Social Question

Shippy's avatar

[NSFW] Do you like to answer personal questions about your sex life?

Asked by Shippy (9857 points ) October 25th, 2012

I don’t see the point of people asking questions about peoples sex lives? For example, How do you masturbate? or How many times do you climax, or Can you give me your masturbatory routine? (Yes I have been looking through older questions).

Here is my question, why would someone want to know why and how I masturbate? or which routine I follow? Why would I want to share this information? Isn’t this personal? is it voyeuristic? Is it a win win situation? (exhibitionist vs voyeur paradise). Would love your thoughts on this?

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55 Answers

janbb's avatar

No – I shun them. I agree with you; it is creepy.

ragingloli's avatar

So you have something to hide? no doubt effortlessly

Buttonstc's avatar

No. It’s pointless and I value my privacy.

Symbeline's avatar

I don’t, unless it’s someone who’s a close friend, or, obviously, someone who I’m sexually active with. Otherwise this stuff is personal, and it feels pretty uncomfortable bringing it out in the open to just anybody.

marinelife's avatar

I think that questions like that are asked by those who want to get off sexually on the answers. I avoid answering them, because I don’t want to be an object of gratification for someone I don’t even really know.

jonsblond's avatar

I think I answered a few when I was new to the whole Q & A experience. I don’t now mainly because of what @marinelife wrote. I think some people ask these types of questions for the reason @marinelife mentioned, or they are just bored or want to stir the pot and get a bunch of great question points.

ucme's avatar

Nah, it’s like if someone I was casually chatting with in the street threw in a “Do your balls slap off your wife’s arse during?” question, i’d most likely smack them about the head & face.

Seek's avatar

@ucme Thanks. Now you can come clean the coffee off my monitor.

ucme's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr Frightfully sorry m’dear, do forgive me :¬)

Shippy's avatar

@ucme LMAO. Oh my thank you, you made me laugh I needed that LOLL

ucme's avatar

@Shippy Much nicer to have a thread filled with laughter than tales of “dangly bits.”

Buttonstc's avatar

OK ucme wins the Internet today :)

Shippy's avatar

@Buttonstc more than today, I think @ucme needs some sort of international award loll

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

It totally depends on the nature of the question. If it’s a medically based sex life question, then I’ll answer it. If it’s regarding general sex life things then I might answer it.

If it’s asking about specific routines like what you mentioned, then I’ll probably verbally bitchslap the OP for being creepy. I don’t like the idea of someone rubbing one out to a comment of mine.

Actually, I think some would-be jellies have been ousted early on for asking questions like that.

livelaughlove21's avatar

I’m an open book. I don’t get all worked up about sexual questions. If I’m old enough to do it, I’m old enough to talk about it.

Some questions are inappropriate, of course, and I probably won’t answer those, but I don’t think I’ve ever been asked a sexual question that made me uncomfortable.

Trillian's avatar

I suspect some people of wanting to introduce a dialogue and are looking for likely candidates.

gailcalled's avatar

I certainly wouldn’t in this forum.

wundayatta's avatar

I think that people have just as much interest in the variety of sexual experience as they are interested in the variety of first date experiences. There’s an ick factor in sex that makes people want to shy away into “none of my business” territory, but no one forces anyone to answer questions here, or to read the answers.

I mean, now I have this image of @ucme‘s balls banging against his wife as if there were those dice hanging off of a rear view mirror and banging against the windshield.

Priceless!

Somehow, I now have an image of a very red-faced balding man to go along with that. Just goes to show you. You can give a very small detail, but you can’t stop people from building a whole mountain out of that particular molehill.

Anyway, we have NSFW, and should suffice to keep everyone on this question away from “seeing” things they don’t want to see. I hope. I hope.

The rest of us can learn more about stuff we’re interested in, even if it is not socially acceptable to be interested in such things.

Blackberry's avatar

I want to hear about the sex lives of others, but not tell mine, lol.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’m pretty open about that kind of thing, actually I was having a conversation this weekend with three other people about backdoor stuff and girls, giving them advice.

The only time I wouldn’t feel okay with it is if someone were being pervy or ‘getting excited’ about the conversation, that’s a little creepy.

marinelife's avatar

@KNOWITALL But that’s precisely it. You don’t know how pervy people are as they sit in front of their computer reading other people’s salacious answers to a question thye’ve asked. Or, worse, you do know how pervy they are, but some other people don’t.

wundayatta's avatar

@marinelife Why does it bother you if people are pervy? You don’t have to see them. You don’t know what they are doing.

