally corporal punishment it normal. Look, even here on fluther many have no problem with what the father did, or don’t think it was very bad.

Although, here where I live the local news picks up stories of children coming home with welts from being paddled at school, and most of the people around me are fine with physical discipline, but I don’t remember seeing stories about parents using corporal punishment, but there must be some stories I guess. I think if it happened in a persons home they would be more loath to report it here. I do see many many comments on my facebook and in the news about Memphis city school system doing with corporal punishment in the last few years, and many parents want it back.

Blackberry's avatar

@JLeslie There’s a lack of patience plaguing some people that decide to be parents, it seems.

tranquilsea's avatar

The whole argument that “in my location this is the way we deal with things” is crazy. I live in a province that has the highest rate of domestic violence. Does it make it ok to beat my husband because some many people around me are? Of course not.

Abuse is abuse is ABUSE.

As has been noted else where on the thread. If he had turned around and beat the crap out of his wife he would have been arrested (if the authorities were apprised). If he walked up to a person on the street and beat the crap out them he would have been arrested. It is crazy that he could do what he did and people have to think about whether or not it was a crime.

JLeslie's avatar

Seen and not heard.

Obey and don’t question.

Do as I say not as I do.

Yuck.

Pandora's avatar

Ok so I’ve given it some more thought. He is a paid official to keep the law. He sends other peoples children for stealing to jail or fines them or gives them community service, I am sure.
So he should’ve reported her for stealing. She was breaking the law, and he broke the law not reporting her theft. So he should be fired as well.
I mean why was she let off the hook? Yes she’s his daughter but does that mean that a cops daughter or a lawyers kid should be allowed to be let off the hook where so many other kids dangle?

Qingu's avatar

Internet piracy is not the same as stealing.

tranquilsea's avatar

I have a hard time believing any parent would turn their kid in for downloading a couple of songs from Kazaa. This is a behaviour that is literally done by millions of kids all over North America/the world. It is not a crime but a civil case. This girl did not steal a car or clothes or food.

But even if she had done so he grossly overreacted.

Cruiser's avatar

@EnchantingEla As personal as a matter of discipline in the privacy of your own home is, I can’t thank this brave girl enough for having the foresight and courage to finally shed light on just how damaging and impactful child abuse can be. She has empowered thousands of kids who are silently suffering to know they can find a way to stop this insanity once and for all. The sad part is what she endured pales in comparison to what other kids go through every day of their lives.

Ela's avatar

I completely agree @Cruiser. I am not saying what he (nor her mother) did was acceptable or excusable in any way, shape or form. He should be held accountable, as should the mother. I’m simply saying, and I may be wrong, but my guts telling me there is another reason for her posting it on youtube.
Am I the only one that sees the mother’s wrongness and active role in all this?

Pandora's avatar

@EnchantingEla Nope, but mom was on tv and gave some song and dance about him being so contolling of her and that she asked her daughter to forgive her and she has. She said she tried to leave him when her daughter was 6 months old but she went back to him because he made her feel ashamed. Yada Yada.

Cruiser's avatar

@EnchantingEla From what little info I have seen on the mom that there is evidence the mom was abused as well and coerced to participate in this disciplinary actions. She eventually left her husband and has admitted and been remorseful of her role in this child’s abuse. I don’t think her song and dance earns her a free pass and should be held accountable almost as much as the dad.

Ela's avatar

I’m not buying it @Cruiser, sorry. Rumor has it the mom took some shots at her when the father had left the room. Personally, I think the way it was presented was an act of vindictiveness by her and her mother toward the father. I think that’s why it is all coming out now, the way it did.

Pandora's avatar

@Qingu It is very much the same as stealing. You are using or taking something from people who manufactured it and giving them nothing for the trouble. Its like taking 50 cents out of someones pocket only multiply it thousands of time. It ends up adding up to lots of revenue lost. Thats like saying, I stold one candy bar from a store. Now multiply that by 100,000 people in a year and now mutlply that by 500,000 of businesses online. Now ask yourself if pirating hurts the people who get laid off because their business took some large losses. Its not the big guy who takes the hit either. Its the little guy who loses his job.

Ela's avatar

She didn’t sound very ashamed @Pandora when she was screaming at her to bend over and take it like a woman. That’s all I could watch (and will watch). I think the mom makes me angrier than the father. She was the daughter’s last defense and not only she fail her, she took an active role in it. And now things are all peachy-keen between them? I’m just not getting it, sorry. I get the feeling there’s more here going on.

Pandora's avatar

@EnchantingEla I feel the same way.

phaedryx's avatar

(Apparently the other question got deleted, so I’m going to re-post this here.)

