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Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Do you hate who you are?

Asked by Vincent_Lloyd (2958 points ) November 3rd, 2011

Well like the question says, do you hate who you are now? Your personality, how you look at the world, etc. etc. I can say I don’t like who I am. Wish I could change, but I can’t… It’s who I can be, and who I am now I guess… But do you hate who you are? What don’t you like about yourself?

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35 Answers

AshLeigh's avatar

Sometimes… Most of the time I look into the mirror, and I hate the person I see.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

@AshLeigh I feel the same way…:/

EmptyNest's avatar

Well @Vincent_Lloyd and @AshLeigh, the good news is, this will change. I have a nephew who is 16. He is the son of my sister who died of a brain aneurysm when he was only 2 years old. His father was a crack addict (although he adores his father) but the courts took him away from his father and put him with his uncle whom he can’t stand because he’s strict. I told him, hey, hang in there. In less than a year and a half, you’ll be 18. But he sees a year and a half as a long time. I’m in my 50’s so to me, that’s a very short time. Think of yourselves as bread in the oven. You’re not done yet. Give yourselves some time. xoxo

Bellatrix's avatar

I don’t hate myself at all and I don’t believe we can’t change. There may be some elements of our personality that is fairly static, but we can learn to be more confident, more outgoing, to be more patient etc.

What is it about yourself you don’t like and why do you believe you can’t change those things?

Luiveton's avatar

Sometimes I just don’t like how the people around me make me feel.

pezz's avatar

Yeap…. and anyone else that I try to be.

Dog's avatar

Yes, I have felt this way.

Uncomfortable feelings like these, in my life, have always been the catalyst for personal growth.

Life is a sort of like a role playing game. You start of with no real power and are bound by your limitations. Over time you earn the abilities to gain respect and form the character into what you choose.

If we were content with our lives all the time we would never feel the desire to change into who we wish to be. Respect, even self-respect, is earned.

jrpowell's avatar

I used too. Don’t take this as advice but I did a lot of LSD in high school. It helped clear up a lot of problems I was having. I became more comfortable in my own body and stopped caring what others think about me.

ucme's avatar

No, quite the opposite in fact.

stardust's avatar

No. I love myself.
@Vincent_Lloyd and @AshLeigh The way you view yourselves will change with time and growth. There’s nobody else quite like you in the world. Try to embrace that and celebrate yourself,x

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Gadzooks, I think when I was around 8yr-10yr I did not like who I was. Then I got OK with who I was and what I thought.

Now I say I hate how much of my life I squandered. The opportunities missed. The things I did not fight for hard enough. When I think of that I hate it, but I can do nothing about it now, but try to put up points before the final whistle blow.

ShanEnri's avatar

I like myself for the most part…there are some things that I could stand to change, but at the same time it’s these personality traits that make me, me! Like speaking my mind when I get frustrated or being too honest. However there are some things that I can change and when I really want to I will! We all have the power to change, we just have to want the change.

Hibernate's avatar

No I don’t. I understand some don’t like themselves but remember you can always change those aspects you don’t like about you.

I do have some aspects that I sometimes dislike in me but only at times. I won’t say what, sorry.

I count my blessings each day so I try to avoid the things that I don’t like; I can always turn up different.

Cruiser's avatar

I am happy with myself and my life. I few things I would have done differently though but I like where I am at right now.

bongo's avatar

No, I never hate myself, I sometimes hate what I might have done, but that may be alcohol related or just generally a life learning curve… I feel that if you love yourself, you look after yourself and then you are generally happier anyway because you eat well and make sure you have time for yourself. If you hate yourself then what I find is people get depressed, dont eat well and that makes them hate themselves more by not having a healthy life.

Meego's avatar

I don’t hate the insides and even if there is something I don’t like I can change it and I have before.

I don’t really hate the outsides either I just don’t like a lot of it, and I’m trying to change that first, right now it’s most important. One thing I am working on is that I need more confidence. And it’s happening very slooooowly.

I make people smile, laugh and very rarely to I make them upset so the insides must be pretty good.

Coloma's avatar

I like myself very much.
I am a usually happy, cheerful, optimistic and humorous personality.
I am honest, have no skeletons in my closet and have never done anything unforgiveable in terms of the big ticket fuck ups like cheating in a relationship.

The only thing I don’t like is my bodies insistence it stay heavier than I want it to, short of throwing myself into the wilderness and eating twigs and berries for 10 days a month. lol

CaptainHarley's avatar

I came to terms with who and what I am many years ago. I’m very comfortable in my own skin, : )

thorninmud's avatar

Everybody’s a mixed bag, including me and you.