I think there have been times when people didn’t figure out I was a guy. I got that feeling that they were a little more interested in me than they would be if they knew I was a guy. It was a bit creepy, but I know that I can stop it any time I want. As far as what they think in their own heads… really, I don’t care. I don’t even think about it. Unless it’s to help answer some question.

Mariah's avatar

Even though I’ve been “of age” for a few years now I still feel really awkward about it, like I’m too young for people to be asking me about that kind of thing. I’m getting a bit better with it though.

Shippy's avatar

@KNOWITALL I am ‘open’ too. I have girlfriends too, we have yet to share, how we masturbate in great detail. I think I would excuse myself and be utterly turned off. @wundayatta A lot of [NSFW] questions are about female or male issues, that could involve sexual activities and illness or issues regards this. One of my own for example asked about a sea sponge and female hygiene. I would have been very sad if someone had by-past it because they thought it was a titillating question.(Or just plain inappropriate question). As opposed to a serious question wanting some advice or feedback.

marinelife's avatar

@wundayatta I don’t want to feed or be the object of their pervyness. Also, they could be doing it to vulnerable people like teens. They are preying on people’s innocence on the Internet. People are unwillingly participating in their pervyness.

wundayatta's avatar

@marinelife You don’t know what happens in other people’s heads, though. So this is all in your own head. You imagine you could be the object of someone else’s pervyness.

Look, if someone tried to get your number or something, and to get you to participate in activities you don’t want to—I can see that would be a problem. It could be scary. But to be worried about something that goes on in someone else’s head—that seems to me like you’re making up trouble.

When I was a freshman in college, it turned out that my first roommate was gay. One night I returned to the room, to find he had a guest. The guest was sitting next to his bed. I turned around and marched right back out.

I’m not going to say that was pervy, although it was the first time in my life that I had any direct experience with homosexuality. It did, however, freak me out.

When my roommate’s guest left, I went back in the room, and we had a talk. One thing he told me, which did allay my fears, was that he was not going to come after me. I’m sure he said it in a kinder way, but the meaning was clear: I was fantasizing if I thought a gay man would be interested in me simply because of what was between my legs. What I imagined in my head, it seems, was my problem. It had nothing to do with reality.

I don’t think you are feeding anyone else’s pervyness. For one thing, you don’t tell that kind of story. But the other thing is that we have no control over what people think. If they want to think pervy thoughts, they will, whether we want them to or not. You cannot control anyone else’s thoughts, and if someone has a crush on you, and wants to think… whatever… then they will.

You can’t feed them anything more than is already in their heads.

And even if people do get off on what others say, why is that wrong? Why feel it so necessary to deny other people their pleasures if they don’t hurt you? Is this the slippery slope argument? If they get one pleasure, then the next thing you know they will be demanding more? Sending pms? Etc?

What am I not understanding here?

Seek's avatar

Bah. There are pervs all over the place, and people that are pervy about silly things. Should I stop wearing shoes because someone has a shoe fetish? But then I’m exposed to all the people who have toe fetishes! Maybe I’ll wrap my feet in leather. Damn! Leather fetish!

I’ll talk about almost anything. I don’t care. No one I see on a daily basis is a member of this site, so it affects me in no way to speak my mind.

marinelife's avatar

@wundayatta

1. I am not “worried”. I just don’t want to feed anyone’s perv thoughts.

2. I don’t care what’s in someone else’s head. What I care about is someone thrusting their sexuality into the community by soliciting sexual talk or experiences for salacious purposes. That is an intrusion of the asker’s sexuality on others. They are asking people to participate in their sexuality. That is what is gross and creepy..

KNOWITALL's avatar

I guess I don’t really care after reading all these posts. If it feels good do it. :)

wundayatta's avatar

@marinelife Because you think it gross and creepy, are you asking other people not to do it? Do you want it to be forbidden, even for those who are ok with it?

Shippy's avatar

All the pervys meet up loll.

KNOWITALL's avatar

A new website, ‘virtual pervs’- lol

Frankly some Americans, esp where I live, are so uptight it’s nice to be a little more open online.

Shippy's avatar

@KNOWITALL I definitely hear you. I have noticed a difference in how Americans see things. I think for me though, it’s all kind of stale. You know?

KNOWITALL's avatar

@Shippy All sex is stale, what’s up with that? Been monogamous a while I’m guessing? Trust me, even the most inventive partners get a little stale after years together, maybe you should read 50 Shades of Grey or try something new, role playing, nude colonies, partner swaps, etc…

I’m way to repressed by my culture and religion to do most of that myself, and so is my husband, but it sounds fun! :) Sometimes I think of running away and trying new things.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

It seem rather simple, you go to those older and see how many actually answered; then ask them what their motivation is to sharing such details.