If you find it hard to watch/listen to this stuff (like I do) here’s a transcript I found:
———
Starting at 0:51
Dad: Get Hillary out of the room. (To Hillary) Get over here. Bend over that bed.
Hillary: Why?
Dad: Bend over that bed. Bend over the bed.
Hillary: Why?
Dad: (strikes her with the belt on the back of her leg) Bend over the bed! (strikes her with his belt on the back of the leg) (begins to push her on the bed)
Hillary: Stop! (cries out)
Dad: (strikes her on the side of her leg with the belt)
Hillary: (cries out)
Dad: (strikes her twice on the side of her leg with his belt) Bend over the bed or I’m gonna keep beating you on your legs!
Hillary: Stop! (collapses on the floor next to the bed)
Dad: Bend over the bed, stand up.
Hillary: (cries out) no.
Dad: Stand up! (picks her up and pushes her on the bed) Bend over the ****ing bed **** it!
Hillary: (still crying) no! (resists the efforts to push her on her stomach)
Dad: (Strikes her three times on her leg with his belt)
Hillary: (screams)
Dad: (Strikes the side/top of her thigh with his belt twice)
Hillary: Stop!
Dad: (attempts to push her face down again) Bend over like I said! **** it! Get up! Bend over the ****ing bed! Lay down, or I’ll spank you on your ****ing face! Roll over! (strikes her with his belt on the side of her leg) [indistinguishable] ****ing! (strikes her leg with his belt)
Hillary: No! That’s enough!
Dad: (strikes her leg with his belt twice) She told you to take that ****ing thing off your computer? (pushes her by her face so she falls backwards on the bed)
Hillary: (crying) no.
Mom: (enters room) (takes belt from dad) Here, [Hillary] turn over one time, you get over on your stomach and you let me spank you on the butt.
Dad: (attempts to take belt back) Let me give her some more.
Mom: No, [Hillary] turn over and I’m gonna spank you on your butt. You turn over like a 16 year old and take it! Like a grown woman! Turn over!
Dad: She won’t! She’s disobedient. Give [the belt] to me.
Mom: Turn over!
Dad: I’ll go get the (indistinguishable) (exit room)
Mom: Turn over! You get on your butt now. All the way on your stomach. (hits Hillary with the belt someplace off-screen)
Hillary: (continued crying)
Mom: Thank you! (exits room)
Hillary: (continued sobbing)
(At 3:07)
Dad: (enters room) I never got my lick in on her! Get on your ****ing stomach on the bed now!
Hillary: Dad!
Dad: Get on the stomach or I’m gonna start beating you again.
Mom: (enters room) Get on your stomach
Dad: (strikes her leg with his belt) Get on your stomach I said!
Mom: Get on your stomach.
Hillary: (Screams)
Dad: Get on your stomach
Mom: Get on your stomach
Hillary (constant screaming)
Mom: Get on your god**** stomach
Dad: Get on your stomach
Mom: Get on your stomach
Dad; (strikes her with his belt on a body part off-screen)
Hillary: (sobbing) Stop!
Mom: (indistinguishable) right
Dad: (strikes her with his belt again) I’ll beat you into submission!
Hillary: (sobbing) stop!
Dad: You wanna put some more computer games on?
Hillary: (collapsed in the corner) (sobbing) stop!
Dad: (leaning over her) You want some more?
Hillary: (sobbing) No!
Dad: f**** computer. Told you I didn’t even want one in the g*** d*** house. see all the problems they’ve caused?
Mom: Yeah, I have, I do.
Dad: All the ****ing problems they’ve caused.
Mom: Yeah, and I told her take your credit by exam, I don’t think you should. She wanted to, OK? She made the decision, I didn’t want her to take them any longer because I do believe she’s too immature.
Hillary: (still collapsed in the corner, still sobbing)
Mom: And it has caused nothing but arguments and fights since we got it back
Dad: (leans over collapsed Hillary, pulls her face up to meet his) Are you happy? Huh? Disobeying your parents? (appears to hit her off-screen)
Hillary: (still sobbing) Stop!
Dad: (indistinguishable) did I do? Is it fun to disobey your mom and dad? Huh?
Hillary: (sobbing) No
Dad: You don’t deserve to ****ing be in this house. Disobedient. What happened to you? Obedient, nice little girl. Now you lie, cheat, and steal.
Hillary: (incoherent sobbing)
Dad: Put my ****ing (indistinguishable) on, I oughta just keep beating you and beating you! (imitates striking her with his belt)
Hillary: (sobbing) Stop, stop!
Dad: That’s how upset I am. Too much (possibly willbot)?
Hillary: Stop!
Dad: Six months. Six ****ing months, got it?
Hillary: Stop it! (continued sobbing, coughing)
Dad: (continuing to lean over the collapsed Hillary) If I hear so much as you raise your ****ing voice to me or your mother, or the wrong tone, or you do one little thing wrong, you even look at me ****ing wrong, I’m gonna take you in there and wear your ****ing ass out with this belt! You understand me?
Hillary: Yes sir.
Dad: That’s what it’s come to. That’s what it’s come to. Got it? Are you happy?
Hillary: (sobbing) No
Dad: You caused this. By your [sic] dis-****ing-obedience. You know I’m not gonna put up with it don’t you?
Hillary: Yes sir
Dad: Did you think I was fooling?
Hillary: No sir
Dad: Do you think I fool around?
Hillary: No sir
Dad (steps away from towering over the collapsed Hillary) (goes off-screen, possible out of the room)
Mom (off-screen): I’ve told you: don’t put Kazaa on the computer. And you know what I’m telling you now? Are you listening?
Hillary: Yes ma’am
Mom: Don’t touch one other thing on your computer besides your schoolwork until you are given notice otherwise… Is that understood?
Hillary: Yes ma’am
Mom: OK, good night. Now. I. will leave. (indistinguishable) (leaves room)
Hillary gets up off her collapsed position on the floor
Indistinguishable yelling and profanity outside the room
Mom (enters room): You’re sleeping on my couch in Allison’s room. Get a blanket and go down there.
End at 7:17

