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Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Are you the weight you were before you had children?

Asked by Simone_De_Beauvoir (38828 points ) February 19th, 2012

Or anyone you know? As part of my OO (overcoming overeating) journey, I’ve been thinking about ‘ideal’ body weight fantasies that are an illusion since, for some of us, when we were that weight, we still thought we were ‘fat’. For me, the problem within the last few years had to do with wanting to be the size I was before my two children and nothing anyone said mattered. Now that I’m kinder to myself and doing well in my OO program, I am able to ask others whether that kind of thing is even real, whether anyone else marked their pre-baby body as more perfect than what they have now. I know the social and feminist critiques behind women (and those of us raised as women) being cast off as soon as they have kids as needing to ‘regain’ something prior to motherhood and that’s not what I’m looking for in this question. Just the basics…if you are that weight or if you want to be that weight or why does it matter?

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21 Answers

jca's avatar

I just had weight loss surgery so I’m about 100 lbs lighter.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@jca…than you were before you had children? or is your weight now the one you had before you had children?

cazzie's avatar

I’m lighter. sorry. (no surgery.)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@cazzie Why are you apologizing? I don’t think it’s normal or rational for me to want to be the weight I was before I had children. I don’t need to be that size.

Judi's avatar

I’m struggling to stay there but yes, I am. I actually had been 40 lbs more than my highest pregnancy weight, but I lost it about 5 years ago and struggle every day to keep it off. I also keep my trainer and yoga instructor in business because left to my own devices I would be a couch potato, (or maybe a fluther potato.)
I was not a twiggy before I had kids and so my expectation is not unrealistic. 5’4” and 135 won’t put me in a magazine or anything, but it’s a healthy place to be.
I think if you expect to be 5’10” and weigh 120 you might be asking for trouble as you get older and have kids.

SuperMouse's avatar

I am about the same weight I was before having babies or slightly lighter. I am not convinced it matters very much. I vividly remember about six weeks after having my first son, stepping on the scale knowing that I had lost all my pregnancy weight, and being absolutely furious that my pre-pregnancy pants still wouldn’t fit me. At that point I lost all faith in having lost the weight as being any kind of body barometer.

In my case I really think it is just the luck of the genetic draw. I did work out regularly during my pregnancies, but I dealt with the whole weight issue by stepping on the scale backward at every single appointment and not finding out how much I had gained until the baby had actually arrived. My sisters’ experiences with pregnancy weight gain were very different hen mine, so I figure I just got lucky.

wilma's avatar

I am not the same weight now as I was before I had my children. I was very thin before my first pregnancy, and now I weigh at least 25 pounds more. I had my first child over 30 years ago and my last child 15 years ago. My weight has been up and down, and has at times gone down to my pre-pregnancy weight.

cazzie's avatar

I’m usually the exception, because I have a thyroid disorder.

bkcunningham's avatar

I’m 50 and weigh more now than I did when my first child was born. As I’ve started going through menapause, my metabolism has slowed down. I swim, play golf, stay pretty active physically, and just recently started doing water aerobics. You know what? I’m not so concerned now, as I was when I was younger, as to how my body looks, I’m concerned with how it works and how I feel.

john65pennington's avatar

We married and my wife weighed 118 pounds of pure beauty.

After two children, she know weighes 125 pounds and still a pure beauty.

How did I get to be so lucky??

wilma's avatar

Like @bkcunningham says, I am also over 50, my weight isn’t as important to me now. It’s how I feel, and my health that matters most.

jca's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir: Before I got pregnant, I weighed about 90 lbs more than I do now.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@jca thanks for getting back to me

YARNLADY's avatar

No, I am currently the weight I was while carrying my babies.

tranquilsea's avatar

I’m not now but I was the same weight for about 10 years after my kids were born. The last 4 years have been hell for me due to all the drama I’ve had to deal with.

I’m pretty fit though. I’ve been running and lifting weights and I think I’m heavier due to the added muscle.

I look good and feel good and I’m not letting myself be ruled by my scale.

Sunny2's avatar

I’m 5 lbs heavier, but my shape has changed. My waist isn’t as small as it used to be.

augustlan's avatar

Nope. I’m heavier than I was on the day I went in to give birth to my last child 14 years ago. I weigh about 10 pounds more not pregnant than I did pregnant!

downtide's avatar

I was the same (or less) until about 6 years ago, by which time my daughter was about 17. Now I’m about 30 pounds heavier; half of that gain has happened in the last 8 months since I started on testosterone. I mentioned this to my endocrinologist, who said “You didn’t think you could go onto testosterone and not put weight on, did you?”

It’s not entirely a bad thing though, I used to be severely underweight. Now I’m on the upper edge of normal.

bkcunningham's avatar

I gained a lot of weight on Depo Provera, ironically, trying to not get pregnant. That is an evil drug.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

No. Before I had babies, I had that “perfect” body. I weighed about 98 lbs which was fine for my height and bone size and looked very firm and fit, but I gained even more weight after I delivered my daughters and got up to 163.

I’m back down to 130 now and plan to get back down to 110. My body will never look the same, though, because things change when you have babies! I’ll never be able to shop in the Junior’s department again, but… I’m okay with that. I used to despair over my weight gain, and the different shape of my body, but I’m more content now.

tranquilsea's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate I hear you about your body changing. My hips literally got wider after the birth of our third child. It doesn’t matter how thin I am I cannot fit into my old clothes that I could fit into prior to his birth. This topic came up fairly recently and he (now 12) laughed and said he was a “hip wrecker and not a ship wrecker”.

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