Shippy's avatar

@KNOWITALL I’ve done it all years ago. It’s time now to meditate feed my soul!

KNOWITALL's avatar

Oh poo, Shippy, if you’ve done it all, you’re the one to teach repressed ppl like me love.

My friends want me to go to Amsterdam with them and feel liberated for once, outside of our religious town and everyone I know, the idea excites me, I must admit. I’ve only really had one lover who allowed that ‘side’ of me to be fulfilled in my life, and I’m almost 40, can you imagine? Don’t, it sucks.

Shippy's avatar

@KNOWITALL Ah well, you are not jaded like me then!!

KNOWITALL's avatar

Not jaded, but extremely curious! I’m like Francesca in Bridges of Madison County, stuck. It’s kind of sad for me.

SuperMouse's avatar

I am fairly certain I participated in at least one of those masturbation threads and I really don’t have a problem with stuff like that. One reason I jumped in there was to “pay it forward”. When I was younger someone gave me some great advice about self-pleasure and I wanted to share it. I also think that masturbation, especially for women is ridiculously taboo and I openly participate in those threads as a way of thumbing my nose at people who think it is improper for a woman to engage in pleasuring herself. As to @marinelife‘s point about pervs seeing the post, well so be it. I certainly don’t post things to give perverts something to jerk off to, but let’s face it, for the most part, the people who are going to do that type of thing are probably going to be heading to sites much more hardcore than Fluther. If they do come here and get off on reading one of those threads, it really means nothing to me or my world.

Also get asked lots of questions about my sex life in real life because my husband is quadriplegic. You might be surprised at how many people think it is perfectly ok to ask me if/how we have sex. That might be another reason I don’t get too worked up about those questions here, because I am used to fielding them in the real world.

DominicX's avatar

It definitely depends on the question and who’s asking it; I used to be someone who would never want to talk about something like that; I definitely changed a bit after living with groups of guys in college who are very open about this kind of thing. It essentially “desensitized” me to it and made me feel more comfortable talking about stuff like that. And also, since I was somewhat late to the whole sex/relationship thing, I became more enthusiastic about being able to participate in discussion about it. But like others have said, if the question doesn’t seem to have any other purpose other than get detailed answers about people’s sexuality (while offering nothing on the other end), I may judge that this question is “creepy” and only serving to fuel someone’s masturbatory fantasy or whatever it may be.

So, yes, I don’t mind answering personal sexual questions but only if it seems like there’s something more to the question, if that makes any senses.

blueiiznh's avatar

I don’t ask.
I don’t tell.

SuperMouse's avatar

@DominicX I forgot to make the point that it depends on who is asking the question, I totally agree with that. I do remember that the jelly who asked about lady’s masturbation routine was a regular who was fairly well respected so it was clear the question wasn’t about trolling.

Pandora's avatar

Simply put. NO! I don’t mind joking about it or if my husband asks me. But outside of that, its just not anyone elses business.

augustlan's avatar

I don’t mind a bit. If it’s particularly creepy or something, I might steer clear, but otherwise I’m an open book. Though I might answer under an alternate name, just because my teenagers are members here. They don’t need to know everything about dear old mom. ;)

rojo's avatar

Yea, why not?
I am sure some of the questions are put out there for voyeuristic purposes but, then again, some of them might be because someone is wondering “Am I the only one who does/enjoys this and does that mean I am perverted?”.

mazingerz88's avatar

Absolutely. I love answering these kind of questions. Why? People grow old and die. The time to have physical fun is now. I find pervy women more alive and interesting than prudes.

Shippy's avatar

@mazingerz88 ‘Prudes?’ loll… walking away!

rojo's avatar

@mazingerz88 You might want to check with @Nullo. I hear he has a list going.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@mazingerz88 LMFAO, a lot of us women find pervy men much more interesting as well!!

rojo's avatar

@KNOWITALL You too!, Ok, check the perv list.

jca's avatar

I am proud to be on that list!

jca's avatar

@rojo: You know what I really love? That @Nullo came out with his statement on that other thread, and then never returned to it to talk about his twisted logic.

wundayatta's avatar

It’s a fake list. I’m not on it.

Seek's avatar

I’m not either. Then again, I’m probably currently the only person on Fluther who qualifies to not be on the list. Unless he counts dirty thoughts. ^_^

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