phaedryx's avatar

Some observations:

He uses the word “beat” many times. Words have meaning and a judge, of all people, should be acutely aware of his word choice and how he labelled his actions.

She has cerebral palsy (and accompanying coordination difficulties) which would make it more difficult to submit to his demands in the first place, compounded by the stress of the situation.

Some quick googling tells me that beating someone with cerebral palsy can make their symptoms worse. People with neurological conditions may under-react to pain; it doesn’t mean that they aren’t experiencing the pain. It is sometimes misunderstood as defiance.

I couldn’t find any advocates for spanking a “grown woman” in my pro-spanking searches. They seem to agree that it is ineffective at that age.

It looks like it isn’t for corrective punishment, but, rather, out of anger and frustration on his part (he wants to “get his licks in”).

Luiveton's avatar

He is one son of a bitch. And the thing is, it’s not a good enough reason to beat the shit out of someone. All because she downloaded a game on the computer? Stupid fuckers.

Cruiser's avatar

It now seems she did this to retaliate against her father who threatened to take away her Mercedes and reduce her “allowance” he gives her because he felt she was frittering her life away just working at a video game store. She told if he did he would live to regret it…

Plus he won’t face charges due to statute of limitations.

”“Just prior to the YouTube upload, a concerned father shared with his 23-year-old daughter that he was unwilling to continue to work hard and be her primary source of financial support, if she was going to simply `drop out,’ and strive to achieve no more in life than to work part time at a video game store,” Adams’ statement said. “Hillary warned her father if he reduced her financial support, and took away her Mercedes automobile, which her father had provided, he would live to regret it.”

Whole story here”:“Just prior to the YouTube upload, a concerned father shared with his 23-year-old daughter that he was unwilling to continue to work hard and be her primary source of financial support, if she was going to simply `drop out,’ and strive to achieve no more in life than to work part time at a video game store,” Adams’ statement said. “Hillary warned her father if he reduced her financial support, and took away her Mercedes automobile, which her father had provided, he would live to regret it.”

Whole story here

Qingu's avatar

@Pandora, it’s not the same as stealing. If I steal your bread, you don’t have the bread anymore. If I steal your DVD, you don’t have the DVD anymore. If I illegally make a copy of your mp3, you still have the mp3. If you lack the nuance to distinguish between those two acts, I don’t know what to tell you.

JLeslie's avatar

@Qingu It is stealing, because the artist and the company who recorded it are protected by copyright laws. They deserve to be able to sell their work and not have it stolen or downloaded ilegally, if that is indeed what was being done.

tranquilsea's avatar

@JLeslie that why it is a copyright infringement case and not a theft case.

JLeslie's avatar

@tranquilsea Maybe that is the technical or legal lingo for it, but it is still stealing in a way, isn’t it? Losing sales because someone is copying my music for free is the same to my pocketbook as stealing.

Blackberry's avatar

@JLeslie I can understand that. But I was just thinking if this was such a big deal when people would record songs from the radio on a cassette tape. It seemed ok with everyone, then, but maybe I just never heard about any controversy.