Most of us carry around a little self-critic in our heads, always measuring our performance against whatever standard we’ve latched onto. That self-critical voice is important, but it needs to be tuned to a realistic level of sensitivity. Too sensitive, and it becomes a tyrant that torments your every step in the world; you’ll never be good enough to satisfy it. Too weak, and there’s no impetus for personal growth.

It helps to cultivate an appreciation for the value of flaws. Perfection isn’t the absence of flaws. Japanese artisans, among the most skilled in the world, often make a point of leaving flaws in their work, because they bring the work to life.

gailcalled's avatar

@Luiveton: Sometimes I just don’t like how the people around me make me feel.

This might be a good starting point for you to consider. You are letting the people around you wield too much power. No one can make you feel any way.

What about choosing either to perhaps distance yourself from these people or learning better coping skills.

Granted, I am much older than you, but I have learned to let other people feel the way they feel and allow myself the freedom to feel cheerful, content, grateful and unenvious. I could have decided to be morose, discontente, ungrateful and jealous. It is a skill that you can learn…on your own, or with help, if needs be.

I have a friend who says, “If life were fair, we’d be living in Somali and eating garbage.”

Coloma's avatar

Feeling gratitude as I sit in my comfy living room drinking hot coffee and not eating garabge. ;-)

gailcalled's avatar

edit: discontent.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Of course not.

saint's avatar

Not even close

Scooby's avatar

Nope; I’m a tad rough around the edges, can’t stand kids, maybe a little less out going than I used to be (unsociable work routine ) but generally a good guy….. My mothers says she’s proud of me, that’s what counts: “a good egg” , as she put it…….. :-/

Mariah's avatar

I still have a hell of a lot of room for improvement, but there’s no hate here.

@Vincent_Lloyd You can change, if you really think that’s what you should do. Or you can focus on learning to like yourself as you are. Both things can happen, but not as long as you think they can’t.

flutherother's avatar

No, becoming me took a long time and it wasn’t always easy.

laineybug's avatar

I like myself almost always. When I don’t I turn up my music and it goes away. I accept who I am, even if other people don’t. No-one can take away your right to be you, and you shouldn’t either.

Symbeline's avatar

I wouldn’t say I hate myself. Sometimes, I’m not too happy with how I process thoughts or act on things. I find many of my actions and reasoning lamentable and shameful. That being a part of me, I guess it is kind of like loathing oneself, if I say I don’t like those things. Somehow though, I don’t attribute these negative things as being directly connected to myself, rather than them being products of me. In an obvious way, that means they are directly connected, but since I’m aware of it and I know I could change it, it doesn’t feel like it. Maybe that part of me that lets it happen is what I shouldn’t like, instead of what comes of it. Get to the root of the problem likes, instead of cutting the weeds.
Otherwise though, I’m fine with my person, and while I don’t not give a fuck completely, I don’t enough to be comfortable with myself. Other people can be uncomfortable with me, and sometimes it does bother me, but what’s important for me is being good friends with me lol.

Bellatrix's avatar

What I do like is how this thread turned out @Vincent_Lloyd. Not sure if it went the way you thought it would but I learned a lot about some of our fabulous jellies. Great question.

downtide's avatar

Not any more but I did, up until about 3–4 years ago. That was when I stopped trying to fake my gender.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No. I so have a hard time saying I love myself though because I’m so self critical and driven by a time clock only I know and care about. For some reason, it’s easier and more fun to love other people and to let them love me. Since I’m kind of an over the hill dog now, I’m pretty resigned to how I am, feeling it’s ok not feel like a walking self help book and to just be thankful for all I do have and have had.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

The only thing that I don’t really hate about myself is how I’m not exactly like my dad, and I guess I can say I’m happy of my drumming skills since a lot of people say I’ve above average and all…but personality wise…meh can’t say I love myself…But from other people they say I’m a good guy all around…but I can’t say that about myself.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

I used to hate who I was because I felt like I was a terrible rotten sinner. I felt like everything I did was tainted by sin, no matter how good my intentions were. I would believe other people’s criticisms about me and take them extremely personally. I’d find ways to punish myself. I’d look in the mirror and tear myself to pieces constantly.

I have now grown to accept myself more. I’ve accepted that not everything bad that happens in my life is my fault. I’ve stopped being as depressed about the way I look. I have a thicker skin than I used to. I don’t let other people’s comments get to me nearly as much as they have in the past.

People can say all the hurtful words they want about someone, but that doesn’t make those words the truth if they aren’t. It doesn’t even necessarily mean the people doing the insulting mean what they are saying 100% of the time. There are people who take their anger out on others. When they do this, they may end up saying things they don’t really mean and end up regretting it later if they remember and they have consciences.

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