JLeslie's avatar

@Blackberry I’m not exactly sure how the law works. I think it is ok to copy recordings for your own use from the radio, not ok to sell it? I think probably what is questionable is if the site she was downloading from had the legal right to allow the download. Maybe it is kind of like taking a stolen good.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Blackberry as a kid I used to tape everything to cassette tapes. I’m so glad the copyright police weren’t around then ;)

Qingu's avatar

Violating copyright laws is not the same as stealing.

Doesn’t mean it’s okay, but I think calling it “stealing’ is both too harsh and completely unhelpful in terms of how to understand and deal with the problems it causes.

Qingu's avatar

@SpatzieLover, that’s what bugs me about it. I used to make those tapes too, from the radio. So I’m a thief because I am stealing profits from the record companies that I would have had to purchase cassettes from otherwise? Give me a break.

It’s not even clear that piracy always causes a loss in sales/profits. Oftentimes it raises awareness of media and incentivizes people who can afford it to purchase more. Though my understanding is that piracy has crippled the PC game industry. And I cannot stand the sanctimonious bullshit attitude that so many pirates have about their “right” to acquire media without paying for it.

Ela's avatar

When did this thread turn in one on copyright infringement laws?

Thank you for the update @Cruiser.
“I think the way it was presented was an act of vindictiveness by her and her mother toward the father. I think that’s why it is all coming out now, the way it did.”

JLeslie's avatar

Top of my facebook home page today. A “friend’s” status:

At a funeral and just heard a man say that he thanked his now deceased mother for the whoopings that she gave him.

Whoopings obviously do a boy good. She obviously raised a well mannered respectable productive man.

Blackberry's avatar

@JLeslie Very anecdotal. I was beat, too. But this was and will not be a major factor in who I am or any success I may have. Well, except that I am now very anti-physical abuse in child rearing.

JLeslie's avatar

@Blackberry It makes me sick. I could not believe it when I read it. I am sure there are plenty of people who turn out just fine who were spanked and whipped, but they could have turned out that way without it in my opinion. That man will now have children and whip them.

@Pandora I meant to write you, I am guessing you were not disciplined physcialy often, I know people who were hit 2 and 3 times a week.

Hibernate's avatar

Oh, in the end they saw things just like I did.
I’m sorry but it seemed to have big “holes” ... this story is tragic but I didn’t even go there to think she could do this as a blackmail. Gosh…
Better if I give it rest.

Blackberry's avatar

The abuse is still wrong.

tranquilsea's avatar

I agree @Blackberry. Is is any surprise that she would use this to blackmail him? It seems that the way he dealt with things was through power. He is reaping what he sowed.

What she does with this information 6 years later does not take away from what was done to her.

Ela's avatar

Nothing takes away from the abuse she endured. Her reason for posting the video though, was vindictive. Period. Saying what she did was alright is just not acceptable to me. She used her abuse. That tells me a lot about her character. All it is is a leverage for her, a tool. She doesn’t give a shit about “getting help for father” or about any other children who have or do endure abuse in their own home. It saddens me that so many children are abused (even worse then in this case) and she did absolutely nothing for them.
He is an ass that with his anger, disrespect, meanness and his wife’s support!, raised and molded a selfish, mean young adult. People may say good for her, that he deserved it and that may be so but it does nothing to break the cycle. She will be one of the adults who will end up beating her own children.

Ela's avatar

She completely discredited the incident and made it seem insignificant.

SpatzieLover's avatar

We can never really know anyone’s reasoning or intentions.

However, I have lived in this situation with two different dads…Both of whom dangled carrots…Both of whom did this well into my adulthood.

She needs help and support.

JLeslie's avatar

Who cares why she did it, he still did it. Her being vindictive doesn’t change how he treated her.

Either way we can probably conclude it is all on his head. He is still responsible for his actions, for whipping her. He probably has some responsibility for having a daughter who holds onto hate and is vindictive if that is indeed the case. The man obviously has an anger and control problem, would it be a big surprise if his daughter did too? You get what you give. Not that all children of abusers and screwed up parents are screwed up, many swear off ever being like their parents and live up to that promise, but many repeat the cycle in some form or another.

Ela's avatar

I care why she did it.
She posted a violent video about a sensitive issue that touches thousands of people on a very personal level then made a mockery of it. She plays with literally thousands of people’s emotions for personal gain and satisfaction? That’s not okay with me, sorry.
Yes, she is the victim here but she took complete advantage of it at the cost of not only her father, but everyone who supports her and to me that’s plain bullshit.
He did not do this alone. Her mother was right there helping him. She allowed it to happen, fetched the belt and even took part in it. As I stated earlier, I don’t know what I would have done but the bastard would have to get through me first to get to my child.
I cannot see where any of them actually care about the violent incident.
She isn’t looking for help. She does not care. Myself, you and almost anyone who saw that video care more then she does.
I care why she did it.
He is complete asshole, her mother is a mean bitch and she is a spoiled brat.
Everything about this pisses me off.
This discussion is closed to me…

JLeslie's avatar

@EnchantingEla Explain to me why it makes a mockery?

SpatzieLover's avatar

@EnchantingEla she is a spoiled brat

How? Because her dad gave her a car? Then every kid in my neighborhood is a spoiled brat.

I’m not understanding what it is about this that is upseting you.

If I had a camera at the time this was happening in my life, I’d have been like David Hasselhoff’s daughter or this daughter and posted it for someone to see…for the simple reason that I’d want someone to believe me and to know how my family life really was.

Hibernate's avatar

@EnchantingEla I think I love you ^^

@tranquilsea she just made her a subject of ridicule when she clearly showed the whole country she did not care. I am sorry for her. First because she was abused. I am sorry because she made a wrong decision when it came to taking action. I am sorry for her because now people will laugh about her. It’s really sad.

@SpatzieLover I don’t think anyone who saw the video EVER doubted she was abused. In the end after getting ready to say something you just see she was making a “joke”. It’s just a fact about a crude reality. This is somewhat similar to the boy who shouted “wolf”. In the end this girl gets nothing out of it because she didn’t make the correct decisions.

Ela's avatar

@Hibernate I bet you say that to all the jellies heehee ; )

Hibernate's avatar

Nuh-uh. You were the first one. I hope you won’t be the last.

Qingu's avatar

@EnchantingEla, please describe why you think the girl in the video made a mockery of the incident and how you think she has taken advantage of it. I have no idea what you are talking about.

Ron_C's avatar

After all has been said above, my final conclusion is this: The whole family is dysfunctional. The father’s a brutal control freak, the mother is submissive with a strong sadomasochistic streak, and the kid is a spoiled brat with no impulse control. Considering it happened in Texas, I doubt that the beating was severe enough to gain the notice of their judicial system. I think of it as “no blood, no sympathy state”. I expect the judge runs his bench the same way.

The only thing a person could gain interacting with this family is notoriety. I hope to never hear from any of them again and am happy that I am not related to any of those people.

Qingu's avatar

@Ron_C, how did you draw the conclusion that the kid is a spoiled brat with no impulse control?

gorillapaws's avatar

I just heard about a recent study done that indicated children who are physically punished are more likely to be dishonest and it made me think of this situation. The results are certainly not the final word on the subject, but I think they are still somewhat relevant and certainly interesting/worth more scientific study.

Ron_C's avatar

@Qingu there a couple reasons that I think the kid is spoiled, she downloaded programs that allowed spy ware to operate on the family computer after being specifically warned against it. She obviously set up the camera expecting a beating and using the tape in an attempt to control her father. Her father has poor impulse control and violent tendencies so I expect that trait was handed down to his daughter genetically and by example. Further, I understand that this tape was released on YouTube specifically to punish her father for taking away her car. Yes, I think the whole family is dysfunctional.

Qingu's avatar

@Ron_C, where is your source for spyware? And who cares? Millions of people do that.

And I fail to see why you are faulting her for setting up a camera to record her abuse. I think that is awesome.

I also find it sort of appalling that you are assuming a genetic disposition based on the behavior of her father.

And I think it’s appalling in our society that victims of abuse, when he or she (usually she) comes forward, immediately has their character and motives questioned.

Ron_C's avatar

@Qingu please don’t get me wrong, the father was completely wrong and brutal. My point is that abused children become abusing adults. She is just following what her parents taught her but that doesn’t make her parents any less nasty. As for the spy-ware, that just comes with file sharing programs like Limeware.

Qingu's avatar

@Ron_C, I really think you’re out of line. I don’t see evidence of this young woman being abusive. I think it is horrific that, after she has chosen to expose the abuse she went through, her character is now subject to these kind of assumptions.

As for spyware: again, who cares? We all did file sharing in 2004. Some admonishment is perhaps deserved. Brutal abuse is not.

Ron_C's avatar

@Qingu again there is no real argument between us. I’m not saying that the young woman is abusive although she now has the potential through her upbringing. I’m saying that she is manipulative and vengeful. Of course her vengeance is justified. I just wish she hadn’t waited so long. One can only guess the number of children that suffered needlessly because of this judges decisions